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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for the past 6 months. In January (3 months time) he's planning to join the army and will be away for months at a time. Recently he asked me to marry him, and I'm not sure if it's what I want to do. My friends think it's a great idea as they can see how happy we are together but my parents don't agree. They think I'm too young to be commiting and say I need to live a bit first, in a way I do see what they mean as I've only ever been in two relationships that I actually took seriously.Also I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to handle him being away, he's made up his mind that that's what he wants to do and I don't want to ruin it for him but I can just imagine going out with my friends, them all having boyfriends or meeting new people and me being on my own.I have no idea what I should do, I'm useless at making decisions and I've been worrying so much that I'm going to make the wrong one.Can anyone help me or give me advice? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014): Hi ladies! I am also 16, and my boyfriend just turned 18 while at Ft. Benning for Infantry training. He left in late July and I am dying. I was so used to talking to him every single day, then 2 weeks without any communication what-so-ever hit me. We've been dating for 1 year now, and hopefully many more. I was always scared that he'd lose all feelings for me while he was gone. Buuuuut, then I received my first letter. :) He said exactly what I needed to hear, and lifted so much stress off of my chest. I wasn't and still am not EXACTLY sure when he'll be home. I've already told him that I'm not getting married until I'm done at my 4-year university, and he's fine with that. In my opinion, if you want to marry him, do it & if you don't, don't. It doesn't matter what others think, as long as you two are happy. :)
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reader, cm20  +, writes (16 April 2011):
I would, my boyfriend wants to join the army now and I'm completely torn. We've been together for almost 2 years. I support his decidion, even though I don't believe in the wars we're in at all, but if he wants to do that I will be there for him, but I'm worried about what will happen over time. I am so worried something will happen to him or that he will become a different person, or that we will fall out of love. I admire the many wives and girlfriends that have waited for their men who were serving and the relationship has outlasted everything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): I'm 20 and in a similar boat to alot of you. My boyfriend leaves for basics in July and by then we'll have been together almost 3 years. We're going to get married before he leaves. It's scary though and I can't keep my fears at bay. I've never exactly been pro military, but I will not stand in the way of his dreams. The only reason I even question marrying him is because I'm so afraid he won't come home and I don't think I can handle it. If you question the relationship in itself even in the least bit, then don't go through with it, it means emotionally you are not ready yet.
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reader, shyandjosh2gether4eva +, writes (10 February 2010):
well i am only 16 but i have a boyfriend who is in the army and i have been with him for 2 months and he juss left to korea. its not as bad as most people think. like i talk to him online and on the phone everyday and you always have something to talk about. i think if your in love with him things will work out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): okay so im really young compared to you guys :( (16)me and my army man were together for two years on and off. When he got into the army he decided he want something serious. I love him with everything in me but sometimes I do stop and think about what i am giving up, still being in schoola nd everything. He talks about getting married all the time and when he came home from basic training he asked my dad for my hand in marriage. He said yes! I couldnt believe my dad had just signed my life over to this boy. We have our ups and downs but i wouldnt be witha nyone else. I think when you are with someone in the military it makes you love them and cherish them even more. I am so proud of him and do want to spend the rest of my life with him. Currently he is in Afghanistan and it is terrible. I have absolutly no doubts about him and if you find yourself questioning wether or not you want this relationship really consider before you make your decision.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): Hi my name is susie im 17 years old my boyfriend is an activ duty soldier i love him with all my heart. ive known him since i was 11 or 12 my family and his family are reaLLY GOOD FRIENDS so we hung out alot wen we were young :) but i always ignored him (he wsnt the cutest guy in the wrld LOL), after a couple of years we lost contact it had been 3 yrs since id seen him.. then one dai i recived a txt mssage i dnt recognize the number so i asked who it was and it was him... i found it weird that he was txting me HE LIVED IN TENNESSE(how did he get my number??) but i reolized i had called his half sisters two days ago frm my phone... so we started talking as we talked for like 2 mnths i started likeing his personality, his way o thinking i never once saw a picture of him in those two mnths... i strted feeling like i wanted to talk to him like i needed too i felt comfortable..and one day i asked for a picture and he said "ok im going to send it but promis me that your feelings arent going to change" (i had already told him i liked talking to him) i said "OK".. when ii saw the picture my fellings dnt change at all i felt like i was ment to be with this guy..... a month later i convinced my parents to go visit his fam.. and i saw him again when i first saw him it was like my heart was about to pop out of my chest, i dnt kno wat to say i was vry nervouse :), that night he asked me t be his girlfriend i said yes, my love for my boyfriend is tru i fell in love with is personality, then his loooks, two months later he left for AIT in coloumbus georgia he was there for 4 mths i nevr got to see him... then he went to ft stuwart georgia (i liv right in between