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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend does NOT have a good relationship with his mother. It stemmed from when he was about 13 and she whipped him for no reason (he claims). He doesn't communicate with her, and now that he's 18 it comes off as if he's using her for housing and food. His dad doesn't care. I've been with this guy for 5 months and the first month I met his parents; not too much of an introduction, just a hi and bye. Since his family speaks Spanish and I do not, it's awkward for me whenever they speak in front of me. One time, when we were with a group of friends, his mother made a comment about me in Spanish. Our friends were laughing and so was she, and I didn't understand what they were saying, until my bf translated that she was making fun of my braces and asking how I kiss him and stuff. I thought it was rude. Ever since then, I've tried to avoid her because I've noticed how condescending her looks are towards me. She speaks to me with half-scorn.Last week it was my bf's birthday. He drove 6 guy friends and me to Dave and Busters and we had fun. Due to weather conditions and traffic, he couldn't make it on time to his family dinner so he canceled. His mom flipped on him and took it out on me. She sat him down and told him that he spends too much time with me (because I'm scared to go over his house, (cause of her) so we go to my house almost everyday instead) he spends too much money on me (which isn't true, he just pays for dinner and gifts), that I have him on a leash, and that I'm ugly and a bunch of other nasty things he won't tell me. I feel wrongfully judged, and I feel that it's only because of my boyfriend's inability to talk to his mom. She thinks I have a bad influence on him. What can I do? This is such an unpleasant situation. He is too stubborn to patch things up with her, especially after what she said about me.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 You can try to accommodate her and bend backwards without breaking your back with her.
Most MIL's are that way because she has to compete with you for her son's attentions.She has her own perspectives.
Misunderstandings do happens because you come from different cultures. Be more tolerant and more patient.
She is entitled to her opinions or perspective but this does not mean that you have to agree with her.
Just be nice to her and keep cool.It is perceptions that counts.
Love should overcome all your problems.
A
female
reader, nessabarela505  +, writes (3 March 2010):
Don't let it get to you I'm in the same boat. But you know there must be a reason (jealousy who know?) why she talks the way she does but don't worry about it my bf's family is the worst of people like I say they are full blown monsters calling me such a hor that's his cousin or his mom that I'm some sort of goody good they live poorly compared to how I do and my parents his family looks down on me and yeah there's been times I've cried but in the end I still show them I'm stronger and put on a smile and even though they like to critiisize as well I smile and nod and I've noticed that gets to them even more. I actually spend a couple of nights at his moms house and wooee I survived that one. For example me and him would play wrestle she would scream stop it now wtf is your guyses problem grow up already I just sat back down and smiled at her while I thought "yeah your one to talk" if only you knew your situation doesn't sound as bad if your into this guy stand by him. If only I told you more but don't let it get to you I have braces too btw I freakin love dem... I bet your a pretty little thang so don't worry smile and keep your head up.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 March 2010):
You have to rise above it. Sounds to me like she's a bit of a nightmare. so rise above it all, realize you're not ugly and you're better than that, and just continue as you are. At least you know one thing, your boyfriend sticks up for you.
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