A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend never buys me anything!!! When we had been going out for about 2 months, he bought me a birthday present, but didn't even pay for my dinner! We always split EVERYTHING, he never even offers to pay. Which really makes me upset. I havn't brought it up to him though. Should I? He's very much in debt with student loans and lives month to month, week to week on his cheques, so I understand that money isn't something he can just spend all the time. But once in a while? He just never buys me things or spends money on me. He's in debt, yet the other week he bought himself a 220$ shirt! I've bought him dinner and bought him things, so it's not as if I'm not putting any effort in.Should I bring it up? And if so, how?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): You are not the first girl in the world who thinks every one is a jerk just because they don't agree with you.
We are happy that you brought up the subject. I hope boys learned their lesson from this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): My husband never buys me anything either. Hasn't ever really but I buy what I want and he gives me money instead. If its a big deal ask him. I just think your being a little sensitive. Take it easy and maybe hint or ask for something you could really use and maybe he will surprise you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 November 2012):
"All people on this website are jerks' - says the little girl who is having a tantrum because he boyfriend splits everything 50/50....Clever him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionummm i think you all missed when i said the 2 month mark WAS in the past. We've been dating for a year now. But please don't answer this question anymore, I can see that pretty much everyone on this website are jerks.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): let me look at this from a man's point of view.
you are a girlfriend of 2 months. you expect to be treated like a wife. you even act like a suspicious wife and investigate his purchases. you go to public and ask people to judge him.
I ask myself, why should guys spend money on you?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 November 2012):
 You have been going out with him for 2 months and THIS is already and issue for you?
Buying you stuff doesn't mean he LOVES you more. BUYING you stuff doesn't mean he will be faithful.
I do have to say if he INVITED you out for a B-day dinner he should have paid. But I don't believe in "the guy should pay for it all". And what exactly is it that you want him to buy for you?
And seriously STOP buying him things and paying for things if you do it because you expect a tit for tat.
However, if this really bothers you I think you should tell him. He is not a mind reader.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): Hmmm, this question changes from each line.First he splits the bill and buys her a present. Modern man?Next he has serious debts and low income. Greedy woman?Then he buys a very expensive shirt, even women would choke on that amount. Man lying about income?Then she claims that not all bills are in fact split and she buys him stuff more often. Man is a leech?I presume the woman is telling the truth but which truth? Who earns what? Who pays for what meals? What gifts?Fact is that it is rare in a relationship to have both partners truly be equal with regards to money. How much does she earn? Is he skin flint, a cheap bastard or just poor? Does she expect a poor guy to buy her the moon while rakes the money in?What would a reasonable amount of financialminvestment fofr these two peoplle considering they might have very different situations?Figure that out and you know whar bf is like. It dont look good from here but there are so many detaila missing it is impossible to judge.typed on mobile with fat fingers
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): "My boyfriend never buys me anything!!!"
"he bought me a birthday present"
Your logic is flawless haha.
Just talk him and tell him you'd like to be treated to meals etc more often. Try not to make it a strictly money issue. I'm all about 50/50 paying and living but I'll pay sometimes, if she's short on cash or if we're taking her parents to dinner.
I wouldn't be too happy if my girlfriend just up and said I don't buy her anything or don't spend enough money on her, I have no time for materialistic women I'd probably tell her to piss off if I wanted to pay for a woman I'd just go see a prostitute. She wouldn't allow our relationship to become a business transaction anyway, she feels the whole paying for thing is degrading to women who should be independent enough to want to pay for themselves a stupid custom from the time when women had no income of their own and had to rely on men to pay their way in the world. Plus it's the kind of thing ditzy women view as a mark that a man is respectful, likes them and is a good guy.
Tell him you'd like to be treated more often to meals and things. But be careful OP, relationships aren't about money, if it is for you then go find a guy with more wealth who likes to buy people. I just don't get how women can equate paying for things and buying gifts as effort, it's the least amount of effort you can give. It's literally the laziest way to woo a woman, buying her. You do something wrong, buy her a bracelet and shut her up, want to have sex tonight buy her dinner, she'll owe it you. I mean why else buy her dinner, to be nice? Sorry but no guy spends money on a girl like that unless it's score points, easily and cheaply.
I mean what else does a woman who is selling herself for money deserve?
I mean I just spend €60k on an engagement ring for my girlfriend only because that's how much it costs to get her the perfect one I'd pay a grand if there was one that price that was as perfect, she won't be too happy that it costs so much not because we can't afford it, money's not an issue but because it's an embarrassing amount of money to spend on one item just for her in the sense that she knows so many women are going to think I'm amazing just because of the amount of money I spent on her. Call me a keeper and all that shit based on money, when she'd rather I was viewed as great for all the things make me great a person and partner. still though, it's an amazing ring.
Be careful what you wish for OP, if he sees you can be bought he may well just use money and gifts to solve everything.
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female
reader, Fender  +, writes (2 November 2012):
I agree with blonde. Money isn't everything, I really hate when my mate complain when their partner doesn't give thing gifts. Why their materials things. Ask yourself was this the reason I went out with him? cos buy you stuff n spoil u like a princess.? Iif u answer yes then you dont knowv what a relationship is. it wonderful ur helping taking for dinners in buy small thing here n there.it show u care n unstand. Just keep in mind of the male ego n pride. Not many guys feel comfortable with their partners paying for everything it makes the, feel less like a man. To me relationship is about giving not taking. What can u offer her partne how can u help him grow n reach his full potentials. And visa versa he should, be thing what can I do to support
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female
reader, iargwath +, writes (2 November 2012):
 If something is bothering you, then I'd say definitely bring it up with him. There's no use holding in what you're feeling since it'll just become toxic.
I would address this sensitively when telling him that you would appreciate a nice gesture from time to time. The last thing you'd want is for him to act defensively, so I'd be easygoing about it at the beginning just to see how he takes it. It might just be that he isn't aware of how much it means to you.
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