thos two places)i got to see him one more time b4 he got deployed to iraq:(.... ive only seen himm twice since we strted our relashionship and i wnt see him again for another six months!! i love him .... but i dnt see myself married to him i 3 more years id like to go to school do somthing for myself kno that i hav something to hold on to because when i do marry him he wnt b there mst of the time and if something happens to him (god forbid) i kno i can support myself i kno i hav a future we both talked about this and we hav come to an agreement he knew my gols my dreams b4 we started our relationship and he knos that there nt gona change... hes in iraq right now i talk to him almst everyday on the computer which is great (he got internet for me) he wanted to make it seem like nothing had changed and i thank him for that, hes making it less hard on me.. i love him !! but you both hav to be on the same page u hav to COMMUNICATE!!! thats the mst important thing and all that time that he is gona be away will make your relashionship stronger i promis... when u havent seen him in 6 mnths and you see him walking twards you with open arms its the BEST FEELING IN THE WRLD!!!!!! you both WANT to see eachother u WANT to hugg him u WANT to touch him you want to memorize every sigle thing thats happening at that moment its awsome!!! Good luck with your relashionship just look at what you hav grl look at all the things you hav shared with him look AT EVERTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT HIM but mst importantly think of wat YOU want b.c in the long run YOU hav the dicision wat do YOU want when u figure that out TALK to him about it and ifhe loves you he will understand and wait a little more....
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): I guess I'm not really in the same boat, everyone else who's shared seems so young. Not that I'm so old but sometimes a decade can seem like a lifetime. I'm in my late twenties and I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. The army has always been lurking in the edges of our relationship, the way I refer to the army should give you a fair idea of what I think of it. I used to tell my boyfriend straight up I wasn't interested in being an army wife, heck, I wasn't interested in being a wife period, but certainly not an army wife. I know my limits. Marriage takes work, why add another load? I'm not a hard worker. He accepted that. Sometimes I wish he had been less accomodating and had left then. After 5 years of ups and downs, seperations and reunions, he decided he was going to work for the army for a year. We talked about it and I let him know that if he wanted to settle down after the year, I would be receptive to a proposal, however if he wanted to stay with the army, work with them on a regular basis, which would mean a military life possibly with lots of time apart and moving around, that wasn't the life for me and that would be the end of our relationship. He accepted that. My worry is that he doesn't know what he wants. If you don't know what you want, that's okay, but cut the other party loose, and spend some time to figure it out. If you know what you want, state it, be prepared to make some compromise, and come to an agreement.
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reader, fallingstar88 +, writes (26 November 2009):
I am in the same position as you I'm 19 and my boyfriend is in the Army he's already been through basic training but is going through his AIT training he's been gone about 6 months now i've been with him not for almost 2 years and i love him very much! Being a girlfrined of anyone in the military is hard because its a commitment to long leaves and a lot of time apart! It's very hard for me, I miss him like crazy and love him very much! If he asked me to marry him i would gladly say yes because i know deep down i can't live without him but in the same instance you have to be sure thats exactly what you feel if your worried about being commited to someone you dn't feel you can keep to don't do it wait it out besides even at 19 just like me i know it's a tough decision because you still are young and it's a decision that takes a lot of thought and courage because you could come to realize you want to be out havinga good time wiht you friends but if you truly feel you cant' live without him and you want to be with him forever then i say accept his proposal but it's a choice you need to think very carefully about! I miss my boyfriend everyday he's not here and it's very hard but for sure something you can get through you just have to be willing to try i have plenty of friends who walk around with their boyfriends and meeting new people and sure i somethimes wish i was like them but then i remember the person who makes me smile everday whether he's here or away and i knw he's always thinking about me and i know i don't want anyone else
good luck to you and your decsion but what ever itbe follow your heart
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reader, Meleah-Monster +, writes (25 October 2009):
I am 19 and my boyfriend of 1 year just left for basic training two and a half weeks ago. It hurts. I know you other women here feel my pain. It hurts so much. I can't go a day without missing him terribly and I cry at the weirdest times. I have loved him for a very long time, but the timing was never right for us. Now it is, and now he's gone. If he had asked me to marry him before he left, I probably would have said yes, however somewhat tentatively. The first night he was gone, I knew beyond a doubt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. My point is that maybe with all the stress and anticipation and fear of the unknown, maybe you're confused about what you really want, and that's okay. When he leaves, if you find yourself too stressed to handle it and want to leave him behind, at least you found out something about yourself before making that commitment. If he leaves and you suddenly realize you can't live without him, then maybe it is meant to be. I say wait it out, and certainly at your age there is no point in rushing into things. If your marriage doesn't make you miserable, skipping your childhood will, and being broke isn't fun either. Getting married to him will not keep him from leaving, and it won't make him come back any sooner. Wait until you are both ready.
