A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend constantly downs on me. Calling me immature. Selfish. Closed minded. Insecure etc and says all of this is driving him away from me. Yet he won't realize that its his actions causing me to act this way and feel the way I do. He talks to girls that are supposed to be just friends but send him dirty texts. Call him at all hours of the morning. Talk bad about me and try and convince him to break up with me. All of a sudden out of nowhere a new girl here and there will appear but she's an "old friend" etc. I feel that they are crossing their line as "friends" and he sees it as I'm ridiculously insecure and if he wanted another girl he wouldn't be with me. Not only is it the issue with the girls crossing their line its the fact that he has lied to me a lot in the past. He continues to tell white lies and hide things from me. He sees it as he doesn't have to volunteer every detail of information to me. Its hard for me to trust him sometimes because he's so willing to lie and try and hide things and it makes me wonder what else is he hiding or what else is he lying to me about. Every time we fight he threatens to break up with me. Saying his heart can't take it anymore. He can't do it anymore but to be honest with you I am doing nothing wrong and doing nothing to cause him to say these things to me. I feel that he's unhappy with me and doesn't want to be with me and I don't know what to do. I've battled this back and forth for weeks now and I just can't come to a conclusion. I've tried to talk to him about it and tell him exactly how I feel and he believes once again its just because I'm insecure. Its like he's not willing to admit he has done any wrong or does any wrong. Its like every problem this relationship has is all my fault because I have flaws like every normal human being does. I mean I've given so much into this relationship and I love him with absolutely everything and I'm not willing to just throw it away but how am I supposed to help him understand how I'm feeling? How am I supposed to make it clear that his actions are shady to me and are upsetting me without him throwing it in my face that I'm insecure and threatning to break up with me?
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 I know you love him and it is hard to let go but I'm sure you see how one sided things are.
The love has to go both ways and he isn't loving towards you at all.
I doubt you would treat someone you love the way he treats you. Think about how you would respond if your sister or best friend told you what you have told us here.
As hard as it is to do, I think you know deep down what needs to be done.
Best wishes! xo
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Hi, let me offer you this piece of advice, whenever asking for advice you have to be open to hearing things you may not want to hear....it is then your job to think about the advice given and see if any of it applies here to your situation, if it does, then great questions answered...if it doesn't then there may be things you can take away from it anyway to learn about what not to do or whom not to date.
I don't think there is enough information here to determine if the fault lies entirely with your boyfriend becasue he is narcissistic, my gut instint is that this may be your issues just as your boyfriend indicates...you may be immature, to demanding, and expect too much from him when he is clearly telling you that he wants to break up with you when you fight....he is telling you something about himself here, he is not really equipped to handle a serious relationship. Ten months is not that long to have invested in this thing, and if it is this hard now, it may be an indication that the time is not right, the two of you aren't compatible and may want different things.
The only way to communicate better is to be honest about what you want, ask him to stay on topic and to quit insulting and criticizing you, and if he can't do that then there is nothing more you can do....
Women make a lot of mistakes dealing with men in relationships because men are confusing and they are different than us, their behavior does not always mean what we think it does and we are also guilty of having an issue which is called 'relationship debt". It is when we give and give to the relationship and then we take the resentful attitude that the man "owes" us the relationship we want and we want it now. This drives men away faster than a fire under his ass....
If you want some decent advice on how to handle your man, there is some pretty good advice in the books about Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches....the title is sort of tongue in cheek, it is not about being a bitch, it is about being an independent thinking woman who values herself and doesn't put up with any crap from a man....I think this would help you in life if not this situation.
Frankly, your boyfriend does sound like a jerk, and a jerk is someone who won't commit after 10 months when you want them to....unless you are fine with him being shady, your word for screwing around with other women, then he is not the guy for you....so unless you can be independent and date other men and allow him to be single as well, you are not going to keep this guy....maybe it is time to cut your losses and move on. Take care dear....and you are full of rage at people who cared enough to take the time to answer you, and I agree your anger is really for your boyfriend, direct it where it is due, he deserves it, not the aunts.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 I'm retracting my original statements, its apparent that you and your guy are very well suited, although people can be too similar sometimes.
