A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I suspect that my boyfriend might have added his ex-girlfriend back into his phone, I am not entirely sure. I just have a feeling he might have. Should I just ask him if I can look at it? I don't know if it seems odd. I really hate his ex and he knows how upset I was when she was texting him at night while we were spending time together, and once she tried to get involved in my birthday which was the strangest thing she could have suggested, thank god my bf told her no. An ex is an ex and should stay that way and have no part in the new relationship. That's how I feel. I just hope he really did not start talking to her cause he already knows I don't like it and it's really the only thing I have an issue with.
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female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 Why don't you ask him if he has added her on his phone?
I do feel an ex is an ex and they shouldn't be involved in a new relationship as it can cause complications and things can go wrong especially if the ex is quite crafty and a jealous person.
I'd talk to him about it find out if he has added her the only way you'll know.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 If all you have is a suspicion that he may have added her number to his cell phone, then I say you haven't enough to act on. Dropping hints, asking questions or making any kind of demands will have a negative effect.
At this point, my advice is to keep a lazy eye on the situation.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (22 September 2012):
 This is a tricky one. If he has nothing to hide then he should willingly let you look at his phone but his likely answer is that you don't trust him and will use that as an excuse not to show you. I would not like an ex trying to muscle in - been there and done that- and I have always found if you have a 'feeling' it is normally for a good reason. The thing with this is though, that you can look at his phone, ask outright or whatever but if he wants to keep in touch with her he will and behind your back if you make a fuss. I made an agreement with my hsband many years ago for him to stop contact with a ex and he promised me that he would - fast forward 2 years and I find they have been texting and facebook messaging behind my back. These things eat away at you and they slowly eat away at trust. I would ask him outright if he has been in contact with this lady, listen to the answer and then think very carefully over a few days how you really feel about it and if you can live with the situation if the answer is yes. I feel for you as I know where you are coming from.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (22 September 2012):
Maybe it is something you have an issue with but you should not put your feelings in front of an issue, especially when there is no issue. All you are basing this on is a "feeling". I would agree with looking at your boyfriend's ph if you actually had something to base it on. But I think it would be better to talk to your boyfriend in a calm manner and explain your insecurities with him.
So why are you getting upset? All for nothing. There is nothing to gain. You let this person who is not in your life ruin your mood and thoughts when you should be happy. Dont forget the fact that your boyfriend has not been involving her in his life. She may be an ex, but she is also a person and has feelings just like you, it is not your place to judge her as she had no relation with you. I hope you can find the strength to move on and just be happy.
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