A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, so im about to turn 17 and my boyfriend is about to be 21. we have been together for a couple months and things are getting very complicated. im becoming scared of him. he keeps pressuring me about falling in love... he always says "i dont think you love me". and i dont know what to say. we have had sex and he ALWAYS wants it. today, he texted me "so where are we gonna go to have sex tonight?" (i live w my parents) and i replied "haha". he said "im serious". i said "idk...". him: "lets try anal tonight hahah" me: "thats gonna make me cry :( it will hurt". him: "youre gonna be crying then. we're doing it." he tells me that i am never ever ever allowed to talk to another guy.he wants me to quit cheerleading bc he doesnt like that i cheer for the boys.i am not allowed to go out with friends. i have to lie about where im going in order to go out. if he calls me and he hears people, he freaks out and says mean things. if i dont put up w it he accuses me of "changing" or "acting tough around my friends"he always wants sexy pictures of me and when i refuse, he guilt trips me and says that i should "do it because he says so and he is my boyfriend. i send him a pic everyday of what i wear to school and it is always too revealing.he does not respect other women. the other night we were in wawa, and the cashier said have a nice night and he didnt say anything back, jus took his change from her harshly. i said babe say thank you! and he gave me a very mean look, said "who do you think you are?" and jus led me out the door.he wants to fight other guys all the time. constantly proving he is dominant. he works as a bouncer in a club and takes a lot of pride in getting to "throw people out" and getting into fights.he is ridiculously attractive... so i think that may be why he is so cocky. he has "Gods Gift" tattooed on himself. he is 6 foot 4, perfect body, has a lottt of money so he dresses nice, blonde hair, blue eyes.but im fallin for him.. can i fix this? pls help im emotionally drained.
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male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (4 March 2011):
 He is on the wrong track and probably has many, many, more years of this type of behavior ahead. The immaturity level is extreme and make no mistake: this absolutely is the kind of man who could physically hurt you without warning. His looks and his money have "spoiled him rotten."
If you really want to stay with him longer, because you love a challenge or you just feel like it. Here is what I suggest. Draw the line in the sand. Tell him straight up, his arrogance and possessiveness is a "huge turn off." Tell him, you will do nothing with him sexually you don't feel like, and you will see your friends whenever you like.
--Do NOT have unprotected sex with him.
He will threaten you, but if he is this afraid of your freedom at age 17, he is very likely to be a cheater himself. You might have a chance to save him a few hard lessons, but don't waste too much heart or energy on him. And secretly: don't take his drama seriously -or you will make yourself sick.
One more thing, if or when he physically hurts you. Do yourself (and the next girl) a favor: escape the situation in any way possible, and call the police immediately.
A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 It was pretty horrible reading this :/
Break up with him NOW. I say "now" because do it while you still can, before you think you're too in love to leave him. Why are you with him? I can see NO redeeming qualities at all. Even if he is gorgeous on the outside, looks don't last forever. I wonder where that tattoo is because it's going to go all wrinkly when he's old and it'll say something like "Go if".
It might be hard telling your parents but SillyB is right, they'll support you and it'll be easier knowing they're their for you. Plus, you won't have to lie to them about everything that's going on.
Don't live in fear of this guy any longer. Break up with him and don't let him use you like this. If you continue your relationship with him, you're going to lose a lot, from your social life to your dignity, and most of all: your happiness.
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A
male
reader, spnwinchester  +, writes (4 March 2011):
If somebody else had wrote exactly what you just wrote on here, you would probably think they would need to get away from that guy
Honestly where do you think this is going? Just dump him, it may hurt a little at the start but in the long run you'll have a lot more freedom and be a lot happier.
This guy does NOT deserve you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): Sorry but it's pretty obvious from reading your post that he doesn't care for you at all and only sees you as someone who'll do what he says and to have sex with.
You're going to have to be careful that this dominating behaviour doesn't get worse. For the moment he only says mean things to you when you hang out with friends, maybe later on down the line he'll give you a punch to make sure you don't.
You'll also have to accept a life of no friends (maybe not even your family if he takes a dislike to them), not being able to do any hobbies that interest you and you'll only be able to do a job he approves of.
If you think you're feeling bad and emotionally drained now, think of how you'll feel after a few years with this guy. So my advice surprisingly, is to leave him!
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A
female
reader, White_Lillies  +, writes (4 March 2011):
Stay away from such guys, I think he is looking only for sex and nothing else. Your bf sounds pretty rude and has a bad conduct. He is mean and using you. He will eventually dominate you and you will end up getting hurt. Tell him about your opinions and your sufferings, if he is not giving you any respect then end it with him. He's just obsessed with you. In fact he doesn't love you.
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A
male
reader, gaydating +, writes (4 March 2011):
I think you cant fix that...If I was you, I would leave him, there are better guys out there...yes some of them are not really attractive, but some are somewhat hot and nice too...he's using you as a sex toy to pleasure himself. to me, it seems that you are in an abusive relationship...it is a bad a idea to send him pictures...dude, if the pics are really revealing, he can threat you with putting those pics around the school if you brake up with him...anyways, try talking to him of how you feel, and let him know that you wont tolerate that anymore, and if he doesnt change, leave him, but try to do it in the best way as possible, we dont want you to get hurt
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): So break up with him.
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A
female
reader, katweetybird +, writes (4 March 2011):
Leave him. He's an asshole. He is absolutely hideous on the inside. If he makes you do things sexually that you don't want, that's called rape. This situation will only get worse for you, and you're only gonna get even more hurt. You have your own life. You are not a possession. Life's too short to let yourself be treated like that. You need to get away from him.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (4 March 2011):
 You need to tell your parents the gist of this...not all the personal details, but that he's controlling and your worried/scared/unsure. Let your parents be your biggest support and protect you. They'll be happy that you were honest with them and you'll feel better that they will take care of this situation because they love you and want you safe, healthy and happy. They'll probably make sure he doesn't have access to you, which I'm sure you realize over the long term is a good thing, he does sound scary. Just think if it's like this in the first few months, what will it be like in several years? Don't let yourself fall for him, there are lots of cute guys with much better personality traits. You're wise in seeing what is going on and being worried/scared. Time to tell your parents so that you have more support and protection around you. Hugz!
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