Some of your comments..
[quote] I want nothing more than my relationship to work out between us but he's leaving me no other option except to break up with him. He isn't willing to listen to anything I have to say. He isn't willing ....
Hmmmmm i'm not evn going to bother quoting any further on that paragraph.
[quote] you act like shallow immature children and start calling him names and saying he has mental disorders.
Hmmmmm mental dissorders? No one said he was mental, merely that he was a clever manipulator, You are either both control freaks or you've proved what a good job he's done on you.
[quote] What if it was found your girlfriend or your boyfriend was on a website talking about your relationship business.
Hmmmmmm would be almost as bad as if your boyfriend was quite obviously bad mouthing you to his txt birds for them to be telling him to dump you... oh ...wait..
I feel for you. It wont get any better...
C xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): I do feel for you; you are in terrible emotional turmoil; you are hurting and you know what you have to do; but it seems so difficult; yes it will hurt; yes you were hoping he will change; the advise given to you here on this site, was not to upset you, but to try and help you;
I think you are so use to defending his actions; you are always justifying it to yourself; you are trying to blame yourself and when you heard some truths, it hurts; you are so use to accepting and make excuses for the abuse that it is difficult for you to look at the real picture;
I refer you to my origanal reply and your first answer on that; right in the begining of this posting;
I understand you hurting; you are upset; but nobody here is intentionally trying to hurt you; we only want what is best for you;
yes, the hurt inside you, the anger, the confusion and the uncertainties, it is difficult to deal with; but we are here; we will guide you with advise and assistance if you are willing to allow us; yes, sometimes when we hurt we say things we don't mean; I truelly hope that was the case with you; I hope you will calm down and realize; we want what is best for you; your well being is important to us;
I suggest you do as I suggested in my first reply.
I add it here again:
Vow, I have empathy with you.
This guy is treating you so unfairly; from what I read, he is creating and causing you to have insecurities; which I can understand, as you do not trust him; and from what I have read, there seems reason why you do not trust him.
You cannot built a healthy longterm relationship if there is lies and dishonesty; if there is no trust;
I suggest you have to really look at the situation very seriously; you are not getting from this relationship what you deserve; on top of it, this guy seems to playing with your emotions;
I suggest you "give up" on this guy; the way things are with the two of you; there is no longterm future of HAPPINESS; get out, MOVE ON; find somebody that will value you and respect you; somebody that will care for your feelings;
You are wasting your life and time with this guy; believe me your "love" for him is not enough to sove the probelms;
I suggest you break with him; yes it will be difficult, but get out there; meet other people; there is a guy out there that will love you; treat you with respect; not lie to you; somebody that you can trust;
Don't put up with this; you deserve better!
Be strong!
Your reply:
This is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thank you for your responses. In my mind I know that its best for us to go our seperate ways believe me I do. We don't have a healthy relationships and after 10 months of me constantly trying to voice my opinions and it getting nowhere I know he's not going to change but my heart won't let me go. No matter how many times I've tried to brace myself to tell him we aren't working out anymore my heart won't let me go. I mean I love this guy so much its hard for me to even make you understand how much I care for him. I want nothing more than my relationship to work out between us but he's leaving me no other option except to break up with him. He isn't willing to listen to anything I have to say. He isn't willing to try and see things from my point of view and understand why I'm upset and its a waste of emotion and breath. I really don't want to leave him because it will just completely devastate me and take me a long time to get over it but that may be just what I have to do. I just hope if thats what I decide to do I can make it through that.
I know it is difficult and you are scared and unsure; I know that you might think that by hanging in there it might change; BUT IT WILL NOT;
the only thing that is happening; you are getting hurt more; losing your self esteem more; will become more and more insecure; will become a complete victim.
THink about yur life; your FUTURE.
Be strong; You are in my thoughts; you are welcome to talk any time!
