A
female
age
30-35,
*mandanash
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 months. Not very long, I know. We've been friends for about 3 years. We had started hanging out more and more, and eventually I ended up staying over at his house a few nights, and eventually we slept together. Things have been great since. I've met his family, friends etc. We talk every day, see each other a few times a week if we can and what not. He's told me things he's never told anyone in his life, which makes me feel trusted, and I like that. Lately, he's been quite busy, but we havn't slept together for about 3 weeks, which is very abnormal and out of the blue. I try to initiate things by kissing, touching, but I didn't get much back. I even started to have sex with him once, and it just didn't really go anywhere, he got soft. He's very loving when he's with me, kisses me, holding me etc. What's the reason for not sleeping with me in 3 weeks though?Also, is it wrong to ask where he sees the relationship going? I guess I just want to make sure I'm not being used in any way. Sometimes we get together though and just don't talk about much. Talk about the day, talk about people, watch movies, nothing really in depth though.Am I just being paranoid for no reason about our realtionship?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): I think that your boyfriend is just trying to take thongs slow. Perhaps he isn't sure of where you see the relationship going also, and doesn't want to be used. Could be that he isn't sure where the relationship is heading either, and just wants to take it slow so it doesn't ruin the relationship you've had up until now. He could also have ED or be sexually shy (hence becoming soft), Which would cause lots of guys to abstain more than most.
Another possibility is that he simply has a lower sex drive than you do. Maybe he just isn't on the mood. Could be the low drive coupled with stress from work, etc. You could always talk about it. Communication is key to a good relationship. Just be sure to bring it up in a way that won't damage his pride. Try asking like: "I really enjoy being with you. And ever since we started dating, things have been better, but I'd really like to make love/be intimate (sex is too ehh and can sound mechanical, avoid the term) with you more often. It just seems like we don't make love very often lately." Then ask "Is there something wrong?" OR "Is something troubling you?"
How you lead into it is very important. And just know this. I was tje more hesitant one to "fool around" when my gf (now fiancé) and I were i'm high school and started to do things (not sex) even though I initiated the first time. I just wanted to make sure we didn't jump the gun. And we wee also friends for about a year prior to dating. So it could be that as well. You'll be making sweet love to him soon, if it's the same thing I wrestled with at the time. Good luck! =^_^=
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