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reader, imogen1068  +, writes (20 September 2009):
 if i was you i would say yes. if you love him then what have you got to lose?
im in the same boat my boyfriends off in the army in a few weeks so im making the most of the time i have left with him as hes going to be away for ten weeks :( hes only just joined so its gonna be really hard for me coz im use to him always being here for me. i just hope him being away brings us closer im afraid it will all fall apart but i love him so much that i would wait for him.
anyway good luck xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): hiya love im 20 from england i have been with my bf for just over a month he ha been in the army nearly 2 years now and hes based in germany he just went back 2day and im missin him like mad i love him 2 bits am not guunna see him for 4 months now he rang me before and wer both gunna end up haveing verry big fone bills but i love him like mad your bf will probs have the internet to talk to you evary night i wud say YES! if you love him i wud marry my bf 2morrow if i cud i carnt get him out of my head all i have been doin is cryin but ill get used to it soon and you can allways go and see him
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): I am a 15 year old teenager and I am going through a somewhat similar situation as you and many of these young girls replying to this. I was needing some help on my situation and I received it with many of your answers to your question.I dont know if you want to hear what I say because what I have to say really isn't what everybody else said. I am clueless still myself. My boyfriend as 17 when he left for boot camp this summer. He sent letters, but we didn't get to talk on the phone not once while he was gone for 10 weeks. He had his 18th birthday there and I didn't even get to celebrate it with him. He comes back and natuarally I go to see him. We were the closest me and him has ever been. I never even thought that we could be closer than what we already were before he left. He had to tell me something though. He is a senior this year and he is going off to be an active soldier as soon as he graduates. He said he could be gone for months, even years at a time. I dont know if I will be able to handle it but i do know one thing and this is my advice:When I seen my boyfriend yesterday for the first time in 10 weeks, we were the closest we ever were with eachother. If I think positive then maybe we could be even closer after years away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): Hi there :)Two days ago my boyfriend went into the army. I'm missing him like crazy and he's in for 6 weeks until i can see him again!However, i am going to continue seeing my boyfriend as my love for him is like no other feeling i have ever experienced. It really hurts to know that he's gone .. sorta like he's taken part of me with him.It hurts me physically too, i get aches and pains when i think about him.But, i don't mind if it hurts, i'd rather spend my whole life hurting if i knew i was one step closer to being in his arms again.You need to consider if you really do respect and love this guy, and if you can accept that he will be away.I think that the absence will make your hearts grow stronger, and strengthen the relationship between you both.Much knowing sympathy,I know how you feel.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): omg! I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 18 we've been together for like 5.5 months now and I can honestly say that I am head over heels for this dude. he is the sweetest person I know and I can talk to him about anything because he has never judged me, even when we were just friends my freshman year, he was the same way! well, he joined the army and now he's at basic and I'm dying here without him. I see our stories being somewhat the same and I think you should accept the proposal and just be the same with each other until your actually ready to get married....that's what I plan to do. my bf proposed to me right before he got on the plane to basic and I was undecided but the first phone call I got from him I told him I would marry him because I can't see myself being this happy with anyone else. so now I got a ring and I see it as confirmation that we are going to be together forever.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): Hello! im 17 and my boyfriend is 18 i was on the internet and i typed in Google, what to expect when your boyfriend goes in the army and i came across this site. I really feel for you and i'm in a similar position as ive been with my boyfriend 10months and have had an on/off relationship for 4 years, i've always loved him and i know he's always loved me but because of one thing or another its not always worked out, but now we're stronger than ever and we love eachother endlessly. i've always known he wanted a career in the army so i've sorta always had to deal with it. However, its starting to dawn on us that he'll be going into the Royal Marines in september. weve talked about it so much and both feel really comfortable with the idea now. he also said that when he passes out he'll propose to me, he asked if i'd say yes and i jumped at the answer! he's my absolute soul mate, my bestest friend, my true love and i am sooo proud of him for what he's doing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that if you really do love your boyfriend, and you're willing to stand by him through thick and think even when times are so difficult, and you believe that this relationship can deffinately work then go for it!! just be prepared for a rough ride! but also be prepared for the amount of pride you will feel for them because its so overwhelming, hope i've been abit helpful...in some way:) x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): Hello! im 17 and my boyfriend is 18 i was on the internet and i typed in Google, what to expect when your boyfriend goes in the army and i came across this site. I really feel for you and i'm in a similar position as ive been with my boyfriend 10months and have had an on/off relationship for 4 years, i've always loved him and i know he's always loved me but because of one thing or another its not always worked out, but now we're stronger than ever and we love eachother endlessly. i've always known he wanted a career in the army so i've sorta always had to deal with it. However, its starting to dawn on us that he'll be going into the Royal Marines in september. weve talked about it so much and both feel really comfortable with the idea now. he also said that when he passes out he'll propose to me, he asked if i'd say yes and i jumped at the answer! he's my absolute soul mate, my bestest friend, my true love and i am sooo proud of him for what he's doing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that if you really do love your boyfriend, and you're willing to stand by him through thick and think even when times are so difficult, and you believe that this relationship can deffinately work then go for it!! just be prepared for a rough ride! but also be prepared for the amount of pride you will feel for them because its so overwhelming, hope i've been abit helpful...in some way:) x x
