A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:My boyfriend had being acting funny for a month, asking to go on a break. He'd come back, we'd make up, and he'd ask for a break again. The third time he came back and he said he'd been thinking and that he doesn't want to be in a relationship because he's not used to it. He'd been single for too long and he doesn't want to hurt me in the long run because he might end up cheating on me. Why didn't he say that sooner? He couldn't even say it, I had to get it out of him.Now am so hurt, I thought he was special. We were so perfect together. We were so in love, and everyone thought we were the cutest couple. I thought I'd been in love before but it was real love with him. It was so different with him.Why did he do this to me? Omg it hurts so much:( What am I going to do with myself? He was my life, my special friend, my everything.
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female
reader, Freeangel +, writes (4 March 2011):
I was in your situation when I was around your age. We were together for a year or so, my first love. Towards the end he broke up with me twice and we got back together but in the end I got so fed up and I realised that I couldn't be with somebody who didn't seem to care anymore and I walked away from him, quite literally. He seemed to have turned into a completely different person and I couldn't understand why and worst of all he couldn't really give me an answer! As I'm sure you're aware, it's so so hard! You feel like your heart is failing, it literally aches and you picture it in pieces, and you feel like you'll never feel happy or complete again. BUT! YOU WILL! It may take a long time, I won't lie, it took me a few years to properly get over my ex but now I am totally over him. Not to say you'll feel exactly the same as you do now for years and years! It will still hurt but it WILL get easier! You may find that he wasn't right for you and take you less time to move on. Just don't run back to him and ask for him back. I know all you probably want to do is see him, touch him, talk to him, feel all those feelings you are used to but I guess he just isn't in the same place anymore. And if one person isn't into it it won't work. I feel bad saying that because I know how hard it is to hear, but going back to him when he doesn't want the same things will only make you seem and feel less strong, less desirable and make you feel much worse about it all. I've been there! My ex would meet up with me all the time because he felt bad for hurting me but in the end I wished he never answered my calls! You need to get back to you. Just be yourself. Take time to do the things you enjoy. Realise your true worth! Try and remove him from your life slowly if you can. Obviously you do need to grieve. Let yourself. Get it out. Cry, scream, whatever you need to do! Talk to people you trust about it but listen to yourself. Just trust that you will be OK! There is most definitely light at the end of the tunnel! I know it may sound corny to some people but asking the angels to help you may help you if you wanted to try it. Everyone has a guardian angel. They are there and waiting to help. Even to write down everything you feel is a good way to get it all out of your system. Every night or whenever you feel anger or hurt etc if you feel the need to. Heartache is the worst, but you'll get through it. Trust that all will be well :o) .
A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 shh! honey! I know what you are saying coz I have been there and just managed to survive it ... I know its not easy it is hard and the excruciating pain in your chest would seem so heavy all the time ... try not to think much keep yourself distracted it will help .... some1 told me to pray when I remembered her and I did that and it did help me a lot but the pain is still there .... and it does hurt much at times .... well what I'm trying to tell you is sweetheart just give it some time ... cry it out it will make you feel better ... :(( things will not change ... but you can definitely do something better with your life ... this girl was very very special to me to and I felt like fish out of water :(( I did try to do stupid things but I couldn't go ahead with it ... I guess all you can do is give it time and find some1 that will love you for who you are and not for what they can get out of you .... pls do take care of you and do read my post carefully it is important that you don't do anything hasty at this time :(( eh! I sometimes wished I could rip out my heart so that it stopped hurting anyways I know you will find some1 that will love you for you some1 that will value your love you just need to get over it and look for what makes you happy isnt that what we all want to be happy :((take care :D
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 Why did he do this? Because it's what he wanted. I know it sucks, having just been dumped recently myself. But while you were happy, he wasn't. It's better that he was honest, even if you had to drag it out of him.What are you going to do with yourself? Grieve, and then move on. Losing a relationship is like dealing with death. You need to give yourself time to grieve. You'll go through the stages; anger, bargaining, depression, denial and acceptance. Don't rush to another relationship. Think of the good times and bad, and then put them behind you.The relationship didn't work out. Please don't try to get it back. Just accept it as something you cannot change and deal with the now. You'll get through this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): I don't understand why man sometimes don't have the guts to tell us that they don't want to be with us anymore? I completely understand what you are going through. My ex-boyfriend and I were going through a couple of breaks. Both of the times that we were on a break I was totally against it. But in the end I realize that he didn't care for me anymore. Even though the least he could have been was honest with me, he couldn't even do that. I was the one that got tired finally and broke up with him. To tell you the truth, I really didn't want to this. I love him so much, but I couldn't be with someone who just didn't care for me anymore. So I do know how you feel. Losing someone so important for you. But you are going to have to be strong and move on. I know how hard it is. I am still going through it myself. Start a new, try to distract yourself by going out with friends, find another hobby or find your new hobby. Focus on yourself and try your best to not think about him. Cry, laugh, talk with your family and friends. Is healthy for you.
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