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A
female
reader, XxAnGelXxx +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Judging by whats already said and whats been said back, your not gonna like this but seriously girl! Get a grip! You may love him yea? But he is not good for you. He aint worth the bother.. Ok so you love him and want to fight for that love but your obviously not getting anywhere, he's not interested in understanding you or your points of view. Any girl would deserve so much better than that in a relationship. Its obvious that he's up to something. My advice, get rid of him before things become worse and you end up getting even more hurt.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (23 June 2008):
"Just because somebody lies and just because somebody acts shady doesn't mean you should throw them out like yesterdays trash and give up on them."
Um doesnt he threaten to dump you???? Everytime you fight he makes that threat. seems to me like he can throw you out like a piece of trash any day if it suits him. He doesnt have that oh so deep loyalty that you have for him, to you does he now? Why be so loyal to an abuser who will just throw you away likea piece of chewing gum?
You said you came here for advice on how to make him understand better and so on. Well you have already done it all havent you?
The point that I made in my first reply was that you cannot make an abuser think or act logically or even change. They will blame it on you all the time. So thats why, I and many other people probably suggested you leave the relationship behind. As long as he gets away with this behaviour, the longer he will do it. And you enable him to treat you badly by staying with him. Thats why leaving him is a crucial step in showing him you will not put up with it.
I agree that you should not just give up on a relationship easily, but walking away from an abusive relationship is not somethign to be ashamed of. and staying in a unhealthy and hurtful realtiosnhip is not something to be proud of either. it will only do more damage to you.
I understand you want to be loyal and commited to your bf, but there comes a time when you SHOULD NOT do this, and in your case this is it because he abuses you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): I'm really sorry you have not liked the advice given, and it wasn't our intention to offend, but what else can we say.
"I feel that he's unhappy with me and doesn't want to be with me and I don't know what to do." ... Ms anonymous
"Its hard for me to trust him sometimes because he's so willing to lie and try and hide things and it makes me wonder what else is he hiding or what else is he lying to me about." ..... Ms anonymous
"How am I supposed to make it clear that his actions are shady to me and are upsetting me without him throwing it in my face that I'm insecure and threatning to break up with me?" ..... Ms anonymous
What would you tell your best friend, your sister or your daughter if she told you this. What would you advise her to do? You don't like our answers, then think of some answers that you prefer better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): "Yes he does lie and yes he's been a continuous liar for a few months. Yes he acts shady and yes he says hurtful things".......Ms anonymous
The only type of woman that would defend such a man is somebody who is in an abusive relationship and trying to hide it from the world. You misunderstand my reasons for hoping he leaves. You wrote to us because you've been unhappy with his behaviour, you love him and wont leave, therefore I hope he carries out his promise to leave you and thus save you from being hurt any longer. The advice I have given remains the same. There is nothing you have said in your update that causes me to change my mind.
"What can you do to get him to change, nothing. He won't change, why should he. Your willing to put up with bad behaviour for the sake of your "love". He can do anything he likes because you know and we know that you, at least, will never leave."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou know just because he treats me wrong and just because he does things that give a bad reputation in others eyes doesn't mean I don't have the right to stand up for him and defend him out of love. What kind of decent girlfriend talks bad about her boyfriend just because she's upset with him and disagrees with things he does? I would expect him to stand up for me and give credit where credit is due. Any person with common sense and compassion stands up for people when its necessary. Yes he does lie and yes he's been a continuous liar for a few months. Yes he acts shady and yes he says hurtful things but at the end of the day I do truly love him and we share great moments. Just because somebody lies and just because somebody acts shady doesn't mean you should throw them out like yesterdays trash and give up on them. If that were the case none of us would have boyfriends / girlfriends or even friends. Everybody lies. Everybody hides things and everybody acts shady and some point and time in their lives. The point of my question wasn't that I wanted to leave him and I needed advice on how to do so. My question was how to communicate better with him to help him understand how I'm feeling because I'm not just going to throw away the past 10 months and give up on him that easy no matter what others have to say. To wish our relationship to end and to hope he does cheat on me and leave me for a diffrent girl is just plain out rude and hurtful. If I don't want to leave him then I don't want to and I don't have to. Denial or whatever you may call it. Its hard to make you people understand what I mean and exactly how I'm feeling but hey thats okay because I don't have to explain a damn thing to you. If I didn't want the advice given I wouldn't have asked for it but that does not mean I have to agree with what you are saying. Almost every post I've read in the past hour has been convincing girls their boyfriends are losers and they need to leave him as soon as possible because for some reason every girl on this site dates a loser that abuses her and hurts her. That in itself instills self esteem issues and causes problems for a relationship that may have never had a real problem in the first place. Some of you did make some valid points that yes I agree with and some of you infuriated me with the audacity you have. I didn't come here treating others with disrespect and I'll be damned if I recieve it in return.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Sorry I think the correct link is http://www.dearcupid.org/question/warning-signs-youre-dating-a-loser
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (23 June 2008):
To the original poster-
I do not belevieve that Ask Older Sister who called your bf a narcissist was trying to 'bash him'. If a counsellor lables a person a narcissist or something that is not bashing is it?!
