A
female
age
30-35,
*inkylol
writes:My boyfriend of 2 yrs never thinks I am beautiful. But I feel I do look good. And he says that you always need to love a person who will be with you no matter what you look like. He does fantasise about actress but he never cheats on me..I am just depressed and dont know what to do.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 You should be with someone who makes you feel beautiful inside and out. I dunno why you would be with someone for two years if he doesn't find you beautiful. Why is he with you and not someone who looks like the girls who are actresses? Do you feel he is trying to knock your confidence?
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (4 March 2017):
 I don't quite understand what he's saying... but if you find yourself beautiful then that's all that matters to keeping your self-esteem.
If he compares you to actress and says things like why don't you fix your make-up, and hair like her, then you have a problem... because he is in Fantasy Land and must be bought down to Earth.
Why don't you display posters of gorgeous Actors in your home (maybe in the bedroom) and comment on their masculinity?
Alternatively you teach him to acknowledge you respectfully or leave him to his fantasies while you move on.
Take Care - CAA
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2017): life is too short to spend it with a guy who doesn’t believe you are beautiful. get rid. especially if youre depressed and have to talk about his adoration for actresses. that’s not a grown up thing to do, thats just sad
you can do better than him
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 I will tell you what to do. LEAVE HIM. NOW. Before you start believing you are not beautiful. There are plenty of men out there who WILL find you beautiful.
Leave him to his fantasies.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2017): You have been with your boyfriend for two years. Why?
You need him to pay you compliments, but does he treat you with kindness and affection? If he doesn't, why are you still with him?
You can't make people pay you compliments, or they aren't real or sincere. If your boyfriend takes you for granted and under-appreciates your efforts to look good for him; then isn't it about time to decide if he is really the right guy?
Actresses and models are professionally made-up, idolized, and dolled-up images of what people want to look like; not what people actually look like. Not even the actresses themselves want to be seen in public without their makeup. They pay a fortune to preserve their false-image of eternal loveliness. Their vanity and narcissism is all they live for.
Record-scratch!!! Welcome back to reality, girlfriend!
Their beautiful flawless images are professionally-doctored and Photo-shopped, with special lighting, and taken by professional photographers with very expensive cameras. The purpose is to project perfection. Nothing real compares to that. True beauty is the real beauty you see with the naked-eye.
Why have you devoted so much of your time to a man who doesn't make you feel attractive? Then sit around depressed and unhappy because you don't have the courage and strength to just end it; and start dating other men until you find one you feel to be a better match.
Don't sit around waiting for him to change or for someone to give you a magic incantation to change him into what you want him to be. Go find a man who possesses the qualities and character that you feel you need. It will take some time, so enjoy the journey. Dating is supposed to be fun, recreational, and a process of selection. Not a mission or a manhunt. So make it fun, if you decide to ditch the dud you're whining about. Let your beauty be seen through fresh eyes.
Time for some single-independence anyway, if you're sitting around moping and needing validation from some dumb unappreciative jerk.
I'll bet you a big bowl of pearls and rubies, he'll realize how beautiful you really are; when a better man gives you his love and devotion. No one ever appreciates what they've got until it's gone!
Lopsided-love is a waste of time and effort. You don't stay in a relationship where you feel you're making most of the effort, giving all the love, and getting little or nothing back. So what if he doesn't cheat? Is that all you expect from the guy you've loved for two years?
The point is to be good to you and to make you feel he loves and appreciates you. If you don't feel it, you're not getting it!
Take care lovely one!
...............................
|
