A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: boyfriend cheated on me in the past twice and begged me for his forgiveness, telling me how much he love me an all that. So i did because i do love him back. But now weve had problems with trust since then and he wanted us to have some time apart. During this time apart he did things with another woman, (not sexual though), and other things in front of everyone at a shindig a bloke of his had. Now were back together and i am bloody rite pissed. Not because he did these things but because he thinks it was ok cus we werent together and he had a few drinks so its ok and still has yet to apoligise for them, even though he knows how bad it hurt me. But im the one saying sorry for my jelousy! Im kissing his butt when hes the one who made huge mistakes. And the more i think about it the more i think he is just taking advantage of my love for him and if he doesnt apoligise soon, I will be the one leaving. No more. Im not taking this from him no matter how much i love him, not if he cant even say sorry. Advice?
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cheated on me, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Yeah, you need to leave him. Why would you stay with someone who does not really love you or respect you. Actually it probably is not even that deep! He's just selfish and doesn't care enough about how his behaviour makes you feel.
I am one of those ones who's love just changes when I get cheated on - just don't feel the same about them. Move on, best luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Well I do understand even though im way under your age. i been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and sum change but he has contiune cheating and i end up forgiving him and apoligy for something he did. i mean i love em but how much can one person take.
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A
female
reader, cheryl99 +, writes (30 October 2008):
You are setting a precedent for his future behaviour. He'll cheat again because he got away with it. Take back the power in this relationship, demand an apology and make it clear you only forgive once. Then forgive and move on. You risk losing him but if you behave like a doormat you'll get walked on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): Leave him, try to remember the good days and forget about the bad, but...........leave him and start again.Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Ches +, writes (24 July 2008):
What a loser!!!
Please someone tell me if I'm wrong here but "some time apart" doesn't mean you've broken up and for him to use that when he can't keep his hands to himself then he's a joke, I'm sorry hun but you have to get rid he's playing games with you and its very very wrong
You sound like such a nice person and you deserve someone so much better and someone who is worthy of you.
You should follow this 3 point plan:
1. Kick him into touch
2. Delete his number
And the most important point.......
3. BE HAPPY
Hope this helps hun xx
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A
male
reader, LCB +, writes (24 July 2008):
My advice to you is bail out of this relationship now. There are too many guys out there just like him and its just not worth the trouble.You may think your in love but believe me your not. How can you be to a liar cheat and bastard. Expose him as a liar and a cheat on www.liarscheatsandbastards.com then move on with your live and enjoy the looking. Look at it as a big shopping spree and enjoy the looking and touching but remember you don't have to buy. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Curiousbynature  +, writes (24 July 2008):
Yeah he is pushing the blame off onto you so he doesn’t have to deal with what he did to you. This is a defense mechanism. It’s similar to what a compulsive person does. Say for instance you have someone who is a compulsive shopper. They buy to make themselves feel good. They buy something and feel good, but then feel badly about spending the money, so in turn they feel like crap so feel the need to buy something again. This is a vicious circle. I think people who cheat do it to make themselves feel good about them because they are uncomfortable about their current relationship. So you might make him feel uncomfortable, maybe he thinks he is not adequate to you. Are you a lot cutter than him? Well, anyway when someone pushes something they do onto you, then they are usually trying to take the spot light off of the problem they have. The first thing he can do is accept that he cheated on you and it was not right. Then he needs to recover that by proving his trust to you. And people can stop the cheating, don’t believe the once a cheater always a cheater, I am living proof of that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): The majority of guys are the same. They will Lie, Cheat and just be complete bastards. What do you do, you let the guy walk all over you. Dump him now. Expose him on the web site liarscheatsandbastards.com and then get on with your life. There is some guy out there who will treat you right and not cheat on you. So get looking and enjoy the looking. Think of it as shopping. Its great to look and feel but you don't have to buy.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (24 July 2008):
 My advice my honest advice is dump him and do it now he is using you and when he wants going off to someone else, you dont need this your better then this dump him now he will only cheat on you again and come back to you because you will take him back.
Stop being used ans treated like a fool just get rid of him he doesnt love you or respect you and you can do so much better
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): I think that you are telling yourself you will leave but you are actually not going anywhere! After all he has done you have taken him back and LOVED him and still continue to love him!! He knows that you will always be there for him so he can get away with whatever he likes. And not only will you take him back but you will suck up your pride and apologise for the insecurities he has caused you to have. I am not sure why you have a very low opinion of yourself but really in this world we have to make tough decisions... He is not good for you and you should let him go. I hope you find the strength to do this because trust is not easy to rebuild and as long as you are this angry inside and continue to pretend to be all good... you will poison yourself with resentment. Good luck... sorry to be harsh but really he is not worth it!!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 July 2008):
Yep he's walking all over you, and do you know why? Because you've lain down and written WELCOME across your body.
He's not forcing you to apologise for you jealousy, you are just trying to take some of the blame so he'll own up and take his half. But all you are really doing is letting him get away with it.
He obviously has no respect for you. Don't wait, get out today!
Good Luck!! xx
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