A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Oh, I'm desperate! My boyfriend and I have been "together" for almost 9 months now. He decided against coming to school in the town I live, and is interviewing for jobs in his own country- and that's far away! He always told me that he didn't want to stay there, and now he says that it's not so bad now that he's home. He wants me to move there to get my master's.I don't want to go there, I don't like that country. It scares me. I have 2 years til I have to make a decision, really, but it scares me now, and I worry about it. I feel like this is putting a strain on us. I feel a little bit let down.Any advice would be great! I love this guy, and I'd do anything for him, but this is at risk of losing my own family, and moving farther away from them than I've ever been. If he won't live here and I don't want to live there, does that spell the end? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much! I really appreciate the advice and support... He is pretty committed, and wants to make things work... We're just both too stubborn to let it go. I don't think I'd be able to get the words out of my mouth if I wanted to end it, anyway. :P I guess that's what love does to ya.
A
female
reader, Seratuki  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Hmmm...well that is a tough situation...but I wouldn't call it the end over that...what you need to do is compromise...maybe move somewhere between your home and his so you're making equal sacrifice? Or maybe as hard as it is, remain in a long distance relationship...if you truly love eachother things tend to work themselves out...he could always work in his home and save enough to live comfortably until he found a job living with you...something like that...
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had another talk with him, and got through the "communication barrier" - he didnt want to admit it, but he can't afford the school that he would go to here. He wants to be near me, but it's true he can't get work here like he can in his home country. So it makes more sense now, even if it's not easier to deal with.
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A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Hmmm. Sounds like my own case scenario of 'break-up by circumstance'.
I'm sorry what the strain is doing to you, and I understand what that's like. But I must agree with shania. I'm afraid your boyfriend is not doing enough to swing things in your favour, only his. He appears to be only looking out for his own intentions.
You don't want to go to that place. He doesn't want to go to yours. So, I think you are both victims of circumstance here. Circumstances he is not willing to make easier.
I never like to say that it's the end, because you never know what people are capable of, but I will say that things do not look good, and it will take work to make the relationship work. I worry it may be too much for you to handle, and after hearing what little effort your boyfriend has made, it makes me wonder if he is worth the hastle.
Still, the very best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Well it doesn't sound like he is making much sacrifices for you,now is he. Its all what he wants....sounds a bit selfish to me. He doesn't even compromise. So to put it in a nutshell,your not too keen to move....and neither is him,so what does that spell out for you?
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