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reader, GL11 +, writes (1 September 2008):
 do you know what im only 17 yrs old, and i wldnt expect you to take mi advice or anyone elses, because only you know what your relationships like, no one else. but i will giv you advice, and i hope that its helpfull, i think that you should, if you love him and can see yourself with him for the rest of your life, that includes getting marries, havin children, n living together, if your heart sinks when hes not with you, then you know hes the one, im confused right now cz im 17 n mi boyfriends just gone in the army, and i miss him like mad, i want to be with him for the rest of my life and i no his the one, i want to go 2 cyprus with him when he gets posted there, but i can't till we can get married.. so i would say go for it, what have you got to loose, would you rather be with him or without him, i would say YES! n make him the happiest man in the world, and you deserve happiness to, cause lifes to short to cry and worry about everything and being without the one you love.
ginan x
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): If your answer to his proposal is not a resounding, positive, no reservations "yes", then you should probably not go through with it. Military relationships are hard and if both of you aren't 100% positive, then maybe you should take some more time. ...maybe wait until he's done with basic and A school and then see where your relationship stands.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): Hey,
I've been with my boyfriend since we were both 14 (we are 21 now!), he has been in the army for about 1 year now. When I met him he always said that the army was what he wanted to do, so who was I to step in his way?! As I'm writing this he is currently in Afghanistan, he comes back in 4 days for 2 weeks leave and then has to go back again until october! We have talked about marriage and even though we have had our ups and downs probably because we got together so young and we both broke off the relationship but got back together I know he is my soul mate and that we are meant to be. I love him unconditionally and I know he loves me the same way in return! and I can't wait to be his wife!
What I'm tryin to say is if its meant to be then what can you do? I wouldn't get engaged just yet or married, listen to your parents they've been there and done it! We've both waited and 'lived' and now after nearly 7 years together that its meant to be!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): im going through the EXACT same thing right now!
i have no idea what to do and im stressing really bad,except my boyfriends in the airforce in SC and im going to college pretty far away from there and hes probably going to iraq soon so i dont know what to do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): wel i understand where ya cumin 4m here becuase i'v been with my boyfriend 4 months n he has also gone into the army. He went on the 27th of Jan, but he has also asked me 2 marry him wen he comes bk out. I have said yes because I love him and I know that I can wait for him. If I was you I would do the same thing. Yes it will be hard while hes away but just think about the fantastic future ul have wen he gets out. Plus wen you are married, the army people give u a house and everything and go whereeva they go. Its upto you tho, if u can wait 4 him, accept his proposal even tho u wil miss him, if u no you cant, get rid of him instead of stringin him along. do whats best 4 u but think about him and ur future
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): i understand what you are saying. i wouldnt want the same thing, but even though my boyfriend is moving away to the army to support our furture. i think that you should go with him. if he really means that much to you. plus i could understand why your parents wont want you to go, but think about when he will come back, you will have a better furture. if you feel like you cant wait for him then dont bother going with him because you might fall in love with someone else. dont go if you cant wait, but if you can wait for your guys furture then go for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): Okay so here's my story...I was with this guy named Anthony who treated me with ultimate respect and he loved me from head to toe, inside and out. I thought to myself I found my match and I felt like we would always be together. One day Anthony pulled me aside after we both got off work, I can remember us walking out to the parking lot and him holding my hand tightly, telling me he is joining the Army. I just looked at him and thought he really wouldn't, I had so many friends that would say to me they were going to join but never did so I really just didn't believe it, and I didn't want to either. He asked if I would marry him and then I could go with him but I didn't know what to say. I knew that I loved him but was I ready for that kind of committment? I was in a tight situation and didn't know who to talk to. I got scared to the point that I called him later on and broke it off. I hoped I was doing the right thing but when the pressure was off I realized my true feelings for him and how strong they were. I regreted breaking up with him and I wish I could take it back everyday. I should have told him I would always be there for him no matter what but I didn't. We tried to stay connected one way or another and then he left for basic and I didn't get to say good bye, he simply just left. I missed him over the next six months of my life and tried to e-mail him to set things straight but unfortunately I had the wrong e-mail address. Then one day in late December of 2007 he called me and said he was in town. We met up on Christmas Eve and had time to catch up on our lives and where we stand. We talked about everything from "How are you?" to "How do you feel about me?" and "Do you still love me?" In the end we solved our differences and we want to be together again but we want to make sure we can last with him being in the Army and me being in California. We have yet to get back together but we are making progress and we now have a better understanding of eachother. Anthony left to Korea about one week ago and it was so hard letting him go again. Since then we have been writing back and forth and I know things will work itself out. I just want him to know how much I love him and that I'll always be there for him. As I'm approaching the end of my story my advice for you is to look forward and find out how much you love him and want him in your life, also I feel you should talk to him and find out what he wants in this life with you. I hope I've been of some help and please feel free to e-mail me whenever, I would like to hear back from you and this new chapter of your life, [email address blocked]
Your friend,
Laura
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): hi hun
just clicked on this webpage and saw ur question
Im joining the army in 25 days time and after i pass basic im planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me.
