A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I want to know if I'm freaking out over nothing. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and before he met me, he had a very colourful past and slept with tons of women. Anyway, he is faithful to me now and loves me very much and claims to have changed.My problem is, he sometimes doesn't perform when we make love. He gets all worked up and either loses his erection or just can't ejaculate. He tells me it's nothing to do with me but I can't help thinking it is. He managed to come with all those girls, who weren't as pretty as me, he didn't love and also, he was drunk when he was with most of them!Is this because of me? Is he bored? He says it's the condoms etc but I think he gets more of a buzz out of having one night stands. What does everyone think?
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male
reader, davie  +, writes (8 September 2006):
Some men really don't like condoms. I've never had a problem with them but some guys find them a huge turn off - to the point that they lose their erection. It could be this or he might just be using it as an excuse.
Try and remember that he wouldn't be doing this on purpose. It is beyond his control, and as the other poster suggested, it could be because he is actually trying harder. He is now probably worried every time that it will happen again - which might just make things worse.
From what you have said I don't think he is bored or has any problems with you.
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 I can't speak for him but I know in my personal history it seems as though I perform better with women I don't care about not because I care more or they are prettier but because I'm not afraid to fail. When my ex and I made love it was lack-luster because I was trying so hard to please her I had problems performing. With the other women I had no inhabitions of failure so I just went at it. It could be he's so excited or trying so hard to please you because he loves you that he's coming up short. I say the more that you do it or attempt it, it will get better the more comfortable he is with it. All men want to think of that special someone as being just that special, so you don't want to do all those things you would do or attempt if it were someone you could care less about. I hope you understand. Good Luck.
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