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male
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writes: I have a big problem. My family have three members. One is me. Another is my mother. The other is a cousin that has a bad habit. He is a man but I am a woman. He always disputes with my mother. Last week, when my mother and he violently disputed, he punched my mother. I help my mother immediately. I was punched on on face and kicked.What should I do to solve this problem?. I have to see him every day at home.
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male
reader, Buty +, writes (11 August 2005):
Hi! In South Africa, we selebrated womens day on the 9th/8/2005. The presidnt gave a very powerful speech on Violence against women and Children.If you may allow me to quote, and here I go, "We must work together as a society to bring perpetrators of violence such as wife beating, rape, child molestation to book for such people have no place in our society". So baby I believe your cousin has no place in your society leave alone your house. Send him to the people who will keep him at his rightful place "JAIL".
A
female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (8 August 2005):
You should phone the police and report this assault. Just because he is family it does not excuse this appauling abusive behaviour. This man commited a crime against you and he needs to be treated as anyone else
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reader, becky05 +, writes (8 August 2005):
Who owns the house? If it is his house, then you and your mother need to find somewhere else to stay. The authorities can help with this without your cousin knowing.
If he is just living with you and your mother then tell him to leave, if he doesnt do so then the police will be able to help.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 August 2005):
 You sound scared by your cousin, and that's terrible. No one should have to live scared in their own home!
What you can - and should - do is call the police. Your mother should let your cousin know that if there is the slightest chance that he will become violent again, she will call the police and press charges of assault.
The law allows her to throw your cousin out of your house and it can enforce a ruling that keeps him away from you both. You can go to a police station even any time and talk to the officers there, who can give you specific details.
Please tell your mother that she must act to keep you both safe. Even though your cousin is family, he's thrown his familial rights out the window when he hit you both. You owe him nothing, and you need to protect yourselves.
Speak to your mother and persuade her to call the Police Emergency if this ever comes up again.
Take care.
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reader, pops +, writes (8 August 2005):
Who is the adult in this relationship? I assume your mother is at least one of the adults in the household. She should be making the decision about what happens to your cousin. She does not have to support him, or allow him to remain. Talk about your fears and feelings with your mother. Encourage her to take action, for both your sakes. If she thinks cousin can be helped with counseling, then get him to a professional counselor NOW. I don't believe that counseling does much good in stopping violent behavior towards loved ones. So, if mother thinks he should leave your home, then support her, and help her get him out of the house as soon as possible. If this kind of thing should ever happen again, you must call the police, and press criminal charges. Left uncontrolled, your cousin will only become more and more violent, until he really hurts or kills someone. This is not the time to turn the other cheek.
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