A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice. I have been talking (texting) to this guy who I met through a friend for about a month now. He seems interested in me, but I have been very caution about him. The thing that I hate about him is that if I text him, he doesn't get back to me after a day or two and that annoys me. I have been trying to respond to his text at the same amount of time; but it is hard 'cause I normally respond either right away or a couple of hours after. Anyhow, he texted me wednesday inviting me to go away with him for the weekend. I said sure, I just have to make some arrangement with work. I have been very sick the whole week, and he asked me if I will be okay by the end of the week? I was hoping that I will be better by the end of the week; but I got worse. So, I had to cancel on him last minute 'cause it has been extremely cold outside and this cough is really bad. I was afraid to get pneumonia. Unfortunately, he had made arrangement and I feel horrible for canceling on him last minute. I asked him to call me so I can tell him by phone and not by text but again he never did so I had to text him. I texted him today, apologizing again for the inconvenience; but he never texted me back. I know he takes a lot of time to text back but still......at least to ask how am i feeling? Does this guy even care? Is he upset? Did I do something wrong here?
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 December 2013):
"Does this guy even care? Is he upset? Did I do something wrong here?"
To answer your questions:
1. No
2. No
3. No
Sounds like a d-bag. Drop him for sure.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 December 2013):
 I think there are several things playing into the "what went wrong scenario".
1. I agree, decent manners dictate you CALL and cancel not text.
2. Carrying on a budding relationship via text is dooming it from the get go. IT IS so much easier to misunderstand short and sometimes badly worded texts. It can also seem more impersonal. (IMHO)
3. If you are sick Wednesday you DO not make plans for the week end - specially not for a get away. You do a rain check for the next week end or even wait 2 week-ends. I mean would YOU want to do a romantic getaway with a dude who had tonsillitis (just an example) 3 days earlier? I don't think so.
4. I think because you cancelled LAST minute he think you flaked on him. He took the time to arrange a week-end away and then you cancel. Now maybe HE should have guessed that you wouldn't be better by Friday, but YOU did say you thought you WOULD be OK for the week-end.
So, I would just move on from this one. And consider the advice here from the Aunties.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 December 2013):
 As cliché as it sounds, he's just not that into you.
My advice is not to contact him ever again and don't respond if he contacts you.
A gentleman does not court a woman by leaving her guessing. His interest, his intentions and his high regard for her should be clear.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (14 December 2013):
But if you were going to cancel on him last minute, shouldn't you have called him to tell him such a thing anyway? I think he must have felt like you are blowing him off. Even though you have mentioned your situation I think these are things that can be forgotten through texting.
I don't really know all the answers here but I think most of anyone can agree that the texting isn't really a good method for communication especially when important matters are concerned. Also I think texting leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings. Either way, hopefully one of you calls the other to sort this out and perhaps gain some stronger ways of communication. Else it might be better to just move on. Good luck and hope you feel better sooner than later.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 December 2013):
 You and he WERE on a "collision course" that might have lead to a friendship/relationship.... but that damn cold/cough of your's changed YOUR course.... and he adjusted his (course), and, now, it looks like the two of you aren't likely to intersect, after all.....
Good luck.....
P.S. "Relationships" which depend upon text exchanges are extremely volatile... and require exquisite timing...
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (14 December 2013):
 In polite society if someone cared about you “they would call not text” to see how you’re feeling thereafter!
The message he gives is clear to me that he does not give proper consideration to organise a week-end away knowing you were already sick on Wednesday, giving you 2 days to recover!?
Hope you’re feeling better soon
Keep warm – CAA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2013): Girl, his just not into you.
A boy who is into you will not wait for a day to respond to your text. It just takes a few minutes from the time you text him for him to reply.
Boys are just like us.
When we like someone, we get so excited, we wanna spend time with them and we want to get close with someone we like.
If his not doing those things with you, then its not worth it.
Again its just like a bubble.
Yeah he may like you when his bored.
But what about when his not bored?
He will disappear like Harry Houdini and disappoint you over and over again.
If I were you don't mind him.
Treat him like a BUBBLE.
There's so many men out there, you will still find someone who will not make you write here.
Good Luck!
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