A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Good day all I need objective opinions please! BF still sends his ex wife a mothers day card and gift card despite divorcing him for a new man, who she resides with. She dumps their daughter on day care and her parents do its not like she is mom of the year. Should I be upset? My ex stopped giving me mothers day gifts out of respect for my bf, which I understand. I'm feeling awkward that maybe he still has feelings her for. I don't want to be caught in a weird love triangle. I also know my bf's last girl didn't like the ex wife stuff either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012):
She doesnt neglect the child cos shes put into daycare, thats what mothers do if they need to work.
As for the Mothers Day Card, its a great gesture that shows maturity on your partners behalf. You should be proud of him for not being bitter and nasty. For respecting his Ex as the Mother of his child.
Its not 2 dozen roses and a Valentines card.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): I dont understand how people think this is normal. If he gives her a card, and a gift card to lets say an amusement park so she can take the kid or a gift card for a kids store, it would be normal.
Seriously, I dont see how that is normal. Maybe an email or a card is fine or something, but sending a gift? no.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): There is nothing wrong with what he is doin,he has a child with her and that's a fact that u can never change!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): He is a decent guy who is doing the right thing. He doesn't need to stop doing what is right by his kids simply because he has a new girlfriend. She is the mother of his child, and he is acknowledging that for his child. My brother does this for his ex, there are no feelings on his part except that he respects the fact she is the mother of his child and that his child's needs come first for him. I am sure that is all it is. I think you are over-reacting here.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 May 2012):
 I also think it shows maturity and class. It doesn't mean he has feelings for her... it's about doing the right thing which is helping your child recognize the mom on Mother's Day.
she is the mother Of his child...
I once sent my dad a card on mother's day that said
"thanks dad without you we wouldn't have mothers day"
think about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): I don't think it's appropriate for him to be doing that. It's perfectly fine for their children to give her a Mothers Day card because she is their mother. But why must HE giver HER a mother's Day card and gift?
It's perfectly fine for him to help his kids select a Mothers Day card and gift for her, again, because she is their mother after all.
But when it's from HIM to her, no. Him and her are not a family any more. Not unless ( if you and him were married) he gave you a similar mother's day card for being the step mother to his kids.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 May 2012):
 If you think about it, he was the one who made her a mom. I get that you might be uncomfortable with the card, and that you are wary about his residual feelings for her. Everyone has their own parenting style and accessing child care and letting the grandparents have time with her doesn't make her a ROTTEN mother, does it?
Do you have something other than his acknowledging and honoring her motherhood to make you feel he's not over her?
How long have they been apart and how long have you been together? Are you feeling a bit sad that the father of your child/ren (?) stopped acknowledging you? Did your boyfriend suggest he should stop?
Have you talked to him about his ex and what you've observed at all?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 May 2012):
 I think it's a classy thing to do.
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 She may not be mother of the year but he still respects the fact that she is the mother of his children. Would you rather the two of them fighting all the time and you having to deal with that.
You can argue respect both ways depending on who you are thinking of. A mother's day gift doesn't mean that he wants to get back together with her, it just means that he still wants her to feel special for being a mom.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 May 2012):
I think that you'll find he does it for his child. That's all. It's not like he's giving her a Valentine's card or anything like that. This is just a gift that reflects the fact she is the mother of his child.
Yes, she left him for another man, yes, she's not mother of the year.
But perhaps he's father of the year for having the nerve to try and do what's best for his child - after all, there's little worse in the world that having warring parents.
I would have thought that if he'd still really loved her or had feelings for her like that, the mother's day card would have been the last thing on the list that he'd have sent.
Unless there is anything else, I'd say that you're making too big a deal of this.
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