A
female
age
30-35,
*outhernBelle
writes:Okay so I have a dillema that I'm having trouble on how to handle. I've been with my boyfriend for going on nine months now. The issue isn't with my boyfriend its with his family. He has cousins all younger than we are and for some reason they find it necessary to disrespect me. Its been ongoing for our whole relationship but even worse here lately. Every family get together we have they proceed to call me names such as wide load etc. and not to mention pick on my boyfriend. We were at a family cookout / pool party last weekend where as usual they started to call me names. I'd had enough of being disrespected and watching my boyfriend get so upset because his own family picks on him and I stood up for myself and for my boyfriend. Now its gotten ten times worse to where they are all using myspace and leaving each other comments talking bad about me and saying things like me dating my boyfriend is a waste of time etc. I'm at a wits end of what to do. I don't want to go confronting young teenagers and starting unnecessary problems but on the same token this disrespect has to stop. Any advice or suggestions?
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female
reader, SouthernBelle +, writes (27 June 2008):
SouthernBelle is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the advice everybody. He doesn't live with his family so its not a necessary thing I go to the family get togethers. I went to them in the first place because I love my boyfriend and it just seemed like the right thing to do. Getting to know his family and all. I mean I've just about had it with these immature teenagers all talking amongst themselves about me and my boyfriend. I don't know if they pick on him because he never stands up for himself or what but regardless the reason it shouldn't be happening. I mean I was kind of harsh when I stood up for myself but in the end it made it ten times worse. I am the type of person who is extremely respectful and I think I should be respected in return so its driving me insane.
A
female
reader, Vertigo  +, writes (27 June 2008):
My advice to you - Ignore the brats.
You haven't done anything for them to be so nasty towards you. But again, the more you retaliate, the more stubborn and resistant they'd get.
I wonder why your bf lets them pick on him, but maybe it's a family thing. But if the kids are so spoilt, avoid them. Confrontation will only make them more mule-headed and youngsters these days are pretty impossible sometimes... Treat them just as they are - Kids. Just don't let them bully you by name-calling; juvenile stuff like this shouldn't be getting to you at all.
Remain your mature, sensible self and hold your ground. Maybe they'd learn to shut up in time.
Love n luck
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A
male
reader, Marco262 +, writes (27 June 2008):
Well, for starters, you should stop meeting with his family. If they're disrespecting him as well, neither of you should really have any reason to spend time with them. Even if he's living with them, insist on only meeting with him in places where his family isn't. From your age bracket, I assume you're old enough that this isn't going to be a huge problem. Invite him over to your place, even.
You have absolutely no power over these kids, and so the only control you have in this situation is making sure that you're never in the same place that they are.
As for the Myspace problem, I'm going to give you advice I give everyone else: Get the hell off of Myspace. I'm sorry if this seems overly belligerent, but Myspace is a spawning ground for teenage drama and juvenile namecalling. As you've seen, it's starting to cause you problems just because some idiot teenagers don't like you.
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A
male
reader, no_issues +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Take a stick to their backsides. That's what my daddy used to do and it learned me respect in no time. Or at least taught me to stay out of arm's reach.
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A
male
reader, dave5678 +, writes (27 June 2008):
Write that family off... If you and your boyfriend are really doing great together when not around his family maybe you should just avoid them. Maybe start your own get togethers with friends and your family. Doesn't sound like something you should keep putting yourself in the middle of by going to these get-togethers. Good on you for standing up for yourself. It sounds like he never has and thats why it will most likely always continue.
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A
female
reader, sex-slave +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Best advise is to not react to what they say once they stop upsetting you both then eventually it stops in normal cases. People like that won't always stick to a pattern but, yeah... They sound like they wpn't no matter what ingnore the best you can it may or may not stop but hey idiots and ect, like to make fun of thier betters because they won't have or ever be like you or you bf standing up for your self can make things be harsher... sorry you have such a bad time... I can relate sorta...
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