i thought about being away from her but if u love each other u can trust each other i think :)
he'll be making good money and will be able to give u and mabey a future family a good life while he's in the army babe :)
and as my dad always says absence makes the heart grow fonder :) xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): well i think you should just take each day as it comes, and try and spend as much time as possible with each other. when your bf asked you to marry him what did u want to say? if you feel its right to marry him an you love him you should say yes. when your bf goes in the army it will be hard and you will probably feel a bit down. if you do not think you can handle it then you should just move on an explain to your bf that you cant cope with the long distance. if he really loved you though would he decide to go in the army. do what you thinks right without listening to other people opinions im sure you will make the right choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): if you are not sure, then you don't really want to be with him. When you are in love unconditionally then you do not even have to think twice about it
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007): I really think that you should accept the proposal. I was with someone for awhile and he decided to join the army and before he left for basic training he had broken up with me and told me that i could do wahtever i wanted to but hoped i would wait for him. He comes home next week finally and i have waited this whole time for him. If you truly love him you should accept it. I know i would no matter what age i am. You could accept the marriage and just not get married for awhile.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and now he is deciding to join the army..i am in grade 12 and am starting to think about college..its hard for me to concentrate in school because i have a broken heart..but i still love him so much..i know that it will be hard to cope and im not sure yet whether we have a future together..but im going to wait it out..if i can make it with him being gone i will stay with him..but right now it is still too hard to decide..hopefully everything works out because he is my bestfriend and i want to make a life together it really helps to talk to anyone who is in the same position as you..good luck to everybody!
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reader, Britt- +, writes (4 November 2007):
I think age has nothing to do with it.!. Maturity is the biggest thing.. I was 16 years old when I met my boy friend. He was 19 years old, turning 20. I was in the same position as you are. We was only dating for about 6mon. then he had to leave for Iraq. The only diffrence is that when we met he was already in the military. He was gone for about 8 1/2 mon. I'm not sure if its because he was in the marines or what because I know of some army guys that are over there for a year.!. I would not of changed a thing. I would still go back and wait for him.!. It was really hard when he was gone. Sometimes I really didn't beleave he was gone. I would get worried when I heird stuff on the news and think it was him. Then I got a job where I worked from 9pm to 5 am. I sleep all day long then would go to work. But I still can remember seeing him for the first time in 8 mon.! I can't make your choice for you. But you really need to think about it.. You wont make the wrong choice if you follow your heart. You think about all these what if about not having him there when you friend go out with there boyfriend. What you need to really think about is: What about after he comes home and hes finially there to stay.?. When hes able to hang out with you. Your only looking at the little picture. I did to though when I told my boyfriend I would wait because I never knew how hard it would be. But like I said Hes out of the marines now and I'm sooo Happy that I waited every min of my life for him. Think out side the box. Not about the down falls when hes gone or your happy times. The question is Do you really love him. Can you see your self with him for the rest of your life. Do you want to be with him no matter what happens. Is he your life.?. Hope you make the right choice. Whatever choice you make dont look back and say what if because you can't go back no matter how bad you want to. Just move forward! Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): Hello, if you truly love him and want to marry him you would not even ask for an opinion you would just do it because he is the love of your life. If you have to ask for others opinions then you already know what the answer is. I am 26 years old and my bf leave for basic training tomorrow and when he asks me to marry him i am going to say yes so fast he won't be able to finish his statement...LOL The age difference could be a factor as well. How old are you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): its not hard at all. my boyfriend is in the army and is stationed on the other side of the world in south korea for the next year. he's only been gone for about 4 months, although this is not his first tour. we've been together for 2 years and our love is so strong that even though it is hard being away from each other for so long, the long months are totally worth it when he comes home. as long as you truly love him, you wont have any problems. it definitely is hard being with friends that have boyfriends, but if your friends care for you, they will help you out with your situation. also, my boyfriend, has informally proposed to me :) so we are planning on getting married when he comes home. and on another note, dont think you wont get to talk to him if he gets stationed overseas. many places, including korea have unlimited international phone plans for calling home. 70 bucks a month isnt bad for unlimited intl phone calls! we talk for at least 3 or 4 hours a day!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): my boyfriend is in the royal air force, and he's being posted to the other side of the world, for about 3 years. theres no way i can split up with him though. love wins every time.
