A
female
age
41-50,
*lspeth
writes:Ok, this might sound a bit weird, but I wanted someone else’s perspective on it. I dated a guy for about nine months in 2009; it was a fairly serious relationship, but we split because we lived too far apart to make it work. It was a fairly amicable split and we had planned to stay friends, but it just didn’t really happen and apart from seeing each other once shortly after we split, we haven’t really had any contact since. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the other week I saw him at a train station in London. He was alone and the station wasn’t really busy or anything. I plucked up the courage to go over and say hello – but he didn’t seem to know who I was! It was definitely him, as he had his work badge with his name on and he looked exactly the same as he did the last time I saw him. He looked confused when I went over, even when I reminded him of who I was. He wasn’t with anyone, so it clearly wasn’t a case of him being embarrassed and he didn’t seem to be putting it on, as his face didn’t even show a flicker of recognition, even when I reminded him of who I was. Could anyone possibly explain what was going on – am I going funny or something or is he? It’s only been four years , I don’t really look much different, we didn’t split acrimoniously and yet he didn’t seem to recognise me at all. Obviously I’m a bit confused! Any advice??
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (19 January 2013):
 Does he smoke cannabis? I remember a friends ex being the same way - they went out for a few years, I was quite surprised he didn't seem to recognise her but could ssee in his eyes the confusion was genuine. we both put it down to the fact he smokes a lot of drugs, messes with his head. It's a possibility if you've not seen him for a while!The only other explanation seems to be you look different enough for him not to instantly recognise you.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (19 January 2013):
 All I can say is when I left uni I was on a tube and iI saw by the doors a guy that I had gone out with for about 2 years at school. I recognised Alex immediately and worked my way down the tube to say hello. Nothing about me had changed - same hair style, identical taste in clothes, same size, nothing. anyway I was pleased to see Alex and said hi it's me etc and he just looked at me blankly as if he didn't want to know. I kept saying it's me!! and he just kept looking at me as if iIwas a stranger. We came into the next station and he got off!! It was horrible - he clearly knew who I was but didn't want to know. I imagine sadly the same thing has happened with you. Don't think about it anymore - I have remembered this for 25 years so please don't be like me as it get's you no where. It is either a case of you damaged him and he doesn't want to know, you looked better than him so made him feel less successful or he just couldn't be bothered at that moment in time. Anyway, don't dwell on this anymore.
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A
female
reader, Elspeth +, writes (19 January 2013):
Elspeth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers! In response to Sageoldguy1465 - it doesn't really make any difference, I just found it a very odd experience, hence me asking people on here. He's 38, so it seemed a rather immature (and strange) way to respond. I agree with Caring Guy that he probably just didn't want the hassle. I'll try not to take it personally! :-)
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (19 January 2013):
 Unless he is suffering severely with memory loss (but he probably isnt), then it sounds like he just didnt want to talk to you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (19 January 2013):
 The key to my response is, "Who cares?????"
He's your "ex-" and, for whatever reason, he either actually didn't recognize you.... or, he DID recognize you and chose to feign NOT recognizing you..... But, what difference does it make?????
Chalk this up to an interesting - if inexplicable - occurance.... and get on with life...
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 January 2013):
Most likely, he did know who you were and just didn't want the hassle of speaking to an ex girlfriend. I would doubt that he didn't know who you were.
It was a bit of a poor reaction on his part, but maybe the break-up hurt him more than you and he just wanted to avoid opening a wound. Try not to take it too personally, or be too confused. People have their own ways of dealing with moving on etc, and I think he just wanted to not get into any conversation.
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