A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend watches porn when i am asleep! i feel like i am not good enough for him or i am not satisfying him. i feel like i cant be as good as porn stars so he will want to finish me!! please help!!
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male
reader, Lenah  +, writes (2 May 2011):
Just talk to him , girl!!!! you never know untill you ask your man!!!
A
female
reader, herewegoagain  +, writes (15 April 2009):
same thing has happened to me...I had always known my BF watches porn, but never to the extent that I found it. I feel its true that most guys watch it, however there is a time and place for everything. When he's alone, it his time, but if your in the next room, its completely unnecessary. I talked to him about it to understand the reasoning behind it....he says it was not because he was feeling "frisky" or "horny", he basically just watched it to watch it. Something would make me feel better if it WAS because he felt frisky, because why else are you watching it? This is what's strange.. I would love to read a guys response on this question
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A
female
reader, CandyCakes +, writes (24 February 2009):
See, him watching porn can be a result of many things. Since you're sleeping, he might not want to wake you up to satisfy his sexual needs. It's true he might be unsatisfied with your sex life. He might also have embarrassing kinks that he doesn't want to tell you, so he lives them out through porn. Some guys are just into porn, it's their pastime.
For me, my boyfriend watches porn because I can't be there to satisfy him 24/7. I try my best to wipe him out when I do have time with him though, so he watches porn a whole lot less. Some guys might watch porn because they think the girls are hot and want to fantasize about them. Others, like my boyfriend, simply because boobies are hot. Honestly, there are few men who actively want to sleep with porn stars. Sluts are attractive in theory, but no one wants to date one.
Really, you wont know until you talk to him. Talking with your boyfriend is very important. The sooner the better before this becomes a major problem.
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A
female
reader, scogem08 +, writes (8 January 2009):
 I've lost count of how many times i've seen women posting about this issue! I myself live with my boyfriend of 3 years and I know for a fact that he watches porn, however I also know that he loves me. I've talked to him about porn in many a jovial conversation and its 100% clear that its just fantasy. It does not bother me at ALL. I have some advice for anyone who is insecure about their partner indulging in porn. I'm not sure if most insecure women find the "going behind their back" aspect of the porn watching, the most hurtful part? Would you rather your man loudly heralded his intention of going for a perusal of porn!? I've often wondered what the partners out there would do if they knew us ladies sometimes watch porn. Chances are the men would feel just as insecure. These porn stars with a 2837 inch penis, its bound to make any man feel a bit....inferior! During my period, i rarely feel like doing ANYTHING sexual, so I don't expect my boyfriend to sit twiddling his thumbs for a week. At least he'll be using the fantastically absurd world of porn as a release instead of swanning off with some real life hussy!If all else fails, try watching some porn and see what all the fuss is about. You'll get a laugh if nothing else :D
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female
reader, IGetIt +, writes (20 November 2008):
Hey Nooki, here we go again--it's the nagging girlfriend that is the problem! Of course. All we can think about are the ways we can control our men. Did you read the original post? He is leaving THEIR bed to whack off to images of other women. It's secrective. We don't know how frequent his behavior is, but it certainly is causing her pain. Maybe her pain is the point, not her nagging.
To any woman who is pain over this issue--if anyone responds like Nooki and accuses you of being a nag or otherwise tries to insult you, take a hike. There have been enough sympathetic men on these posts for you all to feel confident that there are guys who get it. And even if you don't happen to meet one, you're better off on your own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Well, the first boyfriend I ever had looked and watched porn, I didn't like it at first.
Until that is, I watched it with him and we learned from it. Different sexual positions,role play idea's...so on.
& Everybody know's that porno stars have nice bodies, but they are not perfect. If that is so, then there would not different looking female's. They would all look the same. They are not perfect sweetie, some of them have huge aeriola's & some of them have tiny ones, vagina lip's...etc!
