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female
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*idwestbabe
writes: I have a huge crush on this guy. The only problem is that he is way too old. I am only 15 and he is like in his 20s but I always want to see him. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2005): i know exactly how u feel,im 15 years old and got a crush on a 26 year old...i always think about him sometimes i wish that somehow he could just be 17..but i realize now that it's just an infactuation some wierd fluttery feeling that isnt part of reality... it hurts alot to say this ,it feels like hell to face the truth..but fact of the matter is if a guy in his 20's is interested in a 15 year old there's something wrong with him...but how to break this feeling of longing for him? i honestly dont know cuz im facing the same problem, but i guess we just gotta face the truth no matter how painful it might be..we have to realize we are more in love with the idea of this guy rather then the guy himself......
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female
reader, ALoverofAngels +, writes (18 July 2005):
My dear, I am in the same boat as you are. I am 15, my crush 26. I knew that nothing could happen between the two of us, that he didn't even like me; but I went ahead and told him anyway. Tell your guy that you like him. If he says he likes you too, Bravo! That would be great. If he says that he doesn't like you, it'll be awkward for a while, but after that, it'll hurt less. If he says neither and just tells you you're too young, again, it'll be awkward for a while, but it's the only way you'll be able to move on. Good luck, melamin...
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reader, Tabbie +, writes (6 July 2005):
Well let me tell you this. And all of the people who think it is so wrong. When I was 15 i started dating my cous's best friend who I have known for years and he was 21. I never really had feelings for him like that then one night he kissed me and we have been together ever since and I'm 19 now. And I couldn't live with out him. So I think if you really think you could love him to talk to him. But I'm sure your parents aren't going to be to happy if you do start dating this guy, because I know mine weren't happy. But now they love him! So just do what your heart tells you to.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
If a 20 year old guy chases a 15 year old girl...there is something definitely wrong with that picture !Now if it's YOU chasing HIM...you need to change the direction of your focus...to guys closer to your age.Leave him alone sweetie...you are young & inexperienced.You have a lot to learn about dating, romance, sex & love.Take your time...find a guy who 15 or 16...who is sweet and decent and treats you with respect.Most 20 year old guys have already had a lot of sex by their age, and that's ALL they want from you.Then when they get it...they'll dump you & move on to have sex with other females.Do you want to suffer that type of pain?I repeat...look in another direction...protect your heart.
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reader, megz x-x +, writes (4 July 2005):
 hey I know that this is hard to take, but it's not going to happen... I know what you fel like. I'm going through exactly the same thing!It may seem like you have all the thing in common but that will all change when you want to go out with your mates and he wants to stay in. My advice: keep friends for definate. You obviouisly think hes a worthwhile friend so keep it friendly....you never know in 10 years time it might be different
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reader, pops +, writes (4 July 2005):
You certainly should not have a relationship with this man. You are too young, which you admit. Take this time to sit down and carefully analyze what it is that attracts you to him. Get past the physical( that's okay,when you are older, but you need to be able to talk to each other about something!) What personal characteristics does he have that you admire? Do you see these characteristics in other men, or boys your own age? Make a list of the things you would like to find in your " Ideal " future mate. Save this list somewhere, where you can visit it again each year, say, on your birthday, and add, or subtract from it, as you gain age, and wisdom. You need to learn about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. You need to explore your own sexuality, and learn what turns you on, and even how you have your best orgasms. When you are old enough to have a boyfriend, and lover, you will need to teach him how to pleasure you. He in turn will need to teach you how to pleasure him. Start now improving your verbal skills, so that you can communicate easily with men when you get older. Both men and women admire and are usually attracted to confident people. You gain confidence in yourself when you know your strengths and weaknesses, and don't let people make you feel less of yourself because they have spotted one of your weaknesses. When your self esteem has grown sufficiently, you will avoid the emotional trap of feeling " jealous" of other girls, or of the attention they get from men. ( Any man who would pass you by for one of them wasn't worthy of your attention, anyway, and won't know what he is missing!)You will turn 16 soon enough, and society accepts dating better at that age. The boys your age will not be mature as you are, and don't expect them to be. Your emotional maturity level at 16 will be more like an 18 or 19 year old boy. But, trust me, neither of you, at those ages, will know much of anything about yourselves, or how to maintain a relationship. You need to make plans for your college education, and keep the breaks on relationships until you have obtained job skills, or professional training. After you leave formal school, and go into the workforce, you will undergo another great change in how you view people, and what you value in them. People you once respected will disappoint you when you see how they behave at work. All this is part of growing up. Give yourself time to learn about yourself, become happy with who you are as a single person, and be independent. Then, when you choose to enter a relationship, it will be for love and your true choice, and not simply a need to be socially accepted( everyone else is getting married!), or not to be " lonely ". If you really like yourself, being alone can be the best company, at times. And, if you do meet someone special, you can tell them you want to be with them, and that you don't need to be with them. Sort of like the difference between being born, and being adopted. With the first, you may never know if you were and are wanted by your parents; with the later, you always know they wanted you. Spend time with griends, male and female. Go out together as a group. I had a roommate in college who dated his wife all through college as part of a group. They never really got personally involved with each other until the last couple of months of undergraduate school. When he left to go to grad school in the Midwest, she was left in California, wondering what to do. She came through on her way to Boston to visit College roommates, and they renewed their passionate relationship. She even changed her travel plans to spend more time with him on the way back to California. After she left, he was miserable- to be with, too- and I asked him if he loved her. He said he thought so. I asked him if she loved him, and he again said he thought so. I asked him if their was really any doubt, and he said, probably, no. I then suggested that he call her up and ask her to marry him, so they could begin the rest of their lives NOW. He did call her, that nite, and he did propose, and she did accept. He took a job in defense industry to avoid being drafted into the Army, and they lived in S. California, until he got his PhD. in mathematics,and was hired by the U. of Indiana, Bloomington,as a professor. As best as I know they are still together. They both told me that the time they spent with their friends dating as a group was the best way to get to know each other as well as other people, so that when they chose each other, it was a wise choice. I think that is better advice than I could ever give you. pops
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reader, Helen05 +, writes (4 July 2005):
You are too young for this man. it would be a crime for him to have a relationship with you. It may feel like your heart might break but it won't. I'm sure that you don't want to get this man into trouble. Spend time with friends your own age and maybe when you are a bit older you can get to know this man when you have a bit more experience.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2005): Well maybe you could start off as being friends?I know when I was your age I had a crush on a guy who was 26. After a while I realised it wasn't that I liked him in a 'hot' sort of way, but because he was always nice to me and was kinda like the 'big brother I never had'
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reader, becky05 +, writes (4 July 2005):
Keep on seeing him if you want but dont take things any further, hes a bit old for you.
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