You seem like you are in denial to me, because if you HONESTLY wanted to help yourself, you would listen to what people are telling you, that your bf has narcissistic CHARACTERTISTICS, not saying he is one, but he does have the charactertistics of one, which could mean he is. If you want the best for yourself, listen to what people are saying and take a look into narcissm. No one here is qualified to say your bf is a narcissist, but we are able to recognise that he has MANY charactertistics of one, it does not take a pro to know that.
Dont take it to heart. I mean come on, your bf BASHES YOU VERBALLY, but you put up wiht it. You putting up with it, tells your bf its OK. It says that you are not worth more. But whne someone says something negative about your bf which is true, you make out as if thats not acceptable.
And one final point, ask older sister called your bf manipulative, lying, hurtful and narccisstic. Those dont sound like bashing words to me. Bashing words would be like 'hes a f*cking d*ckhead' or smething along those lines. The truth remains that he DOES hurt you, so he is hurtful, he is manipulative, he does lie, so he is a liar and he has charactertisics of narccism.
This isa good website about narcissm for anyone who wants to know more.
http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/20traitsofmalignantnarcissism1.msnw
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Hi Ms anonymous,
You think the advice given here is BS, but we have given you advice based on what you yourself have writen.
Your situation dosen't look very good. In your own words your boyfriend is a continual liar who cannot be trusted. No wonder you don't believe him when he says these girls are his friends. But even if they are his friends, you have every right to be upset if they're sending him dirty texts and telling him to leave you.
Not only does your boyfriend lie to you, but as you say he constantly puts you down, ignores your feelings, and refuses to change. Any time you bring up your valid concerns he threatens to leave. You yourself have said this relationship is not healthy. But what you don't know is that we have seen many such stories such as yours. This man is very damaging to your mental health and your emotional self-esteem. Eventually you will believe everything he says and will start to believe that you are insecure, immature, selfish and closed minded.
You love him, but I would ask dose he love you. I see little sign of love in the words he says to you. You want to stay with this man and try to get this relationship to work, no matter what. He on the other hand is willing to walk out if you continue nagging and bothering him. What kind of love is that, what kind of love allows him to say cruel and hurtfull words and ignore your very real upset.
You think you know better than the aunts who advised you that something wrong with this person. Well they're only giving you the correct advice as they see it. It would be cruel and dishonest for them to say anything other than leave this messed up man. Your response is something we also see. You give us details of how badly you are treated and when we agree you turn on us and defend your man. Classic signs of an abused woman. You justfy the bad treatment cause not to do so would make you feel your stupid for getting yourself into such a bad situation.
This guy is a LOSER (see this link) http://www.dearcupid.org/question/warning-signs-youre-dating-a-loser.html. I hope he does leave you for one of these girls he prefers talking to, for the sake of your own sanity. You've asked for advice, well it has been given, and everybody here (including yourself) thinks the same thing. What can you do to get him to change, nothing. He won't change, why should he. Your willing to put up with bad behaviour for the sake of your "love". He can do anything he likes because you know and we know that you, at least, will never leave.
