A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I had a row with my bf last nite (we have been together only 2 months) and it was over nothing - mostly my fault. But when I tried to apologise he told me to F%*K off in front of his friends and I left the bar in tears.Usually when we argue I contact him the next day to apologise but today I havent. He tried to ring me last nite after I had gone but I didnt answer. I like him so, so much and I'm so tempted to contact him but I dont wanna be seen as the one thats 'under the thumb'.Should I move on and forget or try to make up?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sassister  +, writes (16 September 2007):
Please move on. This is a sign of an abusive relationship and it will only get worse.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Well, you need to talk to him, and sort this out. But you should make it clear that him telling you to f*ck off or anything of the sort, especially in public, will not stand. I assume you were both drunk, and people do/say things when they're drunk that they normally wouldn't so I can't judge him as a jerk. I also don't know the situation as to what happened to make him say that to you. But he did try calling you, so call him & talk it over.
...............................
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (14 September 2007):
 leave before you get too emotionally involved with him. mutual respect and understanding are vital for a relationship and he clearly has none for you. my ex always talked down to me in front of his mates and foolishly i put up with it for 5 months, and he ended up cheating on me. some guys have manners, others, don't. you're young - you'll find someone worthy of your respect. best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, becca78 +, writes (14 September 2007):
You said it was mostly your fault - Why? Was it really your fault or are you just thinking that you must have done something really bad to make him react that way? Maybe he over reacted? Also you left the bar clearly upset, if he really cares for you surely he would have followed you to make sure you were ok? I think you can do better
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (14 September 2007):
 Hi there Anonymous,
At first I was going to say that you should leave. But then I started thinking about it and wondering what happened before he decided to say that to you.
What were you arguing about?
What did you say to him that would make him want to react in this way?
How many drinks did the both of you have?
Was this the first argument you've had that resulted in him saying this?
I think that you two should talk with one another. Decide on certain things. For example, if you think the argument happened because you were both a bit tipsy, perhaps you could make a compromise not to drink so much in the future. (Well, whatever works out for the both of you, doesn't necessarily have to be the example I just gave.)
But if he did this while totally sober and was just being an ass when you didn't really instigate anything, then you might want to reconsider the relationship.
But the good news that I can see is that:
1. You said the argument was mostly your fault (so he wasn't just all of a sudden a jerk)
2. He tried calling you that night. (My thought is to either apologize or talk about what happened.)
If I were in your shoes, I'd pick up the phone and call him. He already tried to get in touch with you. Plus, you both seem to have had an equal share in the event - you said it was your fault and your boyfriend made the nasty remark that really hurt you.
If after you try to talk things through and you still don't like the way things are going, that's when you should make a decision whether or not to move on, at least in my opinion.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp +, writes (14 September 2007):
 You are more than "under the thumb" girlfriend. He obviously has no respect for you whatsoever and I think that you should "move on". He doesn't sound like the type of guy any woman would actually WANT to be with. If my boyfriend had told me to do what yours did, I can't see him lasting long with me. Honestly, just move on. Find someone who treats you right and makes you smile, not cry.
...............................
|
