A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please tell me if I should be pissed here.My bf and I were having a conversation by text and right in the middle of it, he disappears. Stops texting. So I texted him "u went away?" Then about 5-10 minutes later he replied "sorry I got distracted by John" (business colleague). I don't know but it kind of made me feel pissed at him. We had the best day ever yesterday. Our relationship has never been better and then today I just felt slighted during this conversation. I then purposely did not answer him right away to which I replied "it's ok. I am going out to the store to run some errands." Should I feel pissed? I just felt ignored and forgotten about! Last night at 2 am he contacted me out of the blue just to tell me how amazing I am and how happy he is to be with me. And now this??
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female
reader, worriedgirl2012  +, writes (8 January 2017):
I think we all thought he was at work because you wrote that he was distracted by a business colleague. Glad everything worked out!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 January 2017):
 I am glad you let this go, because if you are this clingy then the relationship will never last, as he will get miserable and feel suffocated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): It's the OP.
Thank you everyone.
I have already let it go. And things are fine.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (4 January 2017):
 Are you always this insecure or is there something in this or a past relationship that has made you feel uncomfortable with a pause in text conversation? Or did you say something embarrassing or vulnerable and then the pause began?
I think it would be different if he was doing this over a phone conversation. Then I'd potentially feel crappy about being ignored or toted around as he talked to John-but text is different in my mind, people respond at their leisure. My bf does the same thing but we may take like an hour, two hour pauses. I don't always like it but you have to pick your battles.
I disagree with the last poster – I wouldn't even mention that you were feeling pissed about it because it makes you look dumb. Sorry. Also don't get mad at our aunts, usually when posters reply to their original responses, there's a note that says that there's been follow up from the original poster and for some reason yours isn't tags like that ( probably because you are an anonymous poster). Let it go!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): He sounds like a nice guy OP. BTW are you in like the honeymoon phase of the relationship? Either ways, you are just being silly! I hope you didn't fight with him or give him a hard time over this.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 January 2017):
 OP, you can shout in CAPS all you like, but he was still busy. Was he supposed to ignore John and text you in the middle of his conversation with him?
In future, if your conversation is important enough that you'll get irrationally peeved by a lapse with his replying, call him to have the conversation instead.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): I believe that you and I both agree that at that moment, you overthinked it a bit and got moody for no specific reason for his late reply.It's understandable - we're only human and not perfect all the time. You both were texting back and forth and back and forth in a fast paced momento, then there was a lag that broke that pace and it irritated you. At that moment you got pissed, but Im sure thinking back, you realize now that it's not really that big of a deal. I'm sure if you think about it, there are times where you've 'paused' your boyfriend to focus briefly on something else.At times we might act like a b*tch.. to our boyfriend, siblings, parents, relatives, friends, etc.. but the action doesn't define who we are as a person, rather where we are at this point in life. We're not perfect, we are allowed these moments in life. If you feel bad, make amends. Next time you talk to your boyfriend, you can casually say "I'm sorry honey, the other day while we were texting, I got pissed cuz you took a while to reply. That was so silly of me."
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): Hi OP.
I don't think it matters that he was at the mall. Maybe his business colleague had business to discuss with him at the time and he was taken away from your conversation. But he did get back to you in reasonable time and apologized and told you the reason. There is nothing to be upset about. Just enjoy your relationship. It seems to be a good one. :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): Ok everyone! It's the OP.
HE WAS NOT AT WORK!
I already said that!
HE WAS AT THE MALL!
Several people have NOT read my words here!
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female
reader, Slippers +, writes (4 January 2017):
I don't think a10 minute lapse in time is a biggie sweetie .
He could have been handing over the jumper for money return or maybe his friend said something and they discussed it .
For me I liked how he explained why ...he didn't reply so quickly . He said got distracted by john . If that had been me ..I would have said no seeing me in my stockings is distracting haha ..
If someone with someone give them the benefit of the doubt and some time to responded . And also some space . Even an hour between texting isn't a lot .
He explained himself you don't want to start becoming jealous and controlling as think what happens if the tide turns and he does the same ??
Anyway put this silly episode behind you and move on . Just being silly here a little I think .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): You tend to get a little distracted when you're on personal calls with your boo, while you're at work.
John was not the distraction while your boyfriend is on the clock. You are!!!
Your man loves the heck out of you, and you're acting spoiled and high-maintenance. That's how you shorten relationships, and one of the ten fastest ways to get rid of a boyfriend.