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A
female
reader, Amsieee(: +, writes (22 June 2008):
 i sorta agree with what your saying but these people set out to help you and if you dont want there opionion do not ask for it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou know so much for asking adults for help. Instead of offering helpful answers you act like shallow immature children and start calling him names and saying he has mental disorders. Let me ask you this. What if it was found your girlfriend or your boyfriend was on a website talking about your relationship business. Bad enough in its self. Even worse that everybody out there proceeded to call you names and bash you? You're exactly right. No matter how flat a pancake has two sides. So you know what thanks for reading my post and taking time out of your obviously busy day to bash my boyfriend but it was uncalled for. Huge difference in constructive criticism and being plain out rude and having no idea what you're talking about. If I would have actually listened to this BS advice I would have ruined something over nothing.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (22 June 2008):
Ewwww that was just my ex to a t you described there lol
Never took responsibility for anything (and that was things that even i wasn't involved in, ie..his financial and occupational mess) everything was out of his hands and someone elses fault. And i always told him i felt everyone in his life had a purpose. He had me doing his washing, ironing, accounts, cleaning his house. And i never asked for anything in return. Probably twice i did, and he never got round to them.
I remember a time when everyone was skint, we're heading for a resession after all here in the Uk, and i didn't want to go for a chinese meal, he talked me into it saying it was his treat (very rare) he ended up getting a parking ticket there, on the way home i had already said i was going to pay it because he had paid for the meal, yet he still commented it was my fault he got it, bad khama he blamed it on! because i had origionally said we shouldn't go because we were skint :o?
Sorry i'm babbling lol i will go read that other article you mentioned.
xxxx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (22 June 2008):
This is interesting!
http://www.sedonapsychicreading.com/narcissism-energyvampires.php
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (22 June 2008):
Hi Askoldersister.
Do narcassists know what they are doing? Or are they completely right in their minds and everyone else is wrong? Fascinates me that disorder, heard lots about it, but thats one thing i dont know about it.
Going to go and look it up on google right now actually!
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (22 June 2008):
Sounds like you have a compulsive liar on your hands to me. They even convince themselves they are nice people. And to the outside world and even their own family, they are. Narcissists i think they are called. Its a personality disorder. And it doesn't matter what you say, it wont sink in, it will ALWAYS be your fault, and not his. Run as fast as you can!
He will say you're paranoid, you're an untrusting person, you have issues from the past, If you had children, he would be telling you you're a bad parent and you cant cope and how he can help you if you let him. They beat every ounce of confidence out of you until you are a wreck and totally dependant on them and would never think anyone else would want you in a million yrs. Ewwwwwwww when i think of the crap i heard my ex saying to me. Makes me cringe now!
He's lied in the past, you dont trust him, something keeps telling you the guy is a rogue, dodgy is the word i felt about my ex, you cant put your finger on it, but you just sense he's bent as a nine bob note.
Ive been there before, and the reason you're feeling like that, is because he isn't to be trusted, and you know it. One day i hope you dont have to have him go to physically attack you like my ex did me..
Even after that, my ex wanted to stay 'friends'. keeps them in there, able to control you see. Luckily for me, he went on holiday for 2 weeks and by the time he came back, i had moved on and didn't even want him as a mate anymore. And my head had cleared and my confidence returned, i realised what a user he actually was, even just as a friend.
He rings now n then and i dont answer. He cant txt as my phone has a block numbers function for txt, its great hehe
Break the spell he's got and cut your losses of the last 10 months and get out! seriously! He's a manipulator and you deserve better! Trust those instincts.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): There are two sides to a pancake no matter how flat it is.
You seem to think that you have done nothing wrong in the relationship, but did you ever think you may be over doing things by working so hard at the relationship? You do so much, and you resent the hell out of him for not giving you the relationship you want...but he is telling you he can't give you what you want, him exclusively only talking to you. This kind of resentment eats at any relationship and it is a viscous circle, he doesn't want to do more because you don't trust him, you are possibly nagging at him to change....you have to do the changing, you don't talk it to death, you set boundaries and give him the gift of missing you if he doesn't toe the line so to speak, leave, go out with your friends, work more workout take up a hobby but don't rely on this man to be responsible for your every happiness...he will respect you more, possibly see what he may be losing and decide to step up to the plate and if he doesn't you don't want to waste any more of your time or emotions on an immature, emotionally unavailable boy, not man.
