A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend doesn't think of me when he masturbates, is this a problem? He says men don't masturbate about the woman they love?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): I would LOVE for my boyfriend to think about me when he masturbates. But he, unfortunately, doesn't.
You are so lucky.
A
female
reader, ciaobella  +, writes (27 May 2008):
HONESTLY... When i masturbate, 9 times out of 10 i am thinking about my partner, NOT some fantasy b/c our sexual chemistry when we're together is so good.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): HONESTLY... When i masturbate, 9 times out of 10 i am thinking about my partner, NOT some fantasy b/c our sexual chemistry when we're together is so good.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Hi,
I would say most guys don't think of their partners when masturbating. For me personally its a mix, my girl pops her head into the party so to speak. But its a fantasy play, you see the hot girl on the bus with the great looking arse and you think wow I'd like to have a go at that. So instead of hitting on her you think of her when you masturbate. It's really as simple as that.
He is being very open with you, and if you can be honest with yourself : when you masturbate is he the only person invited to the party - or does Brad Pitt or someone hot pay a visit? If for some reason you don't masturbate maybe now's the time to explore this side of your sexuality - my wife swears by it!!:).
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A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Im gonna go with what everyoneis saying.It is not a problem as when a person masterbates its usually to a fantasy. So its no problem. Just know he does love youand its good he tells the truth
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (19 February 2008):
 i dont think its a problem at all, my boyf does it while watching porn sometimes and if im honest with myself i dont think he's really thinking of me while watching the naked blonde having sex!! it doesnt bother me at all, i know he's happier with the real deal but its nice to have that outlet for your fantasies, celebs etc. masturbation lets us put ourselves into that certain situation that we all know we'll never be in but its fun to live it for a while. do you masturbate? if you do do you ALWAYS think of your boyf?? my guess is no, dont worry about it its not reflective of his feelings for you
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Sexually speaking. do you masturbate? if not.. then probably about time you started as it will help you understand.if yes. then.. do you think about your Man all the time?.. maybe a famous person or some guy you know or saw.Asking someone what they thinking of either during sex or during masturbation is Thin ice on a warm day.Does he watch porn? do you watch porn? are you thinking of your guy? or the swedish plumber nailing the blonde chick.
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A
female
reader, EssentiallyMe +, writes (19 February 2008):
 That's messed up. Do YOU think of HIM when you masterbate? Of course you do! I don't think there is anything wrong with masterbation, but if it includes things OUTSIDE of the committed relationship you are in than that's just not right. In my opinion, of course.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (19 February 2008):
 He sounds very honest to me. I dont think its something you should be offended about either way.
Im sure most guys dont think about their partner, not after a length of time together anyway. Its just most dont let it be known!
Dont worry, it doesnt mean anything.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): My partner masturbates and says it's not nice to masturbate with your girlfriend in mind - he says he does it to 'other things he has seen on the internet' presumably meaning porn!! and possibly rough sex he has seen or something. I don't really like it and I worry it will affect our sex life and once got annoyed with him about it so now no-one mentions it. I don't really understand this aspect of men but I do know loads of them do this and I'm sure it's ok.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 February 2008):
 I don't think its a problem. Masturbation is about fantasy and your current partner is about reality. Sometimes these two can mix but usually it's best to keep them secret. I wouldn't worry about this in the least bit as long as he's still having a healthy sex life with you.
CD
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): He's right, men don't usually think about the woman they love when they masturbate, they think about twenty women from Playboy, the neighbor, the co worker, and then the waitress and oh yeah the hot hostess. Men are wired like that most of them, to tell you the truth I don't think about the man I love all the time when I masturbate. Sometimes my thoughts get too graphic and dirty and I don't want to completely pervert the sweet love I have for him. I may start out with him in a loving visual but by the end there are two strange guys and blah, blah. I'll stop there. I said all of this to say it's natural. It's harmless. I don't think he should of told you this but maybe give him points for not lying, women always want the truth. I want to add that I appear mild mannered and somewhat demure. I've never had a threesome in real life and never will but sexual fantasies can and should be whatever the person fantasizing want.
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