A
female
age
26-29,
*atweetybird
writes:About 8 months ago, I got into a relationship with an amazing guy. He's sweet, caring, funny, and he'd never do anything to hurt anyone. Unfortunately, I have emotional issues that have never been resolved, and a couple months ago, I began physically abusing him. I get so irritated over the smallest things, and I just blow up! One time it got so bad that he got bruises on his neck! I feel absolutely horrible for it, and I'm trying to get help because I know I need it, and I can't stand to hurt him. We broke up a few weeks ago, and since then he's tried seeing me and trusting me, but I didn't get far along enough in my counseling and I lashed out at him AGAIN. I know I love this man, and I know he loves me, we had planned to get married and everything. We've agreed to not speak for about 6 weeks and I'm going to go to counseling in the meantime, but I just feel so horrible. Is it too late to fix this? Am I a monster? Please help!
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female
reader, JDinCali  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 You're not a monster. For whatever reason you've learned to deal with your emotions in a negative way or have just resorted to not addressing your feelings and so you blow up. You're being very responsible for seeking help and it shows your boyfriend you really care. Counselors can definitely help you and it's good your boyfriend is supporting you also and not hitting you back, he really cares for you too. Counselors can give you that outlet, (a safe place to vent your feelings about things). You can also help yourself by keeping journals to vent your feelings, (giving yourself a sense of security). Maybe after a while you'll be able to see patterns that give you clues as to why you're feeling angry; (this will help the counselors, as well as giving you a peace of mind). If you can't think of things to write then, get some art paper and try keeping a drawing journal or painting journal. Maybe take some interesting photos that speak to you and scrap book them. Try to journal your feelings before and after yoga. Maybe write about how different styles of music make you feel.Also, try getting involved in a sport, like running, where its mainly depended on your own determination to finish. Heck, try it all! :) After all this emotional venting you're sure to see a difference and your boyfriend will be pleased to see you trying new ways of 'letting go' every week. ...You might even help him find a good outlet or hobby.Wishing you the best!
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