A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I've been dating this guy now for about 6 months. He has a child with his ex-girlfriend. He's told me that they've been broken up for over a year, but he's was living with her up until a few months before we met. He swears that he won't go back to her, etc., but he still has the house with her. He goes there almost every weekend. She goes to all of his family events, and I've never been able to go. So okay, then I decide one day to snoop his phone. And, of course, there are texts from her. But this one just gets me, it said, "Let me smell your d and @k." I don't know what to think; I want to say something, but I feel bad that I looked at his phone. But finding something like that makes me want to snoop even more....
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 Maybe his family doesn't invite you to their meetings because they want to avoid problems with the former girlfriend. She will always be the mother of the baby, you know, so they can't simply brush her off. Of course, if you're the girlfriend now, the previous girlfriend, mother and all, should accept that fact, too; and so should the family. But things sometimes don't work as they should.
Your boyfriend also needs the contact with the child, and that means he needs to be in civil terms with the mother, at the very least. However, I'm not sure whether this should mean going to the former home nearly every weekend.
English is not my native tongue, so I need to ask this: By saying that he still has the house with her, you mean that there is still a place the two of them would call home, different from simply a house they still own together? If they still have a shared "home", well, I would worry, too.
Was she the one who wrote the text message, or was it he? If he was the one, this is a huge red flag. If she wrote it, maybe -just maybe- she isn't completely over him and wants him back, which should also concern you, to a point.
Maybe you can update on this. With the information I have, I think I cannot give you a conclusive answer, and I hate that. However, I do think you should be careful.
We're here if you need more help.
A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 did that mean d!ck?? i couldnt quite get it?? talk to him.. u need to let him know it is too late before somethin bad happens.. but chick he does have a child with her and also you both need to have trust within your relationship.. mail me if u wanna talk x x x
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A
female
reader, chunkymunky +, writes (8 July 2007):
 the only way your relationship can survive with him is if you learn to trust him. He has a child with this woman so its hard for him to discontinue contact with her, however i would be a little wary about the texts on his phone. its still early days in your relationship for being invited to family gatherings to dont force yourself in, when he's ready he will invite you. Maybe you should explain how you're feeling a little pushed out at the moment, but dont mention snooping around on his phone because i doubt it will help. I hope i helped a little if any, mail me if you want to chat xxx good luck sweetie, it will all work out in the end
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