A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been together with my boyfriend for almost two years, and we still both care for each other very much. However, I feel like we are drifting away from each other. He is addicted to his newest computer game. He spends all of his time on it. I like playing it, too, but not all the time. Yet even this is not while I am so distressed. It's when he plays and is in a losing match. He shouts and swears very loud. It's scary seeing him like that. I have tried talking to him about it, but if it's while he's playing, he snaps at me. And then, when I try to approach him about it when he's cooled down, he says that's just how he is. I love him very much, but I am in serious doubt about my future with him, especially since this seems to happen everyday.I talked to him last week and told him that he has serious rage issues, and that if he didn't do anything about it, I was going to seriously reconsider our relationship. I finally convinced him to agree, so I told him that I expect him to have done research on possible solutions he could pursue to work on this problem. And, then if he didn't, then I was going to have a break from each other for about a month to see if he could get his act together and if not, move on. I really don't want to spend my life with a man who can't control his temper over a game of all things. My question is this: Am I asking too much or being too extreme about this, or is this a good approach for us?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): It seems taht like most of us gamers, he gets overpassionate when he is playing and is fully involved in the game so when you lose and when you win you experience either total frustration or amazing highs. I think you're being a bit OVERsensitive to him swearing when he loses....I mean come on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): No you are not asking too much, if he's showing so much aggression and anger towards a video game he could turn his anger onto you and could start getting violent. I would tell him to get some help or your just going to end things. You are not being extreme, your just being a good girlfriend. I hope I helped.
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A
male
reader, morris_say  +, writes (13 October 2010):
He probably snaps at you because he's trying to concentrate!
Would you rather he was addicted to a computer game or gambling or an alcoholic? We all have our vices and as long as he doesn't become violent towards you then this don't sound too bad. If he's agreed to seek help tho, maybe it is more serious.. as long as you're both honest with each other about this it should be fine, just don't try and control his actions.
Perhaps you need to find a new hobby that you can enjoy whilst he's playing. It's time to walk when he's violent towards you and not at a game that is probably frustratingly difficult. If you care about him then find him the cheats online so he can finish it and get addicted to tetris.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): Hiya miss!
This is a very mature, excellent approach by you!
Yes, his anger is indeed unjustified and rather childish. Who cares if someone ended your 27 kill streak in COD? lol...the guy is def taking the game too seriously and games are meant to be leisure and fun, not something to stress over and yell at your sweet GF!
Youre right in helping him and I applaud you for the effort. If he cant resolve this, Id say his temper could be a bad sign and leading into the future that can be a risk for something unhealthy with himself and your relationship. Wise move here. Best to you :)
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A
male
reader, whiteelephant +, writes (13 October 2010):
I'll say this: games can piss me off in a way nothing else can. when I get to that point, its not productive for me at all to play. it took me a while to recognize that. I used to be hopelessly addicted to them but I no longer have the urge to play anymore. usually when I do it comes from a sense of boredom and routine
You're approaching this the right way. I'd suggest you do some more looking up how to communicate with him about this, I know that when people confronted me about the thing I did all the time as being horrible for my life I'd get real defensive.
while the addiction is bad, games can be a positive thing too--dont lose sight of this.
and just a side suggestion you could play him in it and every time something happens one of you takes a piece of clothing off.
gl!
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