A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The other day my bf woke me to have sex. We did it and it was very good and after we both took a nap. When we woke I needed to run to the store for a few things. When I came back I noticed the bed comforter was pushed all the way to my side. He masturbate with this thing called a Flesh-Light. It's basically a flashlight with a rubber vagina in the middle. He knows I'm bothered by him using it and tells me all the time that it's to help him "last longer". After he left for work I looked at the flesh light and knew he used it. Immediately I felt like crap, thinking that once again I didn't satisfy him or he used his toy and watched porn when I was gone. When I asked him if our sex was good he said yes and immediately asked why. When I mentioned that I knew he used it he got mad at me cause we have been down this road before. I feel replaced when I know he uses that toy and just wish he could use his hand like normal guys do. Help!! I don't know how to feel about this. Am I being replaced or just being insecure??
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insecure, porn, sex toy, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): If he answered your question with a "yeah, why?", it means he meant it. If he just answers with a "yeah", he's probably lying.
A
female
reader, gls9867 +, writes (15 February 2011):
well your obviously not very good, look up some new moves, and then rock his world.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): TO "mermaidlove" i didnt know EVERYONE used their HAND. Most women i have known use vibrators. Also in my 20s I wasnt satisfied without 2-6 orgasms a day today im good with 1 every other day 45 yrs old. Make sure you are willing to satisfy him yourself before you complain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Guys jerk off, a lot, even when we're in relationships. One has nothing to do with the other. It's just what we do. Disgusting, but we're dudes. Now if he's getting off with someone else besides you and his right hand, then worry. Guys sex drive is usually greater than women, and sometimes we need just an extra or quick load dump. It's ok, really.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Help him. Don't be baggage and help him get off. He probably really wants you to. Hold the toy for him and say naughty things to him. He'll love it.
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A
female
reader, missm83 +, writes (12 February 2011):
 Did you ever think that maybe YOU turn him on soo much that he it takes a long time for him to get back to his normal state?... maybe hes afraid that if he asked for more sex or oral he will feel selfish and you may think that all he ever wants is sex??... talk to him... but my opinion let him do what he needs to do as long as its not way over the top. maybe tell him to do it in the shower, or make sure when hes done to put away the toys. Dont worry to much, if the sex wasn't good i think he would let you know, men will def let you know one way or another if the sex was bad.
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A
male
reader, mb129 +, writes (12 February 2011):
I think it is a good sign that he answered you truthfully. He probably just assumed from past experience perhaps, that you wouldn't be interested in doing it again. If you would have been you should tell him so that he can ask you next time. But this is probably better than him remaining unsatisfied based on his higher libido.
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A
male
reader, Furry Wall +, writes (12 February 2011):
Don't sweat it
its normal for a guy to masterbate
your are not being replace
you might have heard this a million times but you are being insecure
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A
male
reader, Mr Husband  +, writes (12 February 2011):
I can understand that you might feel a little insecure, but there is no serious cause for concern. Maybe he shouldn't have been quite so obvious in front if you, but as others have said he's taking care if his own needs rather than pestering you or going elsewhere.I bought one of the exact same toys what my wife was pregnant a few years back so I wouldn't be making a nuisance of myself whilst she was in some serious discomfort. She found the toy months later and was quite upset;until I told her why I'd bought and used it.As for masturbating after sex; been caught doing that too. We'd gone for a weekend break to just be ourselves, rather than responsible parents for the weekend. The sex on the first evening was fantastic, mind blowingly good. I'd awoken re-aroused at the thought of what we'd done earlier and took myself off to the hotel bathroom to take care of myself. She told me she felt slighted, that she hadn't been enough for me the following morning. On the contrary, she was so good that I had to get myself off again just by merely thinking about her and what we'd done.Your other half's activities just might be a compliment in disguise.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): It doesn't mean you didn't satisfy him, it means the opposite! The sex was so good that he probably got horny thinking of it while you were gone.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (12 February 2011):
You are being insecure. Would it really be different to you if he used his hand? Do you think that because it looks and feels kind of like a vagina, it takes the place of a woman? Don't be ridiculous. And don't tell your boyfriend what not to do with his own dick. That's a surefire way to get him to leave you, and rightly so.
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