A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I would just like some opinions on mine and my boyfriends relationship, sorry if this is long and I'm rambling i just wanna make sure I say everything I need to say. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months. We both love each other, but sometimes I have doubts about him. He almost never says I love you, he never buys me anything and sometimes I feel like all he wants is sex. When I try to bring it up to talk to him about my feelings he gets mad saying that he does love me and I should believe him and not always question it. I love him a lot and could very easily picture spending the rest of my life with him but I'm starting to think he does not feel the same. Should I end this or stay with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): You haven't described that much of the relationship but I wonder why you feel it's mostly sexual? Do you spend quality time together doing things besides sex?
I agree with the last response. He doesn't have to spend more than he has, even a homemade gift goes a long way, but he should give you something for birthday/holidays and other occasions. It's part of a normal courtship ritual and men who are serious about a partner do this. I love you goes a long way too.
I would speak to him about it and tell him how you feel again, if he can't meet your needs then maybe it's time to find someone who can.
A
female
reader, Denissia  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 You are young yes,but i disagree with their opinions mainly because you have doubts! its your gut instinct as young as you are.Does he look you in the eye when you speak with him or does he play his videogames while you're with him. He's immature and suddenly he'll pick up another when he is with you or maybe after you who he will give the moon and stars. Dont trust these men,as young as they are,he is either jus enjoying your company and thinks you complain too much or he is immature and using you. You are right in wanting to hear these words,when i was 20 i went thru the exact same thing,an where i am today? Still waiting but i found my love,we are just taking it slow. You see i disagree with the gifts thing,if its your birthday and he doesnt buy anything for you even make an attempt poor or not,he should try,if he doesnt and you see this happening,he is not the one for you. Valentines is coming up,does he celebrate it,start planning stuff even though your gut tells you he is oblivious to wanting to share a special day with u,just start mentioning what you would hope you all can do,of course ask if he celebrates it first and see his reaction or his reply. This is a test.Then make your judgement and accept that he does not appreciate you and you may have to move on. Do you spend a lot of time together? Maybe he has become complacent,does he call you as often as he use to,all these are signs that he doesnt care or is too comfortable to appreciate what you need. I may be wrong but this is my experience,if something is not flowing as true love usually does,he is not the right one to give you happiness and a peace of mind. Start calling your girlfriends and hang out with them without him,you may soon need them. I hope all goes well for you and that i am wrong,take care my young friend.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (19 January 2011):
 The fact that he tells you he loves you after only six months, especially at his age, is more than you could expect from most guys. Seriously, that's very quick on his part; give him some time to get used to it.
Gifts, on the other hand, aren't something that you should be using as a factor for determining the health of the relationship. You're young, he doesn't have a lot of money to spend. The relatinship needs to be based on an emotional connection and shared experiences, not whatever he buys you.
Dirtball was entirely correct about how to discuss it with him. You need to avoid giving him anything to be defensive about.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Many men have trouble expressing their feelings through words. They will instead do it through their actions. Those actions don't need to be gifts. Does he do nice things for you? Does he always try to help you out with problems you have? Those are some of the ways guys show they care without saying it.
When you talk about this, how do you address it? Is it, "It feels like you don't love me?" If so, then yeah, he's going to get defensive and you two won't get anywhere. Instead, tell him you know he loves you, but you want him to tell you he does more often because it means a lot to you to hear those words. That you need that reassurance from him, and because you know he loves you, hou know he will make that effort.
Positive phrasing goes a long way.
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