A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know lots of families have different "norms" for clothing so I'm wondering if I'm over reacting. My husbands teenage cousins seem to have no shame even when he's around. They will walk around in just a bra or braless (with a shirt so their nipples poke right through. or with a low rise shirt so you can see EVERYTHING whenever they lean over) Sometimes they'll wear shorts that are so short you can see their butt. They'll come out the shower with seemingly nothing but a robe, and I've no idea how they manage to find such short robes! Their mom will tell them to put clothes on but she's the sort of mom that talks and talks but no one listens and she just talks more like it's going to do something but nothing ever happens. I come from a more traditional family I guess, because I was taught to never leave my room or the bathroom without appropriate undergarments and modest clothing (basically should be covered from shoulders to about the knees.) Though, one difference is I had a bunch of boys in the house growing up and these girls didn't.Their behaviour is also sometimes what I would consider inappropriate, when he tells them they need to be dressed they laugh it off in a really flirty sort of way, eyelash batting, eyes rolling, giggles and all. It makes me cringe! I don't think it actually bothers my husband, he approaches it as if he just wants them to be more ladylike. However, one reason it seriously messes with my mind is because I know at one point in his life he was in a sexual relationship with one of his cousins, though not a first cousin like these girls are, and I don't know ... I don't understand how he'd be able to see that previous girl sexually, and be somehow immune to all of this??
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female
reader, san674  +, writes (20 August 2015):
hi there, it seems completely wrong with the cousins, they should hv a decency that this man is married and living with his wife, tell those girls and their mom that they shouldn't repeat this again, and tell your husband that v should c for another house (add some strong reason to it)something like kids schooling, or want a house of our own, but don't take this issue easy, it's very disgusting allowing our husband to watch some one naked at our house, better c another house as soon as possible
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2014): I don`t think I would be comfortable if these young girls paraded around in front of my boy friend.Cousins or no cousins. What are they trying to prove? The fact that they don`t listen to their own mother suggests that they have no respect for her or any one else, let alone themselves.
I certainly would not accept prancing around with next to nothing on as the `norm` for young girls. It is down right degrading. Don`t dwell on what happened with your boyfriend and his cousin in the past. That you can`t change, but you can change what`s happening now by refusing to visit your boyfriend when his cousins are there and make sure he knows the reason why. Good Luck....Aunt Matilda
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): Be careful not to put too much expectation on your daughter's dress sense, OP, teenagers will be teenagers and you may well end up very pissed off either way. It's rare that teens end up wearing clothes their parents approve of, in fact they may rebel hard and be worse than these two.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): Thanks for the replies. I guess it's just me then. I can't imagine why people think it's ok to be so undressed! I feel old fashioned lol, but it really does bother me, and if it starts rubbing off on our daughters I'd be really pissed since I want them to have a sense of modesty, so I guess it's time to reconsider living here. Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 March 2014):
 I sounds like pretty standard teen behavior. My girls who are teens/pre-teens will run around after a shower in a towel or a robe. Now, we do not share the house so it's not at all a big deal. Being OK with your body is not being un-ladylike.
If their parents aren't saying anything about or being upset I would presume this is pretty much norm in that family.
And If you live together in a two family house then it's THEIR home too.
One point in his life he dated a cousin of some sort... SO what? Doesn't mean your husband sees them as sexual objects. If you two have lived around them growing up (them growing up) I can't see WHY he would see them as potential bed mates and let's not forget these are 17-19 year old you really think they want to get their freak on with their older uncle? Yuck! Leave his past in the past.
There is always the choice to find a place of your own with more privacy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): Just typical teenagers, OP.
That's what they wear and that is how they act around men they're comfortable with too.
Don't worry about it. It's like being at the beach, you're surrounded by tonnes of women, young women etc with everything on show and while you notice it, it's not exactly something you're going to pay attention to either if you know what I mean.
The same as how women practically walk around naked in the summer. He's a guy, he notices, but they're family so there's literally zero emotion nor attraction attached. If anything he's probably wondering how you'd look wearing that style of "enticing" clothing. He probably can't wait for the summer when you start wearing similar things.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): Personally it would not bother me. Teens dress like this nowdays, and flirty behavour is normal. Good thing that your husband has no reaction to this.
Some especially woman feel resentment toward other women when they dress provocatively. Especially if other women are younger. Well, in your case you are very young yourself.
I was spending few days at my friends house who is 8 years older than me. Sheis overweight, looks older than her age and I think she was jealous toward me. After showers in a mornin go would rap a very long bath towel around me, it would go from my shoulder to almost my ankles, and go sit on a backyard, drinking coffee.
One morning she saw me and got really pisses. She started telling me that it's not appropriate to sit in my towel raped around me, because, 1st, her neigbours see me, and second her husband. Her husband is even older that her by 9 years, he was kind of older guy who completely didn't even give me the second glance.
Her daughter started defending me that this towel is so long that it looks like I am wearing a a coat, it coletely covers my body. Then she said, that she is wearing her bathing suit on a backyard all the time, and it's totaly opened.
But my friend wouldn't budge, she was really upset by it, and then switched to me wearing revealing clothes. Here I told her that it's completely non of her business what clothes I wear, and I think she is going out of her mind becaus eshe is so jealous. Well, she stoped being my friend after this.
I think if you tell them, you would create a big tension between you and them. It's not even your house only, they live there too.
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A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (11 March 2014):
 They sound like typical teenage girls, LOL. Try telling them to put on something decent and they'll come out with a t-shirt ripped up both sides and see-through tights! These girls aren't dressing like this to gain your husband's attention, they're doing it because it's what the majority of girls this age are wearing. The giggling and eye rolling and thoughtless behaviour are also typical, as is the not listening to their mother! I can understand your concern, as your boyfriend did date one of his cousin's, but I don't think you have anything to worry about here. Sure it's possible the girls may think their male cousin is cute but they probably consider him 'disgustingly old' as well, LOL. He sounds like he's taking it all in his stride and he's treating them according to their age. What you could do is go shopping with the girls and shout them a couple of outfits - but be warned, you could be in for a shock with what they choose! Try not to be too hard on their mum, it's a stressfully hard job being a mother to teenage girls.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2014): Thanks for the reply
sorry, yes we live together sort of, it's a two family house so the living room area kitchen and dining is shared. and they are 17 and 19 so...not really underage bodies
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 March 2014):
 I'm confused - does he live with these cousins, or does he stop in and they don't cover up because they're used to all women?
They may have an upbringing of not mattering about what they wear that differs from yours. My best friend and I had different dads - my father wouldn't ever lounge around the house in boxers or a dirty shirt - he'd be always dressed crisply even in jeans and a chamois shirt, whereas my best friend's dad walked around the house absolutely naked no matter who else was there because he was a nudist.
Your husband's past sexual history is in the past. If he is telling them to be dressed, then that's all that can be done. Don't think that simply some underage body will cause him to go into a feeding frenzy. If it bothers him, or if it bothers you to be around it while you are there, talk to their mom, and that's all you can do.
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