A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:[Note from Mod: Two questions from same poster]I have run out of options. I feel so run down. I am dead inside and so confused. My boyfriend will curse at me...accuse me of infidelity...throw things at me...spit on me...call me derogatory names...and then when I raise my voice, tell me that I am the abuser.I don't know where to go. When he would attack me in our closet (verbally) and try to break in last summer, I would try to call a hotline and he would call the number back to see if I was "calling some guy". His cycle of niceness to meanness really throws me for loops and as soon as I build up strength to leave, he has cried and I come back because I do love him...I am scared of him...and I do not know where else to go...and he tells me how lucky I am to have him and I believe him.Now that he has started to call me the abuser, I have quietly explained that my coldness towards him is not abuse, it is my defense to try and not be hurt again. He is adamant that I am the abuser.Please...where can I go? what can I do? Then usually one day later if I do not have sex with him he tells me that I am the abuser for withholding sex from him. I have told him that I am scared of him and he tells me that I am pathetic.I tell my boyfriend that he scares me because he can be very sweet then very abusive. I started to cry when he gave me a kiss and yesterday was telling me that I am a wh*re and told him not to touch me because he terrifies me. He got angry and told me that I read too much. We have been together a year and a half and he tells me that my sour mood that lasts for the remainder of the day after being accused of "f*cking some guy in the stairwell at work" because I missed a call from him is rude to him. Help....
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): hello there. take it from me i've ben there. xactly as you describe. do not waste your time with this loser. he is the abuser not you! he wants you to think your crazy. he is not a secure person thats why he brings you dowwwn. you will be wasting your time with this one and your not getting any younger. you deserve better. no man should call you names and accuse you of f-ing who knows who . stand up for you no one else will.
A
male
reader, adamskidude  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 Get out of their :)
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (25 October 2009):
Dump this guy asap. He is an abuser. You need to stop seeing him NOW.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (24 October 2009):
DUMP THIS ASSHOLE.... Why in God's name do you LOVE him? He sounds like one of the most vial people on this earth. It sounds as if he's beaten you down so much that you're now taking the side of the abuser.GET OUT while you can, and before he does serious bodily harm to you. Your NOT supposed to be terrified of you BF, your not supposed to be spit on, yeld at, accused of cheating, have things thrown at you... was this the kind of realtionship you grew up dreaming about? What's made you so blind that you can't get the hell out?TAKE ACTION!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): Run as fast as you can hes not normal has issues maybe a bad childhood. One guy treated me like that and my brothers paid a visit to him. So have some class you deserve better, get out. He has problems and treats women badly it wont ever change. Thats not a normal relationship to be in, most men are not like that at all. Be loved adored and cherished forever. No free sex, no free takking care of him. You ant help him. Its not your fault either. He will beat you down until your nothing, would your parents like that no. So move on and break up with him, he will say anything to get you back but dont, he needs medication maybe bipolar. You cn do better, you know you can. mr. right is out there and he is the one who is sweet.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 October 2009):
This guy isn't sweet at all. He isn't nice, he isn't kind. Everything that you think is good or sweet is merely an act to keep you. He is a disgusting man who is abusing you and destroying you. So here's a reality check, that's a little blunt. If you want kids, a safe home to go to, a husband who will leave you, leave this man NOW. If you want to be nothing but third best in someone's life, and probably end up severely mentally and physically damaged, then stay. Leave now. You're not lucky at all. You're being abused by a very maniputalive man who will hurt you and nothing else as long as you're with him. Get out now, and get some counselling to make sure you understand how you feel, and to make sure you won't fall into the arms of another man like him. Good luck
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