A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need other people's opinion on this situation.My boyfriend and I live in his room sharing a flat with his flatmate. I knew that a girl who he had sex with 5 months ago, was coming to our small city. She needed a place to stay for one night because she arrived at night and wouldn't be able to get the key to her flat this late. My boyfriend agreed that it would be weird for her to stay with us and promised to find another way to help her. He was helping her because he is A. kind B. she helped him bringing some stuff from his hometown so he had to return the favour. He asked me to come along to pick her up from the station which we did. She didn't strike me as a nice person. She kept on saying how she didn't want to stay at a hotel (even though my boyfriend offered to pay for it) and wanted to stay at his place even though I was there. Rude? I thought it was really annoying.Also, here's a terrible fact: at the time they hooked up, my boyfriend left his girlfriend of 2 years only a couple of months before. And this girl he slept with was his ex-girlfriend's friend. So I feel like they both betrayed his ex-girlfriend who was still very much in love with him. Well, the girl definitely did betray her friend. How can you be so insensitive? Sleeping with your friend's ex boyfriend who she is not over yet? Kinda wrong.So we finally found her another place to stay. But when we got home my boyfriend said that he felt horrible for not letting her stay with us and introducing her to our friends since she doesn't know anyone in town.I felt really hurt at these words. I was disgusted by her all along, by her behaviour. And we did help her (met her at the station, he carried her luggage, found her a place, introduced her to her new roommate). What do you guys think? Am I exaggerating here? I have never been jealous although I met a lot of his ex girlfriends and even ex-crushes. They all seemed like wonderful girls who I made friends with. But this girl just made me cringe.
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ex girlfriend, flatmate, his ex, jealous, roommate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, desiree075  +, writes (5 October 2013):
I think that when you visit a town/city/anywhere, you are responsible for where you stay, and no one is obligated to offer you their place. I am visiting Toronto in a few weeks for some business, and even then I asked my best friend if I can stay at her place. I didn't assume. From what you say, it sounds like she thought it was your responsibility to host her. Your boyfriend even offered to pay for a hotel room. Wow! Your boyfriend may feel bad about not letting her stay at his place, but it's your place too, and you have every say in this.
A
female
reader, :)31215  +, writes (14 September 2013):
 You answered the question about why your boyfriend said that yourself... he is kind. He feels bad because on some level he is trying to please this girl. She has said she wants to stop with him but because he is uncomfortable, he said no. He is merely saying he feels bad, not that he's going to go back, collect her and bring her into your home!
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (14 September 2013):
You didn't give a lot of information about what she said/Di that bothered you, so to be completely honest with you, you kind of sound like you have a grudge against her for some reason.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (14 September 2013):
 It's hard to know why your boyfriend felt "horrible" about not letting her stay with you. Perhaps as you say, if she brought some things for him from his hometown (stuff he'd left behind, perhaps, or were they gifts??)
Be that as it may, you and he did help her by meeting her on arrival, finding a place for her to stay and introducing her to her new roommate. That is no small amount of assistance!
The point is, now she's in town will she expect/want to socialize with you and her ex? If so, how will you and he handle it? It would be good to talk this possibility over before it comes up so that you'll be on the same page as to what to do.
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