A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I keep seeing her everyday at univerity. She was the girl that I instantly fell for. The only girl that turned me down three times because I just wouldn't take no for an answer. It was to the point where she started to give me compliment about my looks and my accent. At first she was shy but after my persistent flirting, she too started to come around and accept my advances. Still, she turned me down everytime I tried to ask her out. She said she was in a relationship and that it would be too awkward for us to even go out on a friendly level. She also said it was someone I knew. I didn't really care that she was in a relationship because I was falling head over heels for this girl. All I saw was her and no one else. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't tell me who the guy was. Eventually, I found out through a mutual friend. Her boyfriend is a guy that I use to be close to last year. We're no longer best friends but we do talk now and again.Now that I know, it's like I see them together all the time. I can't believe I didn't notice it before. It's killing me to see them walking side by side, her smiling, him standing so close. How I wish that I could be that close to her. I know I should forget her but it's so hard. All I see is her. She even asked me what was wrong because I suddenly stopped flirting with her. I didn't tell her I knew who her boyfriend was. I just said that I wasn't feeling too good and that I would be okay. She seemed worried. My distant behavior continued and she continued to question me. I kept repeating my escuse. She finally gave up and decided to let it go.I no longer talk to her but I see her every day. I see THEM everyday. It hurts so much. It's so hard to move on when she steal glances of me throughout the day. I want to move on and wish them well but all I think about is having her. How can I move on?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): honestly i think it's a lack of morals and simple consideration on your part. I knw unrequited love hurts and you wish like hell to have her as yours, but you can't just go aftr someone in a relationship just because you want them really badly. It's not fair to you because you'll always be the guy that ruined a couple, and she could lose respect for you for that, even if you guys got together in the future. It's unfair to her because she obviously cares for you and was worried when you started acting different and it all seems as though she might nothing more than a 'thing' you feel you have to have. And it is most certainly not fair to her boyfriend. Like 'a female reader' said you wouldn't want it done to you. It hurts when the one you 'love' is with someone else. And that's when patience truly pays off. If it's meant to be there's no telling that you won't be with her. Do the noble thing and wait. Most college relationships don't last anyway. You could still have your shot.Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe whole thing about relationships never detered me away from flirting with a girl. As long as she doesn't have a ring on her finger then she's still free to choose another guy with little to no consequence.
I don't intentionally go after girls in relationship. It just happens that all the girls I'm interested in are taken. Doesn't surprise me because they're great catches and it's rare to find them without a boyfriend. 95% of my girlfriends were in a relationship prior to them meeting me. They dumped thier boyfriend to be with me. It too has been done to me in the past. The world is never fair. It's usually settle for second best or go for the main prize, that someone else happens to have. That's how all competitions work. Someone else has the belt/cup, it's your job to win it.
She's the prize that I would do anything to win. Sometimes the only way to win something is to go after it, not wait until that prize is left alone in a room with no one holding it. And no, she is not a possesion to me. She has the value of a unique and special person beyond comparison. Even if I were to turn over a leaf and say "I'll never go after another girl in a relationship.", that doesn't mean that other guys won't try and get my girl.
I'm not trying to forget her because she's in a relationship. I'm trying to move on because she's with a friend of mines and I happen to respect him. This is why I need help in moving past her. Thank you for your advise.
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