A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf gets upset easily and accuses me of being with other men. I went to a friends house and he got very upset and started saying I was with another man. Idk why he gets so jealous because I made it very clear he’s the only one I am interested in . Do you think he will get over this as the relationship continues?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2019): Guys like him are usually the one who is cheating. They throw you off-guard by keeping you on pins and needles; or forever trying to prove you're not cheating.
You're too distracted by his drama, attempting to convince him that you're innocent; to realize he's screwing anything he can get his scroungy-hands on! Men like this are controlling, and will isolate you from family and friends; attempting to prove to him you're being faithful. He owns you and treats you like his property. You think this is love, right?
Will any of our advice actually mean anything to you? We are usually cancelled-out by the the popular disclaimer: "But I love him!"
He's a bad-boyfriend!!! The jealous-type! Bad-boyfriends are disposable, like trash! You don't try to change them, or cater to their crazy-ways! They are usually narcissistic, aggressive, verbally-abusive, and often violent! They get progressively worse! Has he hit you or choked you yet? Just a matter of time! Meanwhile, he holds you emotional-hostage; always telling him where you are, and accounting for your time! Your friends are probably worried about you! You might hide the fact he's like this!
Do your parents like him? Not usually, they can usually pick-up on the bad-vibe from guys like him; so you'll deliberately minimize any contact between them. He probably makes sure you have little to do with them anyway! If you come from a dysfunctional family-background; that might explain why you're with a guy like this. Otherwise, good parents would have warned you off him!
Jealousy is aggression, and an excuse to victimize or control you!
You don't keep men like that! YOU GET RID OF THEM, AND STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM THEM AS YOU CAN! It's a dealbreaker! They are potentially dangerous!
You do not tame them with "your" love! Instead, they use your love as a means to manipulate you! They consider you too stupid to know any better.
Constantly reassuring him, always begging for him to believe you; and always afraid he is going to lose his temper! Yet he always loses his temper with you!
You won't leave him, so deal with it. I hope you'll decide to get-away from him instead! You can't change him! Just watch him get worse!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2019): OP, you are with a manipulator. I guarantee that his jealousy will only increase, and in order to pacify him, you will have to give up friends, family, events, your vehicle, and your telephone etc. This man has such an inferiority complex, that he sees everything and everybody, as a threat to his security! His thinking is irrational and it will get worse and worse! Get away from this man NOW! I wish that I could tell you how many of these cases that I have dealt with, in a very long law enforcement career. Usually abussive violence will ensue, and the longer you wait to make the break, the more likely that this type of man will end up stalking you! This is beyond a red flag! This should be seen as a black flag: meaning do not proceed! Best wishes for you OP!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (9 December 2019):
 As others have already said, this will get worse over time. He will stop you seeing your friends and your family and isolate you completely. Then the abuse will start.
It's strange but true that people who accuse others of cheating are very often the ones who are the cheaters. He is probably up to no good himself so assumes you are too.
Get out before this gets worse. Seriously.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (9 December 2019):
 Trust is the STUFF that relationships are made of. Without Trust, you don't have much of a relationship.
Making continuous accusations is an abusive behavior. Getting very upset is abusive behavior.
Many people who are cheating tend to project their poor patterns of behavior on to their innocent partners. Because they know how easily they are getting away with cheating, the think everyone else must be doing it.
People who have been cheated on by past partners are often very afraid of betrayal and are hyper cautious about it. This is a sign that they are still unhealed and not ready for a new relationship. A healthy reaction that is common is that the formerly betrayed partner tends to be more caring and attentive in order to be the best partner available.
That is a lot of reply to a short post. The important part is: if you don't feel happy in the relationship, it's not a good one. You don't sound happy to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2019): Is there ANYTHING you are doing/have done in the past to cause your boyfriend to feel INSECURE or JEALOUS or THREATENED, OP?
There are TWO sides to every story. Your boyfriend isn't here to tell us his side.
People don't just accuse their partners of cheating for no reason at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2019): No, people don't change like that. He's jealous and controlling and that behaviour will only get worse and spill into other areas. This is what we call a RED FLAG. Leave while you still can.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (9 December 2019):
 No it won't get better and tbh it will probably get worse. He could be the type that becomes very controlling and tries to rule your whole life. This is an early red flag and if you are smart you'll end things before it gets worse
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 December 2019):
 Generally? No.
Someone who "thinks" you are cheating simply DO NOT trust you. At all.
It's not jealousy. It's him HOPING that if he accuses you of cheating you will FALL all over yourself trying to PROVE to him that you are not, which might include you NOT hanging out with friend over time. JUST him.
Do you think it's FAIR of a guy to make accusation about YOU cheating JUST because you go see a friend?
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