A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend says his priority is his drinking, i'm expected to buy all household items, baby items. i'm surprised he gives me half for the babysitter. he recently lent me 30 dollars because i needed to buy OUR daughter a thanksgiving outfit, the holiday weekend isn't over yet, and he's been on my case to pay him back. i feel soo stupid, i know that's wrong, but i need to find a way to make it work. i need to find a way, for him to see he's being selfish for our daughters sake.this is the only problem i have with him, he's good to me, good to the baby, hard worker, makes me laugh, great in bed. plz help i don't want to leave for something so stupid like money.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 December 2008):
Wow he's really really using you.
I know you don't want to leave him but you can't stay with a man who puts alcohol above his children.
Tell him you need him to actually put your relationship and his child above drinking or you will find a real man who provides for his family and not a little spoilt boy.
Then go and visit a friend or your parents for a few days.
Once you have gone he might realise how stupid he is being.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Talk to him, he needs to become responsible. Life is not a fairytale, it is a reality and a child is a responsibility. He needs to grow up and stop being so selfish and immature. If he does not wake up after a calm loving heart to heart talk, you will need to consider your future with this man. Give him an ultimatum, he contributes a certain amount financially or you and your daughter are getting out of his life. Make he choose between his drinking and you and the child. If he select his drinking above you and the child you need to move on with your life without him. Then he is a looser and might realize one day how stupid he was, but unfortunately it might be to late. If he loves you and the child he will get help with his drinking problem and select to be with you and the child. If he loves you and values you he will select you and the child. If not,he is using you to give him a good life and he is making no effort to contribute. You are paying all the bills to keep him in his comfort, let him go on his own and pay his own living. Move on, you will find somebody that will care enough for you to share life with you, to value and respect you. Someone who will not take you for granted.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (1 December 2008):
 Hi Hunny
The first line of your question was..... "my boyfriend says his priority is his drinking"
He prefers to drink than take care of his family needs, He lent you $30 for an outfit for your child, His child!!!!! I don't think that he is being very good to you or your daughter sweetheart not from what your post said.
You said you don't want to leave for something so stupid as money, But the main reason here is the alcohol, He puts it first isn't this why he needs his money? (If I've got any of that wrong I apologies)
I've lived like this before, The most important thing was weekends and getting blasted not me or our child, I had to take so much money out of the house keeping which was £13 a week (hardly enough to get my husbands food (That all he gave it me for) let alone baby things, and save so I could buy our child clothes, If it had not been for my parents I don't no where I would have been to be honest and I didn't go to them they realised what was going on.. Hunny he needs to grow up and take responsibility for you as a family. That $30 was for his daughter I wouldn't give it back, not now I've come along way and learnt the hard way, He is with you and has a child he has to understand its a two way thing and understand this is for his child. And if the drink is more important than you and his child he needs help with this love..if you need a chat message me TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, Bryanz +, writes (1 December 2008):
Okay. Thats the beggining of what my parents have it sounds like.
My mom and dad fight constently, and my dad is very selfish and heartless. He thinks all the money is his and everything is his, but my mom works to. They share bank accounts, but she cant take shit out of it. He only buys stuff he needs.
By the sounds of it, thats what would turn up in you're future. You know, im not trying to sound mean or in-conciderate. But thats what it sounds like, I know. You'd NEVER wanna leave him because of money. But a man who makes his WIFE pay him back for his child. It just isen't right. You're getting treated like shit. But you should decide, you can't count on a computer to decide for you. Ask yourself is he worth it.
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