A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has moved from the UK to the US a month ago - something he has had planned for 2 years. I met him 14 months ago and we fell in love quickly but he never once considered whether I was able to come with him and decided that he could not stomach being in the UK any more it was not what made him happy. I have tried to look at my options but am worried how much it is costing me to do this or whether I have the same opportunities out there - another thing he has not considered. He has told me before he left that he guessed if I didn't join him then it would be over between us but he was not changing his mind. I feel hurt and pressurised. I have always believed that couples make decisions together. We both love each other but he has put me in such a difficult position and I am upset at the thought of leaving my home town, family and friends behind but also torn apart by my boyfriend. I know I can visit him - but what then? I feel like he has practically dumped me. Has anyone else been in this situation?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Don't follow him. I have plans to leave (not to another country, but 4 hours away) and if I was in love and wanted to spend my life with a person, I would ask them to follow. On the other hand, I have moved because of a guy and it was a mistake. I ended up being depressed because I missed my family, friends, and my city. It's not worth being unhappy for someone who doesn't care whether you go or stay. So for future reference, I know that I will not move for a guy unless he is already my husband.
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Don't follow him.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 May 2008):
 I think you have to be realistic about the situation. At your ages, if someone packs up and leaves, they're saying something. He picked what was most important to him at that particular time in his life. He left. BUT.....you knew what his plans were. This should come as no surprise to you. Now you are the one eho needs tomake a choice.
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A
male
reader, wildman  +, writes (11 May 2008):
 It doesn't sound like he put much importance on you when making such a drastic decision. Maybe should tell him you care for him alot and wish he would return. He may find his decision was not so great after he is there for a while without you. Otherwise, I would move on to somebody else who cares about you where you are living now. good luck
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