A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a bit of a problem with my boyfriend. He constantly doesn't do things i ask of him.For e.g He will call me chubby (like a pet name as such) and i tell him i dont like it, its offensive and it's putting me down (i'm not chubby at all, but i have a big bum that he always points out that i dont like).He keeps pinching my nipples when i've told him a thousand times i hate it. Im so paranoid that he'll do it that i dont like him touching my breasts. but he continuously does it. I feel disrespected that he wont stop. He constantly slaps my ass, very hard and sore and calls it chubby again. It's sore and i hate it and i tell him not to. I'm so frustrated with him and he won't listen to me.I spoke to my work colleagues and my boss said when he dated his first girlfriend he acted that way and he learned the hard way. He says its a maturity thing.I ask him:Why do you do it when i tell you not to?How do you think you are as a boyfriend?Do you think it's a maturity thing, because i'm your first?Do you think i'm wrong in shouting at you for this?and he always replys with ' i dont know, i dont have an answer'. How can you not have an answer? at least for, do you think i'm wrong? surely he either has a negative feeling towards it or a positive.My boss says i need to be horrible to him and just leave him too it. Take a break and he'll see where hes went wrong. Start hanging out with other people and make him jeleous.I cant do that though, i love him so much it's hard for me to be away from him. I dont feel like i have a purpose or an aim when im not with him. I know it would be a good thing to take a break, but it just hurts me so much. He doesnt seem to care when im not there anyway. He never texts me or calls me when im not around. I dont think a break would work, but what else can i do? I've shouted at him, i've threatend to leave. I'm now hitting him back. I'm reverting to calling him names when he does things and calls me chubby and he just takes it all in jest like im a joke and will continue to do what he does. I'm getting angrier and angrier at him and i get more frustrated. I'm scared this will turn into an abusive relationship where i'll hit him hard or something because he is getting me so mad. Right now i run to the bedroom, but he follows me and apologises with a baby voice and hugs me (which doesn't sound very sincere if you know what i mean).I don't know what to do. I can't really even split up with him because we are in the same class at university and it would be very very difficult for us to be separated then. I would be very upset and to see him everyday would be a living nightmare. I love him so much.. i dont want to leave him. I just want him to start giving me some respect and listening to me.
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a break, breasts, my boss, nipples, split up, text, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2009): He is disrespectful towards you? He seems not to care when you're not around? Excuse me, but what has he done that deserves your undying love?There are so many guys out there who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated so, please, leave him.
A
female
reader, bitch  +, writes (18 October 2009):
oh my gosh, this sounds like my exhusband. Does anything get through to these men? I mean if you tell him this bothers you, he should stop doing it if he respects your feelings, don't you think? That is one thing that really drove me crazy with my ex, he would always slap my as so hard it hurt, and then laugh when i said I didn't like it and tell me I DID LIKE IT. What a jerk I thought to myself! I know how you feel. I really do. He needs to listen to you. He needs to take you seriously. I am divorced now and i wish my ex would have taken me more seriously because he drove me nuts.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (18 October 2009):
 Your boyfriend doesn't respect you in the slightest.
You have to stop sinking to his level. No physical or verbal abuse, because that is wrong. What you need to do is start respecting yourself. If he hits you or calls you names again, you walk the heck away from this loser. He isn't good enough for you and you deserve a man who treats you well.
Hopefully once he does lose you for good he will wise up. Right now he knows that he can treat you any old kind of way and you will accept it. Why should he straighten up? He has no reason!
You do have a purpose in life, and you can do better. You need to give yourself a break here. You are a smart young lady and not some piece of meat who needs a man! Don't hold yourself back from the real greatness that's right around the corner! Believe in yourself and the wonderful person that you are. You deserve the best!
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 October 2009):
Young lady, this guy is abusing you and using you and hurting you because he knows you're wrapped around his little finger at the moment (you make the threat that you will leave, then don't). This can be resolved. Think about all that he does. Then realize that you can do better and that you want to and should do better. A guy who treats his girlfriend this way doesn't love her at all and doesn't desreve her. He is not worthy of you at all. So be brave, dump him, give yourself plenty of time to heal and find a real man, not this tin can man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): hun. if you don't like how hes treating you then you should sit down and have a real conversation with him. Tell him what you don't like and that you really do like him and want to stay together .BUT that you're not afraid to go if he doesn't want to change for you.
if he really does like you he'll change.
DON'T be afraid to tell someone if he starts to really hurt you.
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