A
female
age
30-35,
*akshmi_Sperenza
writes:I am 20 years old and have been in an a serious monagomous relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now..sex is great, we don't fight, and we love eachother...Recently he brought up bringing someone else into the bedroom or maybe even having an orgy. We're pretty straight forward with eachother when it comes to what we want/need and he told me he wanted some variety when it comes to sex..which i understand..that's what ever man wants lol...he's just a little more honest and blunt than most men. Here's my problem..I wouldn't say i'm possesive but i am a bit jealous when it comes to other women..but i have fantasized about having an orgy and having threesomes...and i'm very open minded to the idea and i find it really exciting. I would consider myself bi-curious because i have experimented with women before and i did enjoy it..but it's always been a one-on-one deal..everytime i've had sex with anyone. How do i get over my jealousy when it comes to having an orgy? or is it one of those things where you have to try it in order to know whether you can get over your jealousy and if you'll like it or not? any advice is greatly appreciated! thanks!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 February 2010):
This is very much a sign that you shouldn't do it. For any couple to be able to have threesomes and orgies or go swinging, they need to be very close and totally jealous free. This is a sign you shouldn't do it, because you are going to get hurt.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself of this idea to save your relationship / stay with your boyfriend. Yes you fantasize about a threesome or orgy. I think a lot of us may have done that! But actually going through with it is quite a different matter. Once done, there is no erasing it. It will involve your boyfriend being intimate with another woman and you cannot then get jealous or use it against him. All boundaries between the two of you will be broken down - for ever - and this could obviously lead to either one of you exploring other relationships. I guess I am old fashioned but I think you are potentially destroying one of the most important factors in a decent, honest, loving and committed relationship. Think very very carefully before you do something you could regret. One additional point is that if / when you split with your boyfriend, a new partner may find it difficult to accept what you did and be concerned about your sense of loyalty. My boyfriend admitted he was involved in a threesome a few years before he knew me and I have found this pretty difficult to overcome - mainly because an element of doubt has crept in that I am enough (i.e. just me). These are things you need to think about - not just the lust of the moment.
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 That's a pretty big dilemma, and if you say that both of you are happy in your relationship, it could be the end of it. I personally would be extremely jealous, and it would leave me always wondering if he secretly desired this other woman, or other women in general.
Ask him if he would be comfortable if the third party was a man instead of a woman and ask him how it makes him feel. Whether or not you are bi-curious, if this scenario is not okay with him, I would say no to the whole thing. You shouldn't have to bring that kind of doubt and mistrust into a happy, functional relationship. It's an invitation for disaster.
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