A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is married with some other girl. She doesn't keep him happy in any way. She is arrogant and doesn't respect him. He himself tells me all this. He is 15 years elder than me. We had three years intense relationship. I suggested him to get married. It was really painfull. But since he was very elder so he had to get married. Now i'm very distressed. I can't even imagine him touching some other girl. He also doesn't want but he has no other option. What do i do? I'm so depressed. I can't live without him.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 I'm sorry but you bring this upon yourself. You keep on walking, you don't sit on his bike. Tell him to stay AWAY from you, that you don't love him anymore. You DON'T talk to him on the phone at all!!!
In order to get thru this, you have to have some restraint and discipline. If you keep falling back into his arms every time he says he loves you, then you're never going to get over him.
Life is what you are making it.
I've said my piece, go back and reread it. Then if you take it, good for you. If not then you'll only have yourself to blame when you're stressed out and still in this love triangle because your MARRIED boyfriend has not left his wife. Good luck in life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did the same what you told me. I told him on the phone that i don't want to keep any relation with him . He was with his family at that time. He was taking them to somewhere for a party may be. He dropped them just anywhere, left them there and came to talk to me, and found me on the way. I repeated the same thing again. But he was just repeating one thing that he loves me. I was walking, was not getting any auto to go home. He was on bike. He just forced me to sit with him. I refused but he didn't agree. Finally i sat on his bike. Unfortunately my family members saw me with him. Stopped us and then there was a scene created. Somehow we came back home. He went to his home. And after sometime we talked over the telephone and he said that after this event he loves me more. He is ready to leave his family but not me. How hectic my life has become. I'm not getting any way to get relieved.this is what we call life.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 September 2011):
You're bringing this stress upon yourself. Not to be mean, but your aren't anything his life. At the most you're a mistress. Is that something you want to be? I think not. He IS MARRIED to another woman. He is TAKEN.
You cut off contact, tell him you want nothing more to do with him, and that even though he doesn't respect his marriage, that you do. Tell him you don't ever want to talk to or see him again. Then proceed to NEVER talk or speak to him again. That's how you move on. Have some self respect and discipline for yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 September 2011):
 just because he is 36 does not make him mature.
threating to hurt himself to blackmail you into staying with him is manipulative and immature.
he has an illness... it's mental so you can't really see it but he can hurt you so stay away.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease how do i move on. What do i say to him? I don't want to hurt him.because when i hurt him i become restless so its for me not for him. He is about 36. He is mature. That is the problem i feel that since he is mature he knows this world better than me, he is much more experienced than me. He is very good person, kind hearted and generous and very intelligent. But i'm stressed up with this relationship now. I feel i'm no one in his life and he says i'm everything for him. Please help me
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 September 2011):
Ok that was confusing, don't know where it started and ended.
Whatever, the past is irrelevant. You need to look at present day and what is going on.
He is in an arranged marriage now. Happy or not, I'm sure he has to stick it out to appease him family and country. Unless he can get a divorce, which I don't know if that's frowned upon in your country, then he's stuck. Let him go, he has a new life, which you are not a part of (legally at least).
MOVE ON. That's the only choice you have. If you want to keep galavanting around with him behind his wife's back then go right ahead. But YOU are only stressing yourself out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think half of my story is not published here... So its first part is here... One day in my school a new office member came very handsome, hardworking, diligent. I was quite impressed by him. Someone told me that he is divorced. I started having a soft corner for him since he had no one in his life. One day i had some doubts in maths so i searched for my maths teacher and couldn't find him anywhere. I knew that he is also very good at maths so i went to him with one of my friends. He said we could come at his home to clear there doubts. He didn't have any kind of malice in his heart. He lived in a joint family of about eight nine people.they had a small house.i went to his home alone since my friend refused to go there. First few days i studied there. We started talking a lot. Then one day he held my hand. I could see the pain of loneliness in his eyes. He himself told me his story. He had a girlfriend but his parents forced him to get married and that gf was also saying the same thing. So he did so. But he divorced his wife for his gf. But soon her girlfriend also got married. That day i gave him my contact number
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk lets start again. Then he called me up that day, and we talked. Then he started calling me up everyday. And i started going to his home everyday. Initially we would just sit and talk, but later on we started having intimacy... I would go to meet him in any weather, without caring about anyone. His family members also knew about this. Our relation was running smoothly.one day he said he never had sex so i did that also for him.i was the first girl whom he touched and kissed and loved intimately.i loved him so much that i could give him my everything. But one day we were out in a park together and someone saw us told about this at my home. That day he said our marriage is not possible because of our age difference, because we are from different religion, because i'm in your school... No one would allow us to get married.and if we flee away we won't be able to live happily. So i told him to get married becaus his age was running away. And one day he got married.but then he couldn't get happiness there because his real cause of happiness was missing. I was not there. I went somewhere for two months and he also went for his honeymoon. In this time we didn't talk much since it was inconvenient. So gradually i started forgetting. But again when we met his lost love was awakened again. I was quite stable but he was not. He started pleading me to come into his life again. He started reminding me the olden days.and in all this his wife came to know about this.so his married also quite disturbed. Till now it is disturbed... Sometimes i miss him badly and i even cry but i couldn't call him up because of his wife...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow i'm going to write my whole story from the day one. One day a new office member came to my school... Very handsome, hard working, diligent, but single. He was divorced because he was married to a girl whom he did not love, arranged marriage. I'm very kind at heart when i knew this i started having compassion for him. One day i had some work from my maths teacher but he was not available so i went to him because i knew that he was also very good in maths. One of my friends was also with me.but he was also busy so he said come to my home together and there i'l clear all your queries. But in the evening my friend refused to go with me so i went alone.it was a normal day.then i went there regularly for five days and meanwhile he himself told told me about his divorce and also said that he didn't even touch that new, he so much loved his girlfriend. He was totally alone. Recently his girlfriend was also married to someone else. One day i lied to my parents and went at his home to meet him.that day he held my hands. Then that day i gave him my number and said if you ever need me call me on this number. .... Wait for sometime
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 September 2011):
He's mentally unstable and needs professional help. Please stay away from him, for your own good.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank so much. I'l certainly try to forget him. But the problem is he lives near my home and he is infront of my eyes much of the time. So its very difficult to forget him. Once i stopped talking to him and he went to commit suicide.and he also said i'l leave that new girl.but i stopped him because i knew that it will ruin three people,s life.so i again started this relationship. He says he loves me a lot and he mean it . And i also do. But i can't forget him its really hard. But even then i'l try...
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 September 2011):
I'm almost certain that this is an arranged marriage for him. Not sure if adultery is frowned upon in your country though. Regardless, it's not a good idea to carry on this relationship with a married man. It only gets you hurt in the end. Doesn't hurt him because he gets to have 2 women!!
I'm sorry but he's no longer yours to keep. Let him go and start looking for your future husband.
...............................
A
female
reader, rile962 +, writes (1 September 2011):
You deserve someone who will love you and you alone, someone who is not already married and with children. Please leave him. This man should have known better than to have any relationship with you. Although it's difficult, you can get through this and it would be so much better for you in the long run. Best wishes to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (1 September 2011):
 The fact is he already choose her, Not you. He's married.
Pls don't involved into this.Pls move on. Take care
...............................
|
