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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend recenty asked me if i would have an orji. me and 3 other boys. i am quite anxious to try it and would like to give it a go but i wouldnt know what to do... i am ready for sex have done it tons of times but i dont know whether it would split me and my bf up. would it be like us both cheeting? would it be like my boyfriend having gay sex?? can anyone explin and do you think i should do it?? please can anyone reply/ thank you for reading!]
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male
reader, Enigmatical  +, writes (13 November 2008):
Have you ever heard the term "Walk before you run". This actually applies quite well in this situation. While you may have had sex "tonnes of times", you are still young and exploring exactly what set is.
Something like extra partners or an orgy is a very complex sexual experience which requires not just experience at sex but also a level of maturity and wisdom about exactly what sex means in the wider picture. It is also something that is done by people who have a lot of confidence in themselves (ie no insecurities) and a lot of trust in their partners. To capture the essence of how people can share these experiences and remain a strong union, people who do this in a positive way hold the firm belief that their love and bond is so strong that no matter what they may do physically with others, their heart and their soul remain true to their partner and nothing is capable of breaking that bond.
For this reason I would recommend against you doing something like this, while it may sound like a good idea on the surface, your ages and level of commitment to each other (yes I know if feels like you will be together forever and its meant to be but we all thought that when we were young), would not be enough to survive this. At your age you haven't built up a level of understanding about yourself, let along other people, haven't explored hat the world has to offer mentally and will find the emotional tidal wave that will follow having done something like this may shake you and do you harm.
Having said all that, I can see that it is still a curiosity, and that will not change over time, so I would say take baby steps. Start by simply discussing it with your boyfriend, fantasizing about doing it without actually going through with it. Talk to him in graphic detail about what would happen and express some of the things that may happen during such an encounter.
When you start talking to him about being intimate with other guys, tell him that you find one of them attractive and say that another one gave you the best orgasm of your life you may find the idea isn't as perfect in his mind. By discussing the emotional things involved in this it allows you to briefly feel what you may feel experiencing this without actually having to do it.
How would your boyfriend cope seeing you with 3 other guys at once? What if you were enjoying yourself so much that you neglected him a little? How would he take it if you said that you had sex with him all the time but these people were new and you wanted to spend more time with them? How would he cope with you asking to do it again?
How would you cope seeing your boyfriend with another man? How would you feel if he did something with one of the others that he has never done with you? What would your reaction be if during the encounter you felt like he was treating you like a toy or a play thing or was being a little rough "showing off" to the others? What would you do if one of the guys didn't wear a condom or it broke and you fell pregnant? What if you fell madly in love with one of the other guys or your boyfriend realised he was gay?
There are so many things to consider first
As for the cheating aspect, cheating occurs when one partner gets sexual or emotional gratification from someone other than their partner BEHIND THEIR BACK AND WITHOUT THEIR CONSCENT. It isn't cheating when both of you willingly do it and both know what is happening when you do.
Be aware however, its one thing to "talk" about something, but its another to do it. You and your boyfriend may go into it thinking its just sex, a bit of harmless fun and both of you are accepting of the other being with other people, but once it starts and things start to happen you may suddenly find that you have this overwhelming feeling of heartache come over you and despite what you said before, you now feel as if you have been cheeted on.
Are your emotions or is the relationship strong enough to survive dealing with all of these kinds of things?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): hi dont do that if would be gay sex really
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): Umm . . . has anyone noticed that the girl's age is listed as 13-15?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): I say go for it. Sounds excititing. Wish my bf would ask me to do this...
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A
female
reader, Titania70  +, writes (12 October 2007):
This is always quite odd. Especially when you're a teenager. I'd go with the rest here and advise you not to do it (I guess you decided not to do it). It's a woman's fantasy to be with two men and not many guys are into that cos they find it threatening, yet it's hard to get involved in such a situation when you do not have enough experience. Good on ya for opting out of it whilst so young. Bless. I sound like my mother ;)
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female
reader, hotstuff  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 everyone here has told you not to do it, but the real desicion is up to you. if you don't want to then don't, I wouldn't advise it, but it is your life and your body! so respect it and if your bf doesn't then he doesn't deserve you! I don't think it would ruin your relationship if he is the one asking you to do it with them and him!, but you will have a bad reputation! so it comes down to this:
IF YOU WANT TO , IT IS UP TO YOU! DON'T LET OTHERS DECIDE YOUR PATH! IT IS YOUR DECISION, YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR BODY!!
RESPECT YOURSELF!!!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 October 2007):
 You are very welcome. Just keep in mind. It is your body, no one can dictate what you do with it. Reading some of these questions, you can tell with quite a few people, one decision can have a huge negative impact on your life, and once the decision is followed through, it can't be taken back.