don't let love slip away! EVER! you can get through together. yeh it will hurt and it will be hard to live without him...im petrified about him leaving, but you'll still be together, and you'd still worry about him and miss him if you weren't married!
hope that helps
;-)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): My boyfriend just has joined the Army too and we have been going out for seventeen months. Honestly I wished he proposed to me. I think if you really love this guy and want to wake up to his face in the morning then you should do it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): My girlfriend is in basic right now, and while she is in the guard and is not active duty, it has still been exceptionally hard, the key is to just be there for them, and support them no matter what, it is hard, but only You know the answer of whether you should marry him, talk it over, especially with him, about your feelings, and go from there, you will know what is right, just listen to yourself. But if you doubt it at all, do not get married, it has to be something you just know is right, for you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): My boyfriend just left for boot camp on July 4th and let me tell you being away from him is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We have been together for over three years and when he left I was devastated. He's hasn't even been gone for a week and I miss him so much. Committing to a man in the armed forces is going to take a lot of work. He will be gone a lot and you just have to remember that he is apart of something that protects everyone. If you do marry him, make sure you support him and don't make him back away from being in the service. You may be young but you should know if it is right or not. If you don't want to marry him just because your friends say you shouldn't or because you would rather go out, then you probably aren't ready to marry him. Good Luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): i dont think you should get married. i think you should wait untill he gets back from his ait training. its going to be a very stressful time for you. you need to focus on what you need. if you love him still when he comes home then you should think about it but as long as your happy thats all that matters. i mean you wouldnt have written this if you werent worried right. think
sincerly judy
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2007): If you love your boyfriend, then if I were you I would get engaged...not married right away though. But thats only if you love him. If you don't know if you can wait for him then that means that you don't love him. But just do what you want to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): I didnt think anyone else stressed about this either. My boyfriend was already in the army when I met him so I couldnt really tell him to drop out. There is times when I tell him that I hate the army because it gets really hard not seeing him for awhile, but i dont mean it. It does get tough but if you really love him you need to talk to him and tell him you respect what he wants to do but ask him to think about how its going to affect you. Im finding it really difficult at the minute as hes just been depolyed to afghanistan but its just one of them things at the end of the day and you just have to deal with it. It does get easier after awhile though :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): well you do need to see if theres something better out there you need to live a little and breathe it very hard being away from someone you love so much as i know my boyfriend is in the army and wont be home till march its sad to seem him gone but im glad becuase i know in my heart hes doing a great thing for our country . the army changes your life tremedonusly and theres not way to prepare when your in the army you have to go with the flow of things you cant really make too many desicions. because things change all the time. so take it one step at a time. and if you too really are ment for each other youll be together. sincerly.
yours amy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): My boyfriend is also in the army and i have to be honest with you it's so difficult! There are days when you feel like giving up! My advice would be ask him to wait a while! Life will change when he goes away and you need to know that that is the kind of life you want to live. But don't panic before you try it. It get's easier. Him going away will be the true test of your love for each other. If you can last through the tough times than accept his proposal, because no matter how tough life gets Love can conqure all!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): so ive known andy for four years. i met him my freshman year of high school. hes my cousin's best friend. i fell in love with this boy instantly!!!!! we ended up making out but nothing really happened afterward. for the next four years... timing was ALWAYS off. he was always with someone or i was... but everytime i went up to conroe id ask justin... "is andy gonna be here???" my heart broke a little everytime justin said no. and then two weeks ago... he was there. i was there, we were both single and it just happened. we're finally together after four years of loving eachother. one problem. he leaves july 10th for new jersey for the coast guard... i love this boy to death but i go to college in the fall... what should i do. i want to be with him more than anything but... i dont know if i can go through college attached. but i dont want to loose him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): hey i can relate you both of your situations as well. my boyfriend of 6 months is being deployed in early may. its a really scare thing and i completely understand where you are coming from in feeling like you would be left out. its really hard. as of now, i havent talked to my boyfriend in 2 weeks because hes been in the field doing his "practice" or such, and its a real mood-breaker to see all my friends with their loving boyfriends and im just kinda there, thinking about mine. he told me he plans on asking to marry me when he comes back in a year, but heres my dilemma... should i wait until he comes back and continue the relationship, or break things off with him now. i love him so much. and im also very young. its just a very difficult situation becuase i dont want to hurt him, but then again, we have to think about ourselves. its also scary because im not exactly sure what hes really doing. ill never know, most likely. i dont know, its just a very sticky situation. best of luck to all of you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006): hey there. i can understand where your coming from because i am in a similar position. My boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months and he just left on november 1st to basic training. we are very serious and before he left he proposed to me. i am young too and dont know how i would feel going out with my friends and being engaged or even married! i see it like this, if you love the man, and you can see yourself getting married to him one day, then stay with him. if you love him you will except his career. i know it will be hard, i dont know how i will do it either! but to make sure you feel comfortable with the idea of being stuck with one guy for the rest of your life, stay engaged for a few years. i am not going to marry him until i am finished with college. then you will know what you want to do.
