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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for just over two years. For the first year we lived near each other and now he lives three hours away. We are both in our thirties. Our problem is this: we argue constantly often times blowing up into huge outrageous fights. He accuses me of having sex with everyone I know and work with; which is untrue. He searches through my belongings and phone every chance he gets. He gets angry if I'm more successful at my job than he is. He takes jewelry or clothing that he deems to sexy. He blows everything I do into a conspiracy or acts as if its a personal attack against him, and has even become physically abusive in the last six months. However he does seem to have realized the huge error of those ways as of late. He says how much he loves me but I don't feel it most of the time anymore. Physically we connect well but mentally and emotionally we seem so far apart. He is not a bad man. He is very successful in the rest of his life but yet when it comes to me he just gets crazy. Others that have been a part of his life for years attest they have never seen him act this way until me. I have tried everything I can think of to encourage his security. However in talking with him he strongly denies being insecure. He refuses to take me out because everything is beneath me etc. etc. He wants me at home raising babies. He doesn't want me to talk to anyone or go anywhere. He doesn't even like it if I wear sandels. I'm at a loss for a solution. Granted my job puts me in the public alot and I do get a lot of "offers" but I don't take anyone up on them and my job is predicated on talking to people. I can't change that. The pain that I'm carrying is horrible and the situation is making me crazy. I love him enough to try anything to help build our life but I can't just give up my own. Will this situation ever rectify itself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, pzeller +, writes (31 December 2005):
 1. Say "goodbye"
2. Don't look back
A
female
reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (29 December 2005):
If he denies being insecure and thinks his behaviour is okay then there isn't a snowmans chance in hell this could work. It will only get worse (trust me I've been there)Its common to be perversely flattered ( ie he loves me soooo much that he's insanely jealous) The truth is that he behaves like this because he has a problem and you can't fix it for him. Leave him and tell him you will only agree to see him again he he takes some councelling with you. If he wont , then just break contact. You are playing a dangerous game that will hurt you emotionally and physically
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (29 December 2005):
 I have one sentence for you! Get rid of him!
If he doesn't want to work on his attitude then why should you try to save your relationship.
You sound like a prisoner in your relationship, do you really want that?
I know it's going to be hard, but it's for your own good.
What if one day he loses his mind and hurts you, then what?
The way i see it is prevention is better than cure.
By the looks of it, it's not going to change anytime soon.
I'm sorry!
Are you sure its not staying with him for a physical reason?
Don't put yourself through this, you deserve more than that!
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