A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been unable to have sex as I have been finding it really painful. The last time we had sex was 18 months ago. I found out that a medical condition was causing it which is now cured. We have been satisfying each other in other ways which has been amazing. He was very sweet and reassuring at the time when we couldn't have sex, and hadn't pressurised me but now he has gone very distant on me. It has even crossed my mind that maybe he is having an affair as he has been acting out of character lately. A few weeks ago, I was giving him a bj, which he loves, and then I suggested that maybe we try and have sex. I thought he would jump at the chance, but I was shocked when he said 'maybe next time', leapt away from me like a scalded cat, turned away from me and went to sleep. This is really out of character for him as normally he would cuddle up to me. My confidence had been at an all time low anyway because we were unable to have sex and he wasn't even asking me if we could try having sex again but now I feel so rejected and unattractive. He won't talk to me about what is bothering him. He never complains about anything, but had recently said he had been feeling tired. Guys - any idea what is happening here?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (14 March 2011):
 I wonder if he's afraid of hurting you again, or perhaps he's nervous about his performance since it's been awhile since he's had practice.
Something is definitely on his mind. I don't think it is a lack off attraction to you - after all, you did say that he has been enjoying your creative mutual satisfaction.
I'd sit down and talk with him. Tell him you've noticed that he's distant and you just want to make sure everything is okay. Good luck, sweet!
A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 You have not stated what the medical condition was. Maybe he does not understand what it was and needed more information. I was suggest sitting down with him and talking about it. If he did not want you, I dont think he would be allowing you to be any where near him, so it is obvious he is still attracted to you. Talk to him and get leaflets or use the internet to put his mind at rest about your previous condition.
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