goodluck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): I would suggest you lie down, relax and close your eyes.
Use your imagination, and daydream about your future. A future when you are married, and if you want to, to have children. See exactly how you want things to be, concentrate on the kind of place you live in, where is it? what kind of neighbourhood is it in? Imagine it as if the future were today.
Imagine your husband is a man who is there throughout your relationship, who wants to be a great dad and is there for you, and them, every day. You have thoughts in the afternoon about seeing him later in the evening, of eating dinner with him, and sharing the responsibility of bringing up your children.
How does that feel?
Now picture the thought of knowing your husband is rarely around, but are independent and can get on with your life, mostly on your own. You have friends and family who occupy your time when you need it, and you feel strong enough to bring up your children largely all by yourself.
How does that feel?
Which picture feels most right for you? Which one feels least appealing?
The choices you make today, will determine what kind of future you have.
I believe you will make the right decision as long as you remember this fact. Good luck.
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female
reader, hannahuk +, writes (6 October 2006):
hey,dnt worry,i understand exactly what your going through!im so glad iv found sum1 hu understands what im going through aswell,i thought i was on my own,its so hard when all of your friends are off with their boyfriends,and we re stuck at home waiting for ours boyfriends call.iv been with charles 10months now,but we ve best mates for ages before,his been in the army 6months an finishs his training in 2weeks time,i havnt seen him for two weeks now an wont see him untill his passing out parade now,then he has two weeks off!we go away to mexico for a weeks holiday,then he goes back,he goes to cyprus for a week then goes straight over to iraq,an i dnt no when he will come back,or even how often i will talk to him.His being hinting to me that he wants to get married,an i love him sooooooooooo much,that i will say yes,he makes me so happy and im prepared to wait for him,because i think his worth it,he also said to me that if we get married we will get our own house together on the barracks in his army an i could be a military wife,now thats the part i dnt really understand?but if u love him and you think his worth it,then go 4it,you only live once an it doesnt matter about how old you are,follow your heart an go 4 it.if u wanna chat email me or go on messenger,any1 hus in my position,because i would love to have a friend who i can talk to about it:[email address blocked]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2006): you need to ask yourself, do you actually love and care about your boyfriend enough to wait for him. My boyfriend is also in the army and when we met he'd already joined. he use to come home every weekend for nearly 6 months. so right now, you don't have to worry about being apart for too long. You both need to concentrate on making your relationship work, write to eachother if he's gone for a while and try to text eachother everyday. soon your love will grow and you will carry on learning new things about eachother. most importantly you will be so excited about spending time together when he is home and you will appreciate the time you are able to spend together.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): My boyfriend has just left for the army. We have been together for 2 years and lived together for a year. We have never spoken of marriage, but 6 months is too soon to tell for you, well, it's like 8 months since you wrote that..what am i replying for...sigh..
