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Won't tell me how he feels

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 November 2016)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Do actions speak louder than words? He my new guy in my life about 5 months is not one for being open about his feelings. I took a break from talking to him because I felt he didn't want to talk about us and our relationship. He said it takes a lot for him to fall for someone so I backed off. About a week went by and he started messaging me again and we started spending time together again. Now he's holding my hand and being more attentive. The problem is he still doesn't tell me how he feels about me, only says I'm funny and sweet. Is into me or just what? He so loving by holding me holding hands, passionate kisses, long talks, all day texting. His actions says he cares but no words? Help!!! I really care for him well let be honest I'm falling in love with him.

View related questions: a break, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (24 November 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou could get a guy who tells you he loves you, sweet talks you all day but never shows it. Sweetie believe me actions are so much more important than words. I know it can be frustrating but some men really don't know how to talk about feelings. If you are happy with the way he treats you then don't give up, just give him time. Plus you telling him how you feel might encourage him to open up to you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHe certainly wouldn't be the first guy who isn't good at verbally expressing his feelings. And yes, ACTIONS speaks much louder than words.

It would be "easy" for him to fill your head with cheesy lines to make you "think" he cares but unless it's backed up with actions - it's JUST WORDS.

I think you have to accept (IF you want to keep dating him) that he is NOT big on words. If you can't... let him go.

And you are making the "classic" mistake many women makes - you make ASSUMPTIONS. I will quote you:

"I felt he didn't want to talk about us and our relationship." you FELT he didn't want to.. but you didn't TALK to him either. You someone expected him to be a mind reader and KNOW what you need/want from him.

LEARN to use your words yourself. Doesn't ALWAYS have to be about feelings, but good communication takes two people. Not one guessing what the other might or might not feel or think.

Not talking about your feelings doesn't mean he doesn't HAVE any.

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