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female
,
*heskycastle
writes: I'm in a distant relationship with my boyfriend. He calls me every night just to talk about what happen at work and such. I like the idea that he'll call me everynight. However, I feel like I'm always the one talking, and he's just listening. He told me he's not a talkative kind, and sometimes, he just want to hear my voice before going to bed. Yesterday, I asked him how his day went, and he told me he had an argument with his brother and he's not very happy. I tried asking him what exactly happen, but he just said it's about stupid stuff. But he's sad that maybe he's the one at fault and not his brother. I said, alright... thinking: What do you mean by "stuff"... I feel if he wants to tell me about it, he would have already done it. So I didn't ask any further. I feel so distant literally and emotionally sometimes. I know if I was there, he would have told me about it, or a big hug will give him a lot of comfort. Is it a guy thing that they don't like to explain in details, or is it because he doesn't want to talk about it because it will make him upset again? I know being a girl, I like to tell my friends this an that so I can actually let it out. I don't know what I should do next time. I really want to help.
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female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Listen it is probably just in his nature like it is in a lot of lads, girls are more emotional and express their feelings a lot more than guys do, in general anyways. Not just our stressors but also the things that excite us and make us happy etc, we show them better. Men, in fact every person, deals with things in their own way. It might be that he doesn't want to worry you or it might be that he doesn't want you to see his brother badly because of the argument...just be happy that he told you about it and let you know in his own way that he was sad so that you could just try and comfort him or cheer him up. Leave him to it, if its something that you need to know he will tell you in his own time so stop worrying!!! The next time you sense he's sad say that he sounds down and maybe he needs cheering up, make him laugh or just tell him about your day...generally lads like to hear excitement or laughter in our voices when we are telling them about our day!!! BEST OF LUCK!
A
female
reader, poly_ethylene +, writes (8 September 2006):
 I'm not entirely sure if you mean that your relationship is literally long distance, but I'm going to assume that's what you mean (I'm sorry if I got it wrong!). My last boyfriend was not much of a phone person, and I can really relate to this situation, especially as we spent a year on opposite sides of the country. I imagine that this is the case with your partner, especially when you say that if you were with him he would discuss it with you openly.
It's frustrating to feel like you can't help someone you care about, but when he says he wants to hear your voice before bed (which is so gorgeous and sweet by the way) perhaps you are offering him more comfort than you realise.
It's possible too that he didn't want to get into the details of an arguement with his brother because he'd rather be hearing about your day. Maybe he might open up more if you could chat via a webcam or even post each other letters - it's slower but my last boyfriend seemed to prefer it, and found it much easier to open up on paper than via the telephone.
Good luck with your relationship, hope that this has been of some help :-)
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A
male
reader, Robin +, writes (8 September 2006):
In my experience a lot of men do not like talking about things that are happening in their lives.
Something built in maybe? Perhaps it makes them feel vunerable?
I know girls discuss everything, oh to be a fly on the wall!
Men discuss very little, even with other men.
You obviously can't be with him at the moment but when you are perhaps he will feel more comfortable opening up to you.
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A
female
reader, LiLKiss +, writes (8 September 2006):
 guy are not talkative like we girls. they dont open up to us like we open up to them. He told you what happen but actually he doesnt want you to see that he is weak in any way and thats not only him thats how guys are.they like to keep it short.also depends how long you know him because maybe he is not ready to open up to you. but one thing is sure that he doesnt want to brag about it and tell you everything in detalis. and one more thing when you talking to him dont say everythig in detail try to be like him. say something and wait and see if he will ask you about it. guys like girls that dont say much becuse they seem more misterious and thats what they are attracted to.. for example say that you havent felt good at all today. and just see if he is going to ask you more questions related to what you just said.. thats just an example of what you can do.. but dont worry so much he will open up to you just dont push him too much.. try and see i hope that this will help you n good luck. ciaoo
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