Don't feel silly for asking a question. I have been to many motivational conferences, and some repeating 2 or 3 times. Sometimes we ask a question, not because we don't know the answer, but because we seek validation for our answer.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 October 2007):
You are very welcome. Just keep in mind. It is your body, no one can dictate what you do with it. Reading some of these questions, you can tell with quite a few people, one decision can have a huge negative impact on your life, and once the decision is followed through, it can't be taken back.
Don't feel silly for asking a question. I have been to many motivational conferences, and some repeating 2 or 3 times. Sometimes we ask a question, not because we don't know the answer, but because we seek validation for our answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for the nswers. yeah you did all reply as i thought you would well anyway i think now i was quite stupid to of asked. i shouldnt really of even concidered it me and my boyfriend have been together now for 11 months and i am 16 in just a few months. i think it would be a stupid ting to ruin our relation ship. thankyou again for your replies much appreiciated :)
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A
female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (4 October 2007):
he is disgusting and doesn't care bout you, otherwise he would not want to share or disgrace you like that, you'll get a name for yourself, he'll finish it and tell everyone, you are stupid if you do it, especially at your age.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): DO NOT DO IT !! Your BF is setting you up to break up with you, this will give him the reason.. I say if he truely loved and respected you there is NO WAY he would even ask you to do such a thing.. DUMP HIM NOW.. then if you really really want to do something such as that you could and not feel bad about it...
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male
reader, Dr D +, writes (1 October 2007):
to put it bluntly as everyone else has,
YOU ARE TOO YOUNG
a girl of your age should not have had sex yet let alone be considering an orgy and im sorry to say it but i find it pitiful that your bf actually asked you to do something as degrading as group sex.
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 Hi
No you shouldnt do this. You are too young and it will ruin your relationship, so dont.Think of other things you can do to exciten your relationship.
Regards
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (1 October 2007):
 Hi,
Sorry but he cant think much of you to even ask you to do it.
You say you are ready for sex and you have done it loads of times. Well all I can say that to even concider this at your age shows you are not.
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A
female
reader, Pinkbees09 +, writes (1 October 2007):
 Well your only about 14, way too young for sex let alone an orgy. Don't do it, people at your school will find out and it will be the embarassment of your life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): It's gross and degrading. I can't believe your bf asked you to do this, and that you didn't get offended & dump his ass. He must think of you as a slut. I mean come on, what are you going to do with three dicks? You will feel so dirty if you do this. And it will get around school. WHo respects girls who have had 3 dicks at the same time? Get some self respect for God's sake. Plus it will not even be enjoyable for you. You'll probably cry & feel really ashamed of yourself. Just imagine the scenario..it makes me ill thinking about it.
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female
reader, JackieR +, writes (30 September 2007):
 NO!!! Please don't do it, you will regret it, you are already having doubts so what does that say??
What reasons does you b/friend give for wanting you to do this, if he is saying 'it will spice up our sex life' or 'if you love me you will do it' then don't do it and dump him as he is using you for his own pleasure, do you really want a man like that??
If you still want to do that ask yourself why? and make sure you are useing loads of protection because i can guarentee your boyfriend isn't!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): You and your boyfriends relationship wouldn't be the only thing that got split . . think about it.
You're far too young for this. Don't even think about it. Dangerous game.
Phil
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): Excuse me how old are you? your between 13-15 and I think it's disgusting your even considering this.
There's lots of reasons why you shouldn't do this, your break up your relationship, people at school may find out and call you all sort of names, your way too young to consider doing this, it's against the law.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 September 2007):
you are too young to consider having this.
yes it could split you up, and it's probably not like having gay sex, it's usually one girl with all the guys. It's not so much the cheating either. One thing that I'd worry about is what happens afterwards. Children your age love to talk. If they do something cool, they tell all their friends about it. You have a commitment to your boyfriend, he has one to you, the other boys have no emotional attachment to either of you. You'd be walking in school and have the guys whispering "that's that one girl I was telling you about" as the story grows people who know your boyfriend "why would you want to be with her, that is gross" so then your boyfriend will begin doubting his relationship with you. That one ends. Now you're ready for a new boyfriend, you may find one who's into the kinky, orgie things, but everyone who's not, you might as well cross them off your list of choices to go out with you.
What you decide to do develops how others see you. Doing something like this especially at your age even though you may be a nice person people will view you as "slut" first, and "nice person" second. This is not a reputation that just disappears. There are girls in their 30's I went to school with who are still viewed that way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): Your too young and imature for something like this. With all the STDs out there you'll be taking an even bigger risk. Your boyfriend must not have much respect for you being that he's so willing to share you with his buddies. You shouldn't even consider this. You should think hard about this, he is degrading you and your reputation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): Well if you are interested and up for it, I think it would be the perfect opportunity to really sit down with your significant other and really discuss the situation and if gets that far, lay down the ground rules.
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