A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello!A girl I work with is moving in to a new house with her boyfriend and she sent an email round with a list of things she needed ie microwave, toaster, kettle, furniture etc....as they don't have much money. She said if anyone had these items she would be happy to buy them off us.Now I had a brand new toaster and kettle set that I bought 1.5 years ago - it was still in the box and never been used. I paid £37.99 for them both. I texted her asking if she'd like them and she offered me £10 for them both! I thought this was ridiculas so I texted back saying I was looking for at least £25 for them. She didn't reply.Now at work I noticed she was being off with me so I sent her an email asking if she wanted me to bring the set in for her to look at to which she replied not to bother as I was asking for too much money!What has annoyed me is that yes I feel sorry for her as they don't have much money but she doesn't help herself. She manages to buy cigarettes and goes out weekends getting drunk and buys new clothes so I have no sympathy. And to top it off she complained about me to 2 other colleagues who bluntly said to me I should be more sympathetic towards her!Then the funny thing someone bought her in 5 used mugs (2 were chipped) 2 small used pots and 4 used tea towels and a small used rug and she paid them £15!!!I've had enough of being the bad person in the office as I don't think I've asked for alot but her attitude is annoying me!
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (28 May 2011):
 i'm sure this will blow over in time, she tried it on by offering you such a poor amount and you did not cave in, so good for you! yeah she's bitter with you but you have gained more respect than if you would've just given her exactly what she wanted. you are stronger than she thought you would be and she doesn't like it. she probably feels embarrassed too that you said her offer was too low. if she can afford ciggies and alcohol the other colleagues will soon see that she does not deserve their sympathy
x
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 Just ignore her. When you quit beating yourself up, so will everyone else. Don't feel bad about what you did because you did nothing wrong! Just detach from people and do your job then go home. You don't have to be best friends with the people you work with, and this will eventually blow over. Just give it time and now you know how she really is, and a few others as well. Be polite, be professional but distance yourself. If it gets worse, talk to your supervisor or change jobs. Who needs this drama?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 Why do you care so much? She thought you asked for too much, and clearly she enjoys used things rather than something brand new. Maybe she just didn't need what you had to offer?
Look at it not from the viewpoint of friends/colleague. She doesn't have to accept any offer from you, and you don't have to lower the price and she has to take it. She's entitled to say "thanks, but no thanks", just like she did. You wanted more than she was willing to pay. This isn't rude. This is just plain business.
You don't see a salesperson getting offended if the customer doesn't want to buy your product because the price is more than they are willing to pay. Or do you? This isn't about whether or not she can afford it. Sure, if she was desperate to buy what you have to sell her, she'd spit up the 25 dollars. But, she's not that interested. So why are you taking it personal?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 May 2011):
What maverick says - good advice right there.
This is the sort of childish behaviour that is so tiresome. I always just rise above it. It's much easier that way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): I think you should ignore them. They can't fuss about it all their lives. Concentrate on you're work not on what others think. Time will heal everything. Read a book, listen to music etc. It'll distract you. You are right. There's nothing to worry about. If she doesn't want it. She doesn't. Over. Don't worry about anything.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (28 May 2011):
This situation is ridiculous. Surely you have better things to do than bitch and moan about someone at your work?
Maybe you should have said something like "I paid nearly £40 for them you can have them for half the price if you like them" as that sounds like a good deal. You have to remember you aren't selling these to someone you don't know, you're almost doing it as a part favour to someone at work. If you want at least £25 for them, maybe you should sell them on eBay or put an advert in the paper or something!
But seriously.. maybe you need to grow up and act like an adult, not a child in the playground.
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (28 May 2011):
I think I would just shrug and leave her to her own devices. You offered, she didn't take it, well that's her problem, not yours. If she wants to spend the little money that she has on cigs and alcoholic beverages, so be it. Complaining about you behind your back is another low, so if I were you I would not pay attention to her at all anymore.
So simply ignore her. If you have to work together, do what is necessary but otherwise give her no attention. Don't be angry towards her or anything like that; be indifferent.
If she notices and asks what the problem is, you can choose to elaborate by saying "You choose to buy cigarettes and alcoholic beverages and then complain about not having a lot of money. But fine, what you do with it is your choice. When I offer a decent price for my brand new stuff, you get angry because you think it's too much. You don't have to buy it. You certainly don't have to go behind my back and complain to my colleagues about me. I've never done that about you and I would never do that. If you've got a problem with me, you talk to ME about it. Since you couldn't manage that, you're not worth my time."
And then leave it at that. Never lower yourself to her level and start talking behind her back to colleagues. Never badmouth her. Like they say "Don't lower yourself to the level of an idiot. They'll beat you with experience." Stand above that crap and show people that there's atleast 1 person in this company who knows how to behave.
I've been in similar situations with classmates and colleagues, and this approach has always worked better than the direct confrontational one. For me, anyway.
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