A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,So I started dating this guy a month ago and I have slept over. It seems he can't get any sleep when I'm in the bed with him. I don't move much nor snore, and I'm able to sleep well. He hasn't had someone in his bed for the past three years until now. To make matters worse, the last guy I dated had the same problem. Is it really me or is it them? What's going on here? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): Actually, I have the same problem your boyfriend has. Its not you. When someone sleeps alone most of the time, it can just be hard to fall asleep with someone else there.
It could be for any number of reasons, none of which may be you. For example, I'm a sprawler... I sleep with my limbs thrown every which way. Not so easy to do with someone else in the bed. Especially if the guy's a cuddler. I can't sleep with someone all wrapped around me.
Or it could be he's afraid of farting in his sleep with you there. Sounds funny, but its the case with me. I know farting is natural and something I can't control, but I just don't want to do it in bed with someone unless we're mighty comfortable with each other.
Now, recently I did buy a king sized bed, and that's made a world of difference in my ability to sleep with my guy, since I can take up as much room as I want and never knock into him. As for the farting, well... when it did happen, I just apoligized for that and he said he didn't notice. I'm sure he's lying about that, but its a good lie, so what the hell.
A
female
reader, lacexoxo22 +, writes (17 December 2008):
 I have the exact same problem with my guy. And honestly, I think it's a lot of reasons. He's hasn't shared his bed in a really long time, he doesn't sleep (1) cause he's trying to have sex every other hour without telling me (2) once he finally is tired and ready to sleep, he'll fall asleep but only for about an hour, off and on.....I think he's to embarrased he'll snore really loud or pass gas or something. I think it's mainly an insecurity of not consciously knowing what you do in your sleep. Their afraid of the unknown. Just talk to him and ask him how you can make it easier for him. Good luck. :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): If I was in bed with a guy like you I would probably kick you too and blame it on Restless leg Syndrome.
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A
male
reader, Cowboy  +, writes (28 October 2008):
My ex girlfriend has a condition which made her kick me violently in her sleep.
I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't just an excuse :oD
Restless leg syndrome I think.
Anyway, sleep deprivation does funny things to a person, in fact I believe it's classed as torture under the Geneva Convention.
I am pretty sure that it contributed to the demise of our relationship. I ended up going to bed hours after she did, because it happened in cycles and I was trying to go to bed during a 'calm' period.
Inevitably, the sex suffered, which didn't help our relationship one little bit.
If you're not doing anything like this, then it sounds like the problem may be with him, but it's hard to know for sure what you're doing in your sleep.
I hope he does get accustomed to it eventually.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 October 2008):
 Maybe you move around more than you think. Maybe he is just used to sleeping alone. Ask him what's keeping him awake. You could get twin beds that push together for fun time and pull apart for sleepy time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): i have to ask is he alcohol dependent? or any substance dependant? did he drink to much caffiene before he went to bed?? there's several different reasons why a person could or could not be able to get to sleep. I've had the same issue with a couple of guys in my experience and at first i did question is my bed not comfortable? or are they uncomfortable? but in reality they need to be able to get their selves to sleep it's not your responsibility. Ususally the substance thing has alot to do with it. But if they are in denial they wont believe it. Also too if you are a christian woman, the spirit of God could be making them uncomfortable.
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A
male
reader, Creative +, writes (28 October 2008):
Hiya. I used to have big problems getting to sleep with someone else in the bed. Only during my current relationship have I been able to work through it and now I can get a good night sleep. But this was a result of spending many a sleepless night! Over time I got used to it. For him, I think practice is the key. The more you sleep together, the easier it will get. He might have to just face that he won't get much sleep for a while. Instead, just spend the time relaxing. The main thing is for him not to get stressed and anxious about it, because it can make it worse! It's probably nothing to do with you. The guy is probably just a very light sleeper. Perhaps he had his own bed and room growing up and got used to the peace and quiet? I would advise having an open and honest chat about it. You can try different strategies to make it easier for him. Get a massive bed! Have him use ear plugs (he might be sensitive to sound)! Have sex before you sleep (to relax)! Just some ideas ... good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I dont know but the guy's a tramp for saying that. its THEM. :)
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