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): my bf is going into the army in september. we have been goin out for 5months and he has asked me to marry him aswell, i said yes cos i love him so much. but you shud do what you feel is best for you
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006): I have a boyfriend going into the army also.He has decided hands down that this is his career, so i know how you feel. I think you should except his marriage offer if you truly love him. It shouldn't matter if your friends have boyfriends or are meeting new people, if you love him it won't matter. My boyfriend is my hero for joining he is out there figting for all of us in the U.S.A same with your boyfriend. I hope I was of some help. Reply back at [email address blocked]
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2006): WOW! i am in exactly, i mean, EXACTLY the same situation! my boyfriend and i have been dating for six months, he is going into the army, and he asked me to marry him! i cant give you any advice, but at least you know youre not alone :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2006): id been with my bf for a year n a half when he decided to join the army, i couldnt deal with the fact he was going away, i saw it as he was putting our relationship in jeopardy. because i couldnt deal with it we started to argue all the time. he ended up dumping me because neither of us were happy. he said he still loved me but couldnt do it nemre. after 3mnths of being apart we got back together, i knew it was the right thing to do because i still loved him n it still hurt when i saw him. i dont believe that our reltionship will survive this coz im 18 and feel this is to serious for someone my age. but i dont wana end it because i love him to much i now take the opinion of i dont think it will work but if it does then thats super. i dont fink you should marry himm coz you are to young and you barely know him. i fink you need to see what happens to you, him and your relationship when he goes, if it is still as good then go for it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2006): Hi, Im 19 Ill be 20 in March and me and my boyfried have been really cose friend since I was 14. Five of these six years we've been together and when I was 18 he joined the army. It hurt my heart so much, mainly bc of the love that we share, and because of his absence. He also proposed to me twice. At the age of seventeen and Eighteen, I wasnt ready each time, and he respected that. After he left I missed him so much, and came to a conclusion that I wanted to be with him forever. He recently came home in December, and we spent everyday together. I even finally gave him my virginity at 19. Not only do we love each, other but we are friends first and foremost. He was deployed and had to leave immediately however when he comes back, I wont let him go again. Yes, you will miss family, friends, etc but if loving and being with him is your heart's desire and what makes you happy, then go for it. Trust me you're missing nothing. Because it something isn't making you happy then its already nothing at all. Hope everything goes well and follow your heart's desire. You have to live with it and no one else .
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female
reader, stephani +, writes (14 November 2005):
Hi. My boyfriend joined the army a year ago and we'd been together for 3 years before that. Although I'm only 20 I've been with him since I was 16 and always new his plan was to join the army.I admit its been hard n when hes away i miss him so much but when i do see him it makes it so much more special.its true that absence makes the heart grow fonder.However, u talk about gettin married I'd really think about it first n see how you cope with him going away because at first I couldn't cope and ended up breaking up with him but that made me realise that i'd rather only see him when i could than not see him at all. This will really test the strength of your relationship n if you manage to make it work then go for it. My boyfriend proposed when he got bk after 6months in Iraq recently n now I just look forward to the future even tho it may well mean me becoming a military wife.GOOD LUCK!!!!
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reader, wishes +, writes (7 October 2005):
 My cousin joined the army about 3 years ago. After being in it for about a year he got back with his ex girlfriend that he had had before joining the army. The longest time he had to go away for was 12 weeks. He waited until he had gone to see how she could handle it before he asked her to marry him. It was obviously hard, but she got through it so he asked her when she got back. The army makes you have sessions with a counsellor before you get married to, to make sure that the woman will be fine with the long time periods away. Its hard for my cousin and his finace as his trips are secret and sometimes she wont hear from him for 1-2 months or know where he is. Its getting easier for her everytime and she surrounds herself by his army friends girlfriends as they are all in the same boat. If I were you I would decide whether you would prefer your life without him at all, or for periods at a time. Trust is a BIG issue here, you really do have to trust each other for this to work. I would wait to find out what its really like when he does go away- remembering that it will get easier- but that when you have children it will probably get harder. I think that if it was the right thing to do, you wouldnt have any doubts. Marriage is a life long thing. Not many people think of it like that anymore, but it really is. Best wishes to you both.x Try to stay happy.
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female
reader, Green_Eyez +, writes (6 October 2005):
Don't even think about accepting a proposal after just six months with this guy - especially as you are still young. I think you already know it would be a mistake - you wouldn't have written this letter otherwise.
A couple of friends of mine made this mistake. He was joining the army so they married. They were both 18. The last time I saw them, when he was on leave, I have never seen a more miserable couple. She's fed up, looked a mess and he flirted with anything in a skirt. I heard through the grapevine that they divorced 6 months later - at the grand old age of 21!
If your love is strong enough it'll last. If not, cut your losses, put it down to another experience, get out there and enjoy life.
Good Luck
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reader, TRUITY +, writes (5 October 2005):
If your not sure - then dont do it...that simple, extend your engagement, its not the end of the world!
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reader, pops +, writes (5 October 2005):
6 months is not long enough to get to know someone well enough to decide to marry them. Yes, there are exceptions. There is an old rule to follow: When in doubt, DON'T ! Don't get married. He will go through some changes in basic training, and will be more mature than he was before he went. And this will happen in a few months time. When he completes basic, he will go on to advanced training, which will take him away from his family for longer periods. It is a very stressful time. He doesn't need the stress of trying to make a new marriage work at the same time, and you don't need that either. Tell him you want to wait until he finishes his training, and decides where he is going, and if he still wants you along for the ride.
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