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My boyfriend is a serial cheater but I love him. Is it time to place my dignity above love?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

The first two time I caught my boyfriend cheating on me, he apologised and begged me not to leave. After two years, I feel that he's getting bored with me. I just caught him cheating on me again. I love him very much. Should I place my dignity obove love? I know he'd do it again and he will never change. On one end I love him dearly. On the other end I don't think I should waste my youth on him anymore. For all I know, when I am in my late twenties, he'd be leaving me for someone else.Ni know I should toughen up and break up with him but I'd be too heartbroken. I don't have the strength. Besides, the sex is great.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (27 August 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntI, like Cerberus, feel very sorry for you. You know it is wrong but don't have enough self respect to leave. You will always be treated this way and even after hearing all of our comments telling you to leave, you will not. He will leave you one day. Whatever use you have for him will run out. And then you will be someone else's doormat. I'm not sure how one gains self respect and doesn't allow another person to treat them this way. Maybe see a therapist to find out? But I won't bother telling you to leave him, common sense tells you what you should do and you don't need to hear it from me.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2012):

When he brings home a disease that he's caught from some other woman and gives it to you, or when he admits that he's got another woman pregnant, you'll regret every second that you didn't dump him.

That is why you need to dump him. For your own health, respect, dignity, happiness and just about everything else.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou should leave

you won't

you will stay till either he dumps you for someone else

or you can't bear the pain of his lying cheating ways any more.

are you enjoying the great sex with the women he's sleeping with behind your back (and the men they are sleeping with too)?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012):

The sex is great? Its likely one of these days you'll contract a nasty infection or worse, a sexually transmitted disease from him because of the "Great sex" you have with him!

How do you know he doesn't have unprotected sex with these woman?

How do you know these women don't sleep around unprotected with other guys that sleep around unprotected?

My answer to your question is: Toughen up and develop some self respect. Get rid of the guy, and deal with the few months of heartbreak you will experience from the breakup, and stop accepting the regular and continuous heartache you receive every time he jumps into bed with another woman!

Did you come here for advice, or just to get this off your chest?

Because I'm sure you MUST know that cheating is wrong in a relationship, and also what you must do about it to put an end to this situation.

I sincerely hope you take the advice given here because if you don't, you will forever be going round in circles, and eventually no one will take your cries for help seriously.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012):

You basically answered your own question OP. It doesn't matter what you 'should' do and you know what every response you're going to get here will be but the sad fact of the matter is you're going to stay with this guy for as long as he has use for you. The saddest part of all this OP, is you think it's better to stay because you're not strong enough to deal with the heart ache, well imagine 5 years down the line when he finds a girl who's not a pushover and one he respects. He'll dump you like a bad habit and it's going hurt far more than you doing it now.

Good luck OP, people who are too weak to protect themselves and do what's right for themselves lead long, miserable lives, always being taken advantage of. You're choice to stay with this guy is going to make a very lonely, bitter woman in the future and life is just going to pass you by. I actually feel really sorry for you OP, I've seen what happens girls like you and this kind of thing really does ruin them. They lose all faith in men and even worse they lose all faith in themselves to be able to conduct themselves well in relationships. I had one friend spend 8 years on and off with a complete douche who cheated on her over and over, came back when he saw fit and she couldn't say no to him because she loved him. Well he finally broke all contact with her for good 6 years ago and she still doesn't trust herself with men or trust mean and is resigned to just never getting married, and for last 6 years is adamant she never wants anything to do with men in terms of relationships. Such a waste OP because she's a lovely girl but I have to admit, she's just not cut out for relationships because she will accept any and all bad behaviour from a guy to her own detriment.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012):

You're an aussie, population about 22,712,284, surely if you're criterion is great sex at least 10 men to choose from from that number can satisfy those needs. And yes you are wasting your youth on him. Move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012):

Dump the dirty little rat he's just using you to come back to when he's had his fun sounds like he's scared to be on his own find someone that will love you and be faithful x

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A female reader, SalmonOfKnowledge Ireland +, writes (27 August 2012):

I will just be honest here. If it was love, he would not dream of doing that you. You should end this relationship now, and find a man that loves you. What is more important, great sex or a man that cares about you?? I'd go for the latter one.

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