You're over 25 now, girlfriend; and getting pissed about 10 minute pauses during a text message sounds a bit adolescent. You were just having a casual chat, you weren't discussing a diagnosis you just got from your doctor for a rare blood disease.
No, you have no right to be pissed. You have a prince and you should be appreciative of him.
Read your post and notice your own contradictions. Things couldn't be better...but should you be pissed? So you behaved like a brat and ignored him?
Seriously, girlfriend?!!
This is where one has to ask. Are you bragging or complaining?!!
You're lucky to be anonymous. There are hundreds of single ladies (and gay guys) reading your post who would love to have him. Women who do know you both, who would grab him.
I pray we don't have to set the egg-timer for the breakup-post!
Behave yourself, sweetheart!
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female
reader, worriedgirl2012 +, writes (3 January 2017):
Wait what? He was at work and didn't respond for a while? This is NORMAL. Do you like going on dates? Getting gifts from him? Traveling together? Well that requires money and he can't do a good job at work if he's tied to texting you every minute. You'll never find a guy that has the down time to text you on stop. Find a way to move on from this ASAP or spare this poor guy.
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male
reader, noflyzone  +, writes (3 January 2017):
Okay, well first of all you said yourself that your relationship has never been better and that when he got back to you, you didn't answer him right away. yet he still called you just to let you know how much he loved you, what more could a partner want. Have you asked him what was the problem or situation with his business collegue? As we all know relationships take work and understanding, I'm almost certain that he didn't see it as something that would hurt you I'm sure and it's not like he cut you off on purpose. If we want understanding we have to be understanding as well. Even if you're the most important being in his life you still can't expect that kind of constant attention from him, it wouldn't be possible nor healthy. From what you said he seems like a great guy and he seems to give you priority as a partner so instead of all that worrying about something as trivial as this, why not just pick up the phone and tell him how much you love him too.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 January 2017):
 Are you doing well with your own life? This sort of irrational behavour and strange logic points to you perhaps having difficulties in life you're not handling very well, and you are taking it out on your boyfriend.
My father, who has bipolar personality disorder, is known to react the way you did, and to use this type of logic. I strongly encourage you to look into whether this behaviour is something you have done before, and how your family and friends have reacted to it when you act on these impulses of being pissed off over nothing. Have you had times where you have lost several friends? Do you have many friends? Are you isolated from your family? How are you doing in school/at work?
I would think you either have a personality disorder or another mental health disorder, or that you have been spoiled as a child or experienced something traumatic at a young age. You need to be aware of the problems and find the symptoms. You should try to talk to your doctor about these thoughts and how you react out of proportions.
I grew up with a family where there's several cases of mental illnesses and I know to recognize odd behavioural patterns when I see them. This sort of reaction from you is extreme. You should take it seriously. It is out of the norm.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2017): It is the OP. No, he was not at work, Honey Pie. He was at the shopping mall when we were texting each other. He was there to exchange a sweater from Christmas.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 January 2017):
 Was he at work when he got "distracted by a co-worker"? If so, I think you are nuts for being pissy about it. He is at work to DO a job, not chat you up and text you. Seriously.
You are not 16, so I presume you understand that when you are a grown up, have a job you also have the RESPONSIBILITY to do the job you are PAID to do. Not surf porn or text your GF.
In all honesty, it makes you seem over the top needy or high maintenance to get your panties in a wad over this.
Be glad he wasn't DRIVING and got distracted by the texting and had an accident.
Sorry if I seem hard on you, but this is so ridiculous to be miffed about. At least to me. But then again I understand that while my husband is at work, he is working, not texting me. He and I can talk when he gets home. It might be because I have dated in the "dark ages" before cell phones were the norm and texting ditto, but really I just don't SEE the need for this constant contact.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 January 2017):
Don't be silly, OP! You shouldn't feel slighted that he got distracted for a tiny amount of time. Was he at work?
Look, don't get so high maintenance over a text conversation - you'll chase him off. Don't be petty and deliberately take a while to text back either.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2017): What a lovely text to receive to be told how amazing you are and how happy he is.
How lovely that you had the best day ever and your relationship has never been better.
How sad then, that you feel the need to piss it all away because for five minutes he had to put his attention elsewhere.
Maybe he should revise his text to you about how amazing you are. If you carry on in this way, you will give him enough inspiration to change his mind about you completely. Grow up before you lose him.
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