A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Everyone I need your help!Please if anyone can give me answers i need em. Ive been dating my bf for a little more than half a year. Its been amazing none the less but we are getting in to more and more fights!Its unbareable! And to make matters worse one of my friends just confessed his feelings to me.This is extremely bad because my friend also has another friend who likes me....Guys this is so bad. Ive never EVER had so many guys wanting me and i already have too much stuff going on in my life and i dont know what to do HELP!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (8 August 2007):
If these outbursts were just here and there, it would be fine. But if he's controlling you this much in every aspect of your life, it is destined to end.
Go see your friends. That is not unacceptable. Have a life outside of him, but still show that you are willing to be part of the relationship, just not under lock and key. Don't ask him, just say, "I'm hanging out with _____ today." No doubt it will spark another fight, but do it and don't feel guilty. If he's too immature to accept this, that is his problem and not yours. If he can't deal with it, he'll have to move on.
He has to realize that there is a difference between holding on and holding on with a vice-like grip and that the more forceful his grip is, the more it actually pushes you away.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): Relax. jeez. Three different guys like you and that is a PROBLEM? I don't get it. When I was your age (three yrs ago) I lived in NYC and my phone was off the hook with guys calling and asking me out to dinner, and parties, all the time. It's called being young. And it's supposed to be FUN not a drag. Stop stressing. Enjoy it.
As for your boyfriend, if you really love him why are you worrying about these other guys?
On the other hand, half a year is like your honeymoon period. For you guys to be fighting so much, or at all, so soon is weird. Something to think about.
But you have to stop stressing and be firm on your decision of what you want to do. Do you want to be with your boyfriend or not? If you do, you shouldn't be worrying about any other guys but him. And if you don't want to be with him you have two suitors who would go out with you at the drop of a hat. luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): Thanks guys,
yes i do love him. But he IS trying to controll me. I never hang out with my friends anymore.(im a really big tomboy and most of my friends are guys)Its getting bad. And i do have sort of a crush on one of the people who like me. I even said i was gonna go for a walk to clear my head just to gauge his reaction and he said,"what ever you need to clear your head, buit please for your sake and mine be safe!" my bf on the other hand said "NO i dont care if it clears your head, walk around your house"
And GRR! Its kinda upseting but my bf and I have our great day too.
Any Other Suggestions?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): Well the same exacact thing happened with my girlfriend and I. We have been dating for around six months and around the last month we had just been arguing and fighting about it seemed like everything everyday. It wasnt one persons fault over the other we were just both being dumb. What we did and it seemed to work, so im recommending you should just both decided to just sit down one day, alone, and explain everything that bothered eachother, that the other one did. But you have to make sure that neither of you get offended, or raise your voice, cause your not looking down on the person its just nobody is perfect, and talking about it gets stuff out of the way so when you get into little arguments they dont grow. If you both truly want to stick together it will work out just fine. Once my girlfriend and I did this we havent had a single argument in a couple of weeks and everything is going amazing. You guys just need to talk it all out. Hope it works out for the best.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (8 August 2007):
 The fact other guys like you is a given. IF you're interested in your current relationship you have to get that out of your head. It means nothing. If you're looking for a change, then you could use the same information to help you to decide that there other opportunities that might interest you. It depends what spin you want to put on it. If you decide to leave him, don't jump right into another guys arms though. That makes you look bad and really doesn't help you as far as meeting new guys is concerned. Relationships are what you make of them.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (8 August 2007):
Yeah, despite the fighting, how do you feel about him? How does he truly feel about you? What are the fights about, is he trying to control you or what?
Talk about it, tell him you've been thinking of ending it and see what he says. It might make things better, maybe temporarily, or it might make things worse. If things keep going like this and it is unbearable, end it. That doesn't mean to jump into the arms of one of the other guys though. In fact, with everything going on, you may even need to just get a breather and take a braek from dating. And if you do end your relationship and not want to date, don't lead these other guys on, that is the worst thing you can do and it may cause you to lose those friends.
That being said, what are your feelings for these other guys? Don't end this one just because now you have options. Some people are different as friends than they are as lovers. This could be good or it could be bad.
The answer lies in you being honest with yourself. Be honest with your reasons to stay in this relationship or in ending it. And be honest on how you feel about the other ones.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): someone once told me that if you are arguing in the honeymoon stage then what will the future be like. it makes sense but it also depends on what you are arguing about. my sister argued in the beginning with her husband and now they've been married for fifteen years. but then, he does leave for six to seven months at a time so who knows what life would be like for them if he was around all the time. I would look objectively at things and maybe even get a councellor to talk to so you can put your thoughts out there and make realistic decisions. good luck and remember, love is supposed to feel good.....:)
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male
reader, no_one_should_feel_that +, writes (8 August 2007):
Do you love your BF that you have right now? you sometime have argues with your couple and it is normal ... you could always try and talk with him......... most promblems can be fixxed by talking your way through it and it helps to talk ........ and if he trys to fight with you then walk away and dont talk with him til he calms down ... but make sure he knows you have been thinking of leaving him for someone else and he will feel like talking with you but he might try to fight with you ..all you do is talk when he is calm but dont talk when he gets into a argue with you just walk away and let him calm down.......but tell him why you have been thinking of breaking up......
best of luck and i hope you get something good out of this .....
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