A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have only been going out for about two months. Lately, though, it seems as if every little thing he does annoys me or creeps me out. He's constantly making fun of me and he brings the gift I gave him (a stuffed monkey) weeks ago everyday to school and proceeds to seriously tell people not to look at it.Now, I know some people would say "Just dump him," but I can't. If I were to dump him, I'm scared of what he might do to himself. Recently, I found out that he has liked me for over two years and has even gone out with a girl with the same name as me because he hoped that she would be similar to me. Why he liked me, I have no clue: I'm quiet and usually only speak 5 sentences a day. But, yeah, hopefully you guys get the gist on it. So, any suggestions as to what I might do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 I don't think he'd do anything bad to himself he seems just immature as a lot of guys that age are and that's why he makes fun of you.
Just talk to him and tell him how you're feeling when he does things like that. A lot of guys that age are different with friends than they are with girls on their own there can be massive differences in the way they act. Just talk to him and let him know if it carries on you'll end it because it's not fair and you feel embarrassed.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (22 September 2012):
 I like what Xearo says especially about the monkey. Your bf clearly likes the gift a lot and it is funny that he says not to look at it - he sounds like he is a strong character and knows what he is at rather than being embarrassed or fearful of looking childish or not being the norm as so many boys do at that age. I think he likes you a lot. If you are not in to him just finish it with him - you are not responsible for what he does or doesn't do after that and you cannot be held responsible in any way. Personally I think it is all an act with him and he has no intention of doing anything so please don't worry about that if you want to end it with him. Try and get the monkey back......
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 September 2012):
 You need to talk to him privately and express how his actions made you feel and then break up with him. He is not mature enough for a relationship, and honestly... if you rather take this crap from him then break up, neither are you.
You have to be able to stand up for yourself.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 YouWish is dead on. People who make these threats, veiled or otherwise are relying on your fear and guilt to compel you to do whatever they want. Most people are sheep and will back down when confronted by someone psychologically tougher than themselves. Be that someone.If he has only dropped a few hints then you could drop a few of your own. People who make these threats are a turn off and a drag and you'd kick them to the curb. If his threats are more obvious then do exactly as YouWish suggests. And follow through if it continues. Do NOT get roped into providing explanations. Keep whatever you say brief and very clear. Be calm, confident and unapologetic. People like this are extremely selfish and see compassion as a weakness to be exploited. So don't show any. However bad you feel about being tough with him, don't reveal it.If he's prepared to harm himself, he's also prepared to harm you so tell your family and friends what's been going on. Do NOT isolate yourself under ANY circumstances. Don't break up with him in private. Do it via phone or email.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (22 September 2012):
Well two months is a still a long time for a relationship. Have you asked him why he brings the monkey to school? I think it is weirder that he tells people to not look at it. I actually think it is cool he tells people to not look at it, people at that age tend to judge so fast but I am sure he loves that gift you gave him. He might have some weird issues but you guys are still teens in school so I am sure there are a lot of weird things going on. But who am I to judge what is weird? You said you spoke 5 sentences a day, so that is probably just as weird as what he is doing, lol :P
More importantly, the point I was trying to get at, is that you should just talk to him, in a calm way with a curious nature. This way of communication can maybe help you understand his point of view. And perhaps at the same time you can tell him that you appreciate his loyalty, but he does not have to advertise or parade your gift to him. The relationship is just between the two of you so those matters can be somewhat private.
Also it would be wise to not listen to other teen's opinions from your school about him. I know how a memory can get blown out of proportion through gossip. What they have said have nothing to do with your current relationship. All that matters is if he is good to you are not. You are obviously someone he likes.
TL;DR My advice would be to talk to him. And decide from there before making any decision.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 September 2012):
 You are not responsible for what he might do to himself. That is emotional blackmail if he has hinted that to you.
You need to do what is best for you, and if he does harm to himself, that is on him, not you. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to extricate yourself from him.
If he threatens harm to himself when you break up (i.e. I'll kill myself), then ask him if that's a real threat, and if it is, you're legally bound to call 911 and report him as a danger to himself and others. That usually exposes the emotional blackmail for the bluff it is, and if it's not a bluff, he'll be in the hands of those who can help him anyways.
However, you are not his keeper. If he liked you for 2 years, that has nothing to do with you. It's not a fit, and that's all you need to know.
Time to do the hard thing.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (22 September 2012):
 You're not seriously suggesting that you now need to spend the rest of your life with this idiot? It's his responsibility what he does after you break up with him. If he can't handle break ups, he shouldn't get into a relationship in the first place! He needs to grow up!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 He is immature and silly and is behaving like a 5 year old as far as his actions in school are concerned. As regards dumping him, if you're not happy with him, then you are not obliged to be with him. Let him threaten whatever he wants, you are not responsible for his actions. Just because you are scared of the way someone might act does not mean you put up with their behavior and meekly accept whatever they do. Be strong, put an end to this and break free.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 September 2012):
 hi
First of all you are not responsible for his actions or his threatened actions. Nor for what you think he might do (which may not be on his mind at all)
Secondly he first and foremost must respect you.
Making fun of a gift is immature behaviour.
There are some differences between the two of you. And it is very important that you listen to your intuition.
I understand that you are still building up your confidence level, but you must get the courage to tell him how hurtful his 'show off' behaviour is.
And any time he creeps you out it does not help you to stay silent and meekly accept his nuisance actions and behaviour.
Maybe at home in private in front of a mirror, practice saying:
..... ........(his name) when you do /say/........(his action) that makes me feel disrespected by you and that makes me feel sad. In future I would like you to stop belittling me in front of other people, whether I am present or not. If you cannot respect me on this we may need to have a/big talk about boundaries in our friendship.
You do not need to put up with his disrespectful behaviour, and I can understand why you feel 'creeped out'
What he is doing is unacceptable.
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