A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i've been in an relationship since October 2009. I'm white, and my boyfriend is from Bangladesh. I love him deeply, he's the most amazing person I have ever met, he always makes me laugh,he's so sweet and kind it's almost unbelievable. but i have some underline issues one is he told me not to tell his uncle and his uncle wife about us even though im very friendly with them and go to there house quite a lot (i say that but have my suspicion they no something) !! he lives with them to. He been over here since 1984 he works in his uncle restaurant so i only manage to get to seem once a week on his day off as he work day and night. he brought me a costume ring for Christmas and some perfume for valentine day. i even went around there on eid murbarak and they brought me some of there clothes to wear.His Sister in law is having a baby and she only told me in the beginning and her sister her children have only just found out she is now 6 months its nice she told me and has respect for me. However the other night i was around there and we went in the other room with her and her husband i thought here we go !!!and she said that she worried sick about her eldest son who is courting a white girl she said she didn't mind that !! its the fact she not going to college and its affecting her sons studying as he not doing any revision plus he only 17??? however it put me in situation as she doesn't know i seeing her cousin who is 28! lucky the door bell went so we stop the conversation. so why are they discussing this with me. Over the last couple weeks my boyfriend has become a bit distant but unsure why he was phoning me in the middle of the night and coming around after he finished work but have not heard anything for a week do i text him or leave him until he contacts me ??
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 This is very difficult. It sounds as if your boyfriend's aunt and uncle probably do have some idea that you and he are dating.
It's also quite possible that his sister-in-law was talking to you about her concerns over her eldest son dating a white girl, as a way of letting you know that she knows you and her cousin are dating (whether or not her son IS in fact dating a white girl who is not going to university - does that sound like you, by the way?)
I hope you do realize that if you and your boyfriend were to marry, there would be a tremendous amount of pressure on you to convert to become a Muslim? If you did, your life would be quite different to what it is now. In many Muslim societies (including ones in the U.K.) Muslim women's freedom of where they can go, how they can dress is quite restricted. Would you be able to put up with that? Muslims are expected to marry other Muslims.
Your boyfriend may well be feeling pressure from his relatives and not sure how to approach you. That could account for his being distant. You need to have a frank talk with him about what's going on, and then make a decision as to whether you want to continue in the relationship, or cut ties........good luck!
A
male
reader, RyanS +, writes (20 May 2010):
 if you like the guy and he is nice with you, don't bring ego in communication. its not a power struggle. never hesitate to contact and re-contact if needed. cheers!
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