you get the picture...and if your man is with you and comfortable enough to want you to watch porn with him that should be enough. If you love him, you won't get mad or leave him for something so natural. Most men masterbate, what do you think they masterbate to? HELLO, PORN! Try sending him some naughty picture's of yourself (if you trust him not to sell them or forward them to his friends), his porn will start collecting dust! just watch! ;)
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A
male
reader, Nooki  +, writes (5 October 2008):
In my opinion, masturbating to porn is absolutely normal for guys in relationships. The only problem would be if this desire to look at porn became an obsession, and it interferred with his day to day life (quit his job, stopped having sex with you, etc.). I would say having sex twice a week with your girlfriend is an average number. If he only wanted sex twice a month, but looked at porn everyday...that would be a problem. If he's having sex with you twice a week, you need to give him his privacy and space and let guys do what they do. Guys masturbating to themselves is just as normal as a woman having her period. For the guy with the problem of the nagging girlfriend about this issue, I would question whether this girlfriend is trying to control you, whether there she is extremely jealous (jealous of the online porn!), and whether you should stay together with this person in the long run if she's going into the garbage cans sniffing your jerk off rags...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Hi,
That has happened to me with my boyfriend aswell. I was going through an abortion after a stupid drunken night with unprotected sex and I found out he was watching alot of porn. It was the hardest thing for me to have to do, emotionally and physically. After the abortion I could not have sex three weeks after and so he resorted to watching porn or forcing me to have anal sex with him. Its not right. I suggested we go on a break now cuz its disrespecful and it shows how important his sexual need is. My health should come first.
For him to watch porn when you are asleep is totally unexceptable. Talk about it and if he continues, ditch him and find someone who loves you just the way you are.
Goodluck hun x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Hi, That has happened to me with my boyfriend aswell. I was going through an abortion after a stupid drunken night with unprotected sex and I found out he was watching alot of porn. It was the hardest thing for me to have to do, emotionally and physically. After the abortion I could not have sex three weeks after and so he resorted to watching porn or forcing me to have anal sex with him. Its not right. I suggested we go on a break now cuz its disrespecful and it shows how important his sexual need is. My health should come first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): I know how you feel on this onw my boyfriend did the same thing. You need to talk to him and set down the rules. If he doesnt like it kick his butt to the curb
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): well maybe ur man doenst know what he has and will not realize until soemthing drastic happnens...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): hay hunny
dont worry all men do it.
ita natrel so dont worry.
ok bye
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (3 June 2007):
 This has actually happened to me once. My boyfriend came to stay at my place, and often used my laptop late at night. After I fell asleep, he would watch some porn online. I have no idea whether he was masturbating to it or not.
The way I dealt with this (I discovered from the history on my computer) was to confront him directly and tell him how much it hurt me. Give him a chance to explain or repent. Any boy worth his time would apologise for hurting you.
If he doesn't seem to care about how his actions hurt you then, maybe you should consider giving him the boot.
Good luck & Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): Sorry but the female who posts she watches it with her bf is a twit. Obviously she doesnt care less that it exploits women, represents them unrealistically and basically proves that her bf is at least interested in other women naked...Hmmm yeah sounds like a recipe for romance and resepct doesnt it.
Look he is degrading you and disrespecting you...why lower yourself to his level by watching it with him...I can almost garantee all the females will be flawless females and the men will be fat 40yr olds....so much equality in porn...
Really think about whether you want to be with a guy who has no respect for women ...or you!
PS There has been a lot of research being done recently (links on here already) about how even mild exposure to porn causes most men to find their partners less attractive...ironic isnt it, that all those ladies watching porn with their partners are actually encourageing him to find her less attractive...all she sees is his increased desire for sex after porn but does she stop to think that it is more just the sexual release he wants than HER...she becomes nothing more than a sperm recepticle for him...and I would bet my last dollar that any man whos into porn would choose a porn star over their partner IN A FLASH..The fact he's getting off to these women should prove that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): I watch it with my boyfriend, and he likes that! It's not that you aren't "good enough". But I honestly wouldn't let this get to you. Atleast he is watching porn next to you rather than making his own porn with someone else. Talk to him about it, and see what he says. Maybe you should concider spicing up the relationship. It helped me and my boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): first of all hes doing it when ur asleep not to affend u or he may be ashamed... my boyfriend whatches porn its a guys thing its not about u not been good enough love im sure u are, its the whole watching 2 other ppl have sex that turns em on! try not to worry hun....
when i found out my fella watched it i was so upset... but then i sat him down and asked him why and he explained what he liked about it... then we watched one together and it made me feel so much better hun... try talk 2 him..
luv me xxx
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (2 June 2007):
 I know that this may sound far-fetched but have you ever watched it with him? A lot of my friends have great relationships, and all of them watch porn together. They tell me that they get ideas for how to please each other. Maybe your boyfriend either isn't feeling satisfied, or he's trying to find more ways to please you. He may watch it when you're asleep, because he might be afraid that you might not respect his possible inexperience. On the other hand, if he's experienced, and you guys have sex often, this should be a problem.
DV1
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