He has female friends....and if he is doing something shady then you don't put up with it you don't work harder at it, you set your boundaries and leave the relationship because it isn't what you want, he isn't what you want so do yourselves both a favor and end this thing....
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Be strong! You can do it; and yes you will survive; it will be difficult and yes it is never easy to break; but it ain't going to get easier in the future and he is not going to offer you a future. The sooner you realize you are at a dead end with this guy the better; he is using and abousing you!
You deserve to get out; heal and then in time when you are ready meet somebody who will appreciate yu and love you; treat you with respect and experience the joy and beauty of a proper relationship.
You are in my thoughts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. In my mind I know that its best for us to go our seperate ways believe me I do. We don't have a healthy relationships and after 10 months of me constantly trying to voice my opinions and it getting nowhere I know he's not going to change but my heart won't let me go. No matter how many times I've tried to brace myself to tell him we aren't working out anymore my heart won't let me go. I mean I love this guy so much its hard for me to even make you understand how much I care for him. I want nothing more than my relationship to work out between us but he's leaving me no other option except to break up with him. He isn't willing to listen to anything I have to say. He isn't willing to try and see things from my point of view and understand why I'm upset and its a waste of emotion and breath. I really don't want to leave him because it will just completely devastate me and take me a long time to get over it but that may be just what I have to do. I just hope if thats what I decide to do I can make it through that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Vow, I have empathy with you.
This guy is treating you so unfairly; from what I read, he is creating and causing you to have insecurities; which I can understand, as you do not trust him; and from what I have read, there seems reason why you do not trust him.
You cannot built a healthy longterm relationship if there is lies and dishonesty; if there is no trust;
I suggest you have to really look at the situation very seriously; you are not getting from this relationship what you deserve; on top of it, this guy seems to playing with your emotions;
I suggest you "give up" on this guy; the way things are with the two of you; there is no longterm future of HAPPINESS; get out, MOVE ON; find somebody that will value you and respect you; somebody that will care for your feelings;
You are wasting your life and time with this guy; believe me your "love" for him is not enough to sove the probelms;
I suggest you break with him; yes it will be difficult, but get out there; meet other people; there is a guy out there that will love you; treat you with respect; not lie to you; somebody that you can trust;
Don't put up with this; you deserve better!
Be strong!
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (22 June 2008):
Your bf is abusing you darling!!! What he is doing is soooooo wrong and you deserve to have a bf who is not like this at all.
His blaming you for everything, the put downs and name calling, the lies, threats (to break up with you) and disrespect he shows you is all abuse.
Hes trying to control you. He wants to get away with being things that he KNOWS is NOT OK, such as dirty texts from "friends". Whether they are friends or more, it doesnt mattter because dirty texts are not appropiate even if they are just to 'friends'. Now he is controlling you by blaming it all on you. He tries to make out that YOU are at fault, that its all your problem and not his. Then he tells you to basically get over it, if not, he will break up with you - thats a threat and a form of control to get you to put up with his WRONG behaviour.
I hope you can see this for what it truly is.
I hope you realise that you are wayyyy to good for your bf. From your post I think you seem liek a veyr nice and good person, who is smart. And you do know that you are in the right and he is in the wrong.
My advice to you is to leave this relationship. Hes abusive and its impossible to make a relationship work when there is abuse involved. And I dont think you can get him to change because he isnt willing to own up to any thing bad that he does, so unless he acknowledges that, nothing can change. Walk away before it gets worst. The longer you stay the more damage this will do to your self esteem.
Check out this web site for great advice on abuse: http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/index.htm
Take care
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A
female
reader, Amsieee(: +, writes (22 June 2008):
grr..!! what is it with guys saying that its him not you!! tell him to sort himself out! girl you can do better if this guys is doing all that! xxx
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