My boyfriend has a porn addiction. He does't seem to find me sexually attractive.

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have a problem and I really don't even know what to think of it anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He's kind, intelligent, gentle, loving, and generally amazing to me. The only problem is that he has a porn addiction. He's had it for a few years now. He's working on it; trying hard to break the addiction, and I'm doing my best to support him. All this is well and good, except that some problems are cropping up. Over the last few months our sex life has been dull and barely there. Every time I try to initiate it he seems only half interested or just brushes it off all together, saying "I'm tired" or whatever. I guess it's alright since my sex drive is low anyway...but I just wish he'd show more interest. I wish HE would approach ME for sex...but he never does! And he has a high sex drive so this is odd. I'm feeling so ugly and unwanted. I've had self-esteem issues ever since we first got together, because of some minor things he said at the beginning, but now they're just getting worse. All I can think about is how he's fantasizing about all these other, better women; about how plain and uninteresting I am physically. And deep down I know I'm actually a rather attractive person, but he just keeps making me feel inadequate. I can't really even explain it. It's like, why would he need porn unless he found me unattractive? And when we're out together, especially now that it's summer and girls wear skimpy clothes, all I can think is that he's staring at all the other women (even though he probably isn't). I just feel so horrible about my body. He compliments me all the time, because he knows I'm feeling down, but still I just can't believe him. I mean, if I'm really so beautiful, then why does he need porn? I don't know. And at first I was really upset about his porn problem, I would literally cry all night. But now I think about him watching porn and I just don't even care. At this point I really don't care who he looks at or masterbates to. I feel like it still makes me angry and sad but I'm just too worn out to deal with it. And I'm starting to get even more self-conscious. I constantly wonder if his past girlfriends/sex partners were better looking than me, if they had bigger breasts than me, etc because I'm just so confused as to WHY he doesn't find me sexually attractive. I've even started looking them all up online, like on Myspace, just to see if they really are better looking than me. I feel like I'm going crazy.

View related questions: breasts, myspace, porn, sex drive, sex life

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