A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey..I am 19 yrs old girl, having trouble in understanding my bf whom i am dating from almost 2 yrs. He was my best friend and now bf. Things were cool before but now i feel he has changed. We were talking yesterday about our wedding plans when suddenly he shifted all focus over his cute sister-in-law and niece. It was fine for some time but after that he just went on telling me about how cute both girls are..moreover, he told me some intimate scenes that his sister-in-law shared with him. At that time, i told him not to discuss such things with me. Its not wise as i am an outsider. But he stil continued saying he was feeling good to tell me how sweet the couple is..!But instead of talking about his brother, his only focus was his sister-in-law's intimacy with his brother. The point what surprised me the most, was that he always praised her specially and just for a minute, forgets me totally.And, i don't understand why his sister-in-law discussed her personal matters with him that even his brother didnt tell him and that too, details like intimacy. Another thing, he told me yesterday that once his sister-in-law told him that if she had met him before, she would have married him rather than his brother.After hearing this, i lost my patience and we ended up fighting.Am i over reacting? Or i am jealous!Pls help me to understand it. Thanx..:)
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 You're not overreacting and neither are you jealous. I would be concerned too, if i was in your shoes. Its in very bad taste to discuss ones sex life with anyone for that matter..what happens between me and my boyfriend or husband is for just both of us to know, and not to be shared with all and sundry, so I find it concerning that the sister-in-law took such liberties with your boyfriend. Like you said, even his brother hadn't given out any intimate details (and very rightly so!) while his wife was doing it openly!!
Look, your boyfriend is a young man...I'm assuming he's in the 18-21 age bracket as you or maybe a couple of years older. Whatever it is,he probably got carried away listening to the sexual tales and feels special to be singled out by the lady in question...he probably feels..."wow...she must think I can really understand her when she says all these things", and..."oh man...what a sexually liberated woman"!! I'm sure in India the topic of sex is still taboo, so he's really in awe of this lady. Also, she fans his ego...saying things like she wud have married him rather than the brother..your boyfriend wud be feeling on top of the world! No wonder he cant stop gushing about her!
I dont know, I dont get a very good feeling about the sister-in-law here. You need to get this guy to set some boundaries with her. Be very firm about this, tell him that this is not how it works, and he needs to make it very clear to his sister-in-law that he is not the one whom she should discuss personal details with. You need to have a talk with him honey...sort out things before it gets messy.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 October 2010):
Hi there. Does he also have some feelings for her. It seems a bit likely.
- Is he comparing you with her?
- Are you already engaged?
Just make sure he is not having any second thoughts about you and him getting married.
Maybe have a talk with him about it and see what his feelings are about everything.
If he's having any doubts about his future, it's important that it be cleared up and out